A bit of humour

[QF WP]

I'm not even going to ask how you did that :shock: because I probably wouldn't understand the explanation...but that one was a new one, not the original one that I tried and failed (and yes, I've found the first email, so will send to you now)

 

[samh004]

I'm not even going to ask how you did that :shock: because I probably wouldn't understand the explanation...but that one was a new one, not the original one that I tried and failed (and yes, I've found the first email, so will send to you now)

Hopefully this should work…

 

[QF WP]

I bow to your greater abilities and you're half my age....there's another already in your inbox. I'm over trying posting for today (and failing):evil:.

 

[samh004]

I bow to your greater abilities and you're half my age....there's another already in your inbox. I'm over trying posting for today (and failing):evil:.

It took a little longer, as I was watching TV, but here’s your second for the day:

LARRY MAY BECOME MY NEW FAVORITE!!!!

A new teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying, 'Everyone who thinks they're stupid, stand up!' After a few seconds, Little Larry stood up. The teacher said, 'Do you think you're stupid, Larry?' 'No, ma'am, but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!'

Larry watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face. 'Why do you do that, mommy?' he asked. 'To make myself beautiful,' said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. 'What's the matter, asked Larry 'Giving up?'

The math teacher saw that Larry wasn't paying attention in class. She called on him and said, 'Larry! What are 2 and 4 and 28 and 44?' Larry quickly replied, 'NBC, FOX, ESPN and the Cartoon Network!'

Larry's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person. 'Yes,' said the policeman. 'The detectives want very badly to capture him. Larry asked,"Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture ? "

Little Larry attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Larry asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Larry, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the Foxtel guy wants to buy Mom .....'

If this brightened your day, don't let it stop here. Pass it on with a smile. Keep spreading the cheer! Pass on to your friends

 

[NM]

I bow to your greater abilities and you're half my age....there's another already in your inbox. I'm over trying posting for today (and failing):evil:.

and heading home early to spend time with the family, I hope

 

[serfty]

Interesting Direction

1. Go to Google maps.
2. Go to "Get Directions."
3. Type Japan as the start location.
4. Type China as the end location.
5. Go to direction #43.
6. Smile quietly and get on with your day ...

 

[anat0l]

Re: Interesting Direction

...

• Go to direction #43.

...​

Certainly better than kayaking across... which is what was suggested to me on another long silly trip

 

[straitman]

Re: Interesting Direction

1. Go to Google maps.
2. Go to "Get Directions."
3. Type Japan as the start location.
4. Type China as the end location.
5. Go to direction #43.
6. Smile quietly and get on with your day ...

Where can I get a good long range Jet ski :?:

 

[serfty]

Where can I get a good long range Jet ski :?:

Maybe one can tow some auxiliary fuel tanks ...

 

[NM]

Re: Interesting Direction

6. Smile quietly and get on with your day ...
​

Impossible to do it quietly, I am afraid

 

[oz_mark]

Re: Interesting Direction

1. Go to Google maps.
2. Go to "Get Directions."
3. Type Japan as the start location.
4. Type China as the end location.
5. Go to direction #43.
6. Smile quietly and get on with your day ...

At least its motorised. Try Los Angeles International to Sydney International, and a couple of steps (e.g. 28) are hard work.

 

[codash1099]

While practising auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messed up and landed on its tail rotor so hard that it broke off the tail boom.

Fortunately, however, the chopper remained upright on its skids, as it slid down the runway, turning in circles.

As the Cobra slid past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this was the radio exchange that took place...

Tower: "Sir, do you need any assistance?"

Cobra: "I don't know, Tower. We ain't done crashin' yet!"

 

[markis10]

Some might find this thread on Whirlpool a laugh, I am sure the OP does not:

http://forums.whirlpool.net.au/forum-replies.cfm?t=1571777

HELP Snake hiding in house.

 

[crisg]

thats a good stuff

 

[frankieholt]

Re: Interesting Direction

1. Go to Google maps.
2. Go to "Get Directions."
3. Type Japan as the start location.
4. Type China as the end location.
5. Go to direction #43.
6. Smile quietly and get on with your day ...

well the last point could not be followed quietly.

 

[JohnK]

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

"Um, I am just calling to advise you, Senor Rod, that your parrot, he is dead"

"My parrot? Dead? The one that won the International competition?"

"Is, Senor, that's the one."

"Damn! That's a pity! I spent a small fortune on that bird. What did he die from?"

"From eating the rotten meat, Senor Rod."

"Rotten meat? Who the hell fed him rotten meat?"

"Nobody, Senor. He ate the meat of the dead horse."

"Dead horse? What dead horse?"

"The thoroughbred, Senor Rod."

"My prize thoroughbred is dead?"

"Yes Senor Rod, he died from all that work pulling the water cart."

"Are you insane? What water cart?"

"The one we used to put out the fire, Senor."

"Good Lord! What fire are you talking about, man?"

"The one at your house, Senor! A candle fell and the curtains caught on fire."

"What the hell? Are you saying that my mansion is destroyed because of a candle?"

"Yes, Senor Rod."

"But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"

"Your wife's, Senor Rod. She showed up very late last night and I thought she was a thief, so I hit her with your new Taylor Made Super Quad 460 golf club."

SILENCE........... LONG SILENCE...........

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****!!"​

 

[frankieholt]

"But there's electricity at the house!! What was the candle for?"

"For the funeral, Senor Rod."

"WHAT BLOODY FUNERAL?"

 

[Princess Fiona]

At dawn the telephone rings, "Hello, Senor Rod? This is Ernesto, the caretaker at your country house."

"Ah yes, Ernesto. What can I do for you? Is there a problem?"

​

lol! Reading this reminded me of being little and watching Manuel from Fawlty Towers. Great stuff

 

[frankieholt]

"Ernesto, if you broke that driver, you're in deep ****!!"
I heard the same kind in my childhood but not this one.

 

[notzac]

It's been a wonderful day for Internets ... here's one I thought others here might enjoy