Thanks for all the posts. Mcck is a he and he's taking his wife and 2 kids. We are going to be based Monterey/San Fran so our options were either direct flight and drive, or fly to SFO with some sort of change. We chose the former to avoid hanging around with kids but now have the worst of both worlds. Getting into LAX from the SYD flight was getting in far too late for our booked accom and involved another 4-5 hours travelling on what we planned. I have taken the BNE option even though it is a day earlier, with additional holiday, kids out of school, extra accom and car hire. Return is via SYD as there is no BNE flight that day.
The 3 times I spoke to VA on the day I asked for refund. Each time I was directed to website. We are flying R class (so there is a bit of money been passed over here) and I checked Q and Air NZ fares to SFO straight away. The Air NZ was available and reasonable (and avoided SYD) until the weekend when it's price went up over $2000 for the 4. Buying these tickets when I was not guaranteed a refund was a bit risky. I have spoken to VA twice since (moaning about not receiving the changed itinerary) and have had e mail contact from a poor girl who seems to work through the night but was in the wrong department, so she couldn't help.
Back to my original question - is there anyone who knows how to speak to someone with clout at VA? Was it VAs intention to piss off it's Vic market?