The conference guest.....

Discussion in 'Open Discussion' started by knoxd, Oct 2, 2005.

  1. knoxd

    knoxd Junior Member

    Jun 20, 2005
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    A mate of mine finishing his PhD is about to embark on writing a book..

    "The conference guest" or something equally appropriate..

    The reason I'm posting to this board on the subject is to see if any of you have any interesting stories or advendutres while away from home on travel for work..

    I think there will be a special chapter in this book for several of my conferences trips :twisted:

    Last year alone I went to 13 conferences and workshops. Gave talks or full hour seminars at most of them and chaired a session or two.. I must say that attending conferences is one of the main attractions of doing what i do..

    I have found another thread here that discusses the what happens on tour stays on tour atittude and so on. Although I quite like the comment made previously by NM (in think, sorry if i mis-quote you).
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    "It doesn't matter where you get your appitite as long as you eat at home"


    I'm lucky that i'm 28 and single.. I have don't have any commitments at home to worry about and conferences are more than just about giving your talk and going back to your hotel room..

    Well I'd be very interested in your comments and if your story might be to explicit for the board you are more than welcome to PM me..
    cheers
     
  2. oz_mark

    oz_mark Enthusiast

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    Wow, listening to all the people and there stories makes me think I go to the boring conferences, where after the day of seminars etc. one goes to the pub, gets smashed, crawls to the hotel room, and wakes up with a hangover the next day then repeats the exercise.

    As for other things, being in a distance relationship, sometimes I prefer to be in a city away from home :)
     
  3. knoxd

    knoxd Junior Member

    Jun 20, 2005
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    Well to be honest the number of people i know that have meet their respective partners at conferences is actually not out of the ordinary.

    The conferences i mainly attend are as you say pretty much the same.
    The procedure is as follows:
    Step 1: Register
    Step 2: Go to reception and drink and catch up with mates
    Step 3: wake up with hang over
    Step 4: Drag yourself out of bed and attend talks
    Step 5: Go out to dinner with other attendees
    Step 6: Repeat steps 3-5
    Step 7: Give your own talk
    Step 8: Go straight to the pub, do not pass go and do not collect any food on the way
    Step 9: Repeat steps 3-5
    Step 10: Conference dinner
    Step 11: Repeat step 3 and them decide that the talks aren't that exciting and sleep in..
    Step 12: Forget to pick boss up from his hotel and wake up an hour late
    Step 13: Drive past the hotel where the boss was staying and he's left
    Step 14: Check in at the airport
    Step 15: Go to QC and wave at the bossman who you see just outside and hold up the free food and make rude signs to him because he's only bronze and is to tight to cough up for QC

    That pretty much sums up the last one i went to..
     
  4. NM

    NM
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    Although I have used similar lines, including "its ok to look at the menu, so long as you eat at home", that one was not of my posting here.

    I'll have to think hard about some funny stories.

    but first a tip: If you a known for long drinking sessions between conference sessions (like after the 5pm session finished until before the 8am breakfast session starts), always carry a pair of very dark sunglasses with you. Its amazing how those house lights can hurt your eyes 8) .
     
  5. Kiwi Flyer

    Kiwi Flyer Senior Member

    Sep 24, 2004
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    me too - apart from step 15
     
  6. QF WP

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    I've been a regular conference goer (company and industry) since 1987 and most mean travelling to the Conference first...that's missing from the Steps??

    I remember an industry conference in Perth 1994...total sleep 14 hours over 4 nights (after flying in from BNE), 7 of which were on the night before the Conference started. Then after the Conference Ball, I remember remaining dressed in my tuxedo and playing blackjack in the Burswood Casino all night (winning back my airfare) and going out to the airport still dressed in my tux (along with multiple other similar-minded attendees) for the flight home via SYD...on which we all fell asleep.

    Ah, the good 'ol days I was younger...and could back up night after night :roll: :wink: .
     
  7. Kiwi Flyer

    Kiwi Flyer Senior Member

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    thats what the boring sessions are for - sleep!

    except when you have to lead or present, then its copious amounts of bad coffee
     
  8. oz_mark

    oz_mark Enthusiast

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    It was actually Bob that made that comment on another thread (see http://www.frequentflyer.com.au/discus/viewtopic.php?t=1192)
     
  9. oz_mark

    oz_mark Enthusiast

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    I have lost track of the number of sessions I have nodded off in.
     
  10. knoxd

    knoxd Junior Member

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    Well its surpising the number of people who do.. especially after the conference dinner.

    yes that has happened to me numerious times.. When you been out the night before and the bossman deliberately buys all your drinks.. Its a trap I won't fall into again :oops:

    Especially when he's wants to see you suffer and askes you detailed questions about your motivation for your paper.

    And more often than not if you go to a small little conference you may even strike the worst coffee of all.. International DUST caterers blend.. The floor sweepings that are gathered up for your drinking pleasure..
     
  11. NM

    NM
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    That is why I always make sure any sessions I am to present are scheduled for the first day of a conference. That way I can get them over and done with, and enjoy the evening "entertainment" without fear of poisoning from the coffee requirements the next morning :D .
     
  12. BlacKnox

    BlacKnox Active Member

    Jan 29, 2005
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    I'm thinking of returning to University next year for some more acronyms. I often suspected many of my old conference lecturers were drunk/ hungover, and these postings (seem to) confirm it's often the case :eek:. If I do return to the books it looks like I'll be in good company :lol: .
     
  13. Kiwi Flyer

    Kiwi Flyer Senior Member

    Sep 24, 2004
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    good advice - but can cause chaos if have complicated schedule to arrive "just in time" and then get the inevitable delay
     
  14. NM

    NM
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    Its all in the planning :lol: . Just need to have a good 'reason" for insisting your sessions are all on the opening day. Don't let the cat out of the bag or those dumped with sessions on the last day will surely find a way to get their own back :shock: .
     
  15. icarus

    icarus Member

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    Back when I was an articled clerk in Brisbane, the QLS Annual Symposium at the Gold Coast was huge fun. At one formal dinner a senior partner of a leading firm turned up in a lairy red jacket while his sone, a prominent junior barrister (now an even more prominent QC) was wearing a stripey blazer he had reputedly had specially tailored for him in his croquet club colours. Bets were being taken at a cracking pace as to who would be brave enough to (a) ask the partner to take a drinks order; or (b) congratulate the barrister for turning up in his old school uniform.

    The thing I used to love about those conferences was the name tags. Being young and relatively cute, I could wander up to any middle-aged male, look at their name tag, and say "Oh, excuse me, Mr X, I'm sure you won't remember me, but we *have* met ..." And they would unfailingly take up their cue, claim that of *course* they remembered me, and stump up for a drink. Sometimes even a lunch, which was no small consideration given that clerks' wages were below the poverty line and the expected dress standards well above it.

    I reckon that at some point in the early 90's about half the silks in Qld had bought me a drink, as well as quite a few judges and a selection of promising juniors. The latter were the usual lunchers, as they also used to think there might be a brief in it, as indeed there occasionally was.
     
  16. BlacKnox

    BlacKnox Active Member

    Jan 29, 2005
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    icarus, you sound suspiciously like someone I know :shock: :D.
     
  17. knoxd

    knoxd Junior Member

    Jun 20, 2005
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    Conferences I've always found are a great way to meet people in your field.

    HOWEVER:
    There are always those who taken themselves and their work far to seriously. I work in an area of science which is considered (mainly by its own partcipants) as being very rigorous. I won't tell you which one though that would really be giving it away. I've usually regarded these people as being SNIPPERS..

    I've seen quite a few of these, especially those who come from either eastern europe or simply trade on their old universities reputation.

    One particpant at a conference i presented at in mexico insisted that part of my work had already been done by a very prominant russian.
    (Lets call him Rameous from hunt for red october. This was the nick name we gave him).

    It was said that Rameous's work was published in a russian journal and that i should not only cite this other professors work but also my assumptions in a paper i wrote were quite wrong.

    I have since actually meet Rameous and asked him about this paper. HE denied that he produced a result that was in this area other than as a passing comment (Obiter dicta from memory, was far to many beers since i did my last law exam).

    I have since run into Russian SNIPPER No.1 again and of course during a conversion i was having with a group of professors he protested and tried to put my work down and put out my camp fire. We I went on to explain my meeting with Rameous and his reaction to my work.
    The SNIPPER walked off.

    I really hate Snippers that try to cut people down for no good reason other than their ego.

    I've only had this experience personally once, but i've seen it in action quite a few times. I remember a conference in canberra where there was pools of blood at the lecturn. Even professors who snored LOUDLY during a speakers talk, woke up just in time to throw a grenade.


    I must say that this isn't the norm for a conference. I've been to 40 or so in the last 3 years since starting my current job and alot a very well run and allow for the pillaging of the native population with reckless abandon
     
  18. New Chump

    New Chump Intern

    Nov 23, 2004
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    icarus - I'm wondering whether your learned friends also used to think there might be a pair of briefs in it, given you were "Being young and relatively cute". :wink: :shock:
     
  19. icarus

    icarus Member

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    Eek, BlacKnox, that could be embarrassing. Have sent you a private message, in case you're right!

    Hi, New Chump! Yes, if they were any good, some of them might have received instructions more than once...
     
  20. BlacKnox

    BlacKnox Active Member

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    YGPM.

    Witty observation and solid response - sounds like the girl i know :shock:.
     
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