The Tony Hancock "Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome" Quiz

[TonyHancock]

As promised.............

After not even several seconds of work, less than scientific research and absolutely no testing on the general public the Tony Hancock "Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome" quiz is finally complete. (Ten key questions with multiple choice answers.)

Please answer all questions truthfully or just lie if you like. If an answer does not match exactly your own response just make something up that matches near enough.

The purpose of the quiz is to establish whether you suffer from Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and can be saved

When you have completed the quiz count up the number of a, b, or c answers

Please, please, please, please don’t bother commenting about questions that should or shouldn’t be there or how the scoring should have been done etc. Just make your own quiz up instead!!


Warning: Do not proceed with this quiz if you have humourless tendencies, have no appreciation for Galton & Simpson, Croft & Perry or Ian Le Frenais & Dick Clement, do not appreciate pathetic attempts at schoolboy humour, are offended by long words, dislike Monty Python, the Crazy Gang, Arthur Askey, and Sid Field, possess no self awareness, take yourself and your hobbies even a teensy weensy bit seriously, believe this will be a serious study, have feelings of self loathing, loathe Tony Hancock , believe sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, enjoy reality TV, have a chip on your shoulder the size of a redwood tree, mix coca cola with single malt whisky, are politically correct or enjoy trolling. Please just assume there is a sticky out tongue at the end of each line.

1. You are a top level frequent flyer with your airline of choice and after arriving on an international flight ask the lounge team if you can move to an earlier connecting flight to get home early. The lounge team get you a seat on the next available flight even though your ticket is non changeable. You…..

a) know that your “elite” status has delivered this “exclusive” benefit
b) realise that there is a flow forwarding issue and everyone is getting moved to earlier flights
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality has delivered yet another result

2. Your airline of choice offers its top level frequent flyers a new and exclusive benefit – you will get the opportunity to join the upgrade lottery for overseas flights a full 30 seconds before all of the non status frequent flyers, you.......

a) take great stock from being having an outside chance of upgrading earlier than anyone else, apart from those with super secret status that no one else is supposed to know about
b) wonder why the hundred flights a year you take with your airline of choice doesn’t give you a better opportunity to upgrade but carry on flying with them anyway
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality will get you that upgrade

3. You board the aircraft and see a passenger sitting in a business class seat with an empty seat next to them. You walk past them to your front row economy seat and you….

a) know that your airline of choice is “defending” the premium cabin by not upgrading you for free, even though you have spent your life savings flying 100 flight with them in the last six weeks.
b) Wonder why you bother and think about adopting a best fare on day policy for your travel…but keep flying with your favourite airline
c) Try to understand why your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality failed with the gate agent.

4. As a top tier frequent flyer you receive an invitation from your airline of choice to attend a Fred Perry fish and chips supper night with free Vimto refills, you

a) take great delight in being invited to such an exclusive event, this is what 73 flights in 60 days gets you
b) wonder why others are posting on online forums about airlines offering defined, quantifiable benefits that have value…but go to the event anyway and keep flying with your favourite airline.
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerising personality will guarantee you extra chips and tomato ketchup too.

5. It is Christmas and as a top frequent flier your favourite airline sends you a toaster as a Christmas present, you.......

a) tell your friends and family how your airline of choice must really value your custom and lock in another 35 flights with your airline of choice for the following year.
b) realise toasters aren’t selling well in your airlines frequent flyer points store and your airline of choice is offloading stock
c) know that any amount of wit, charm and mesmerising personality is not going to be useful in this situation.
6. Sadly you find yourself in economy on a long haul flight, but as a top frequent flyer the customer service manager offers you a glass of $8.99 a bottle Shiraz from Business Class, you…..

a) marvel at the generosity of your airline of choice, you really have reached the big time when it comes to status, what must those around think about your importance?
b) wonder why the aircraft is flying with 24 of the 28 business class seats empty, surely your points upgrade could have been approved?
c) use your wit, charm and mesmerising personality to nab yourself a pillow from premium economy too

7. Your airline of choice sets up a dedicated team to look after its most frequent flyers, whilst there is actually very little they can do to provide tangible help, they are all lovely on the phone though, you….

a) marvel at their astonishing loveliness and their ability to empathise with any problems you may have, this is what being a top level frequent flyer is all about
b) wonder why a team could not have been established that actually had authority to “do stuff” like some other airlines have done
c) begin to realise that charm, wit and your mesmerising personality is effective at gaining the support of the dedicated team members but sadly as much as they want to, they can’t help.

8. As you wait to board a flight, operated by a partner of your airline of choice, in the USA, you notice a top level flyer of a UK partner airline being escorted on board ahead of everyone else, you.....

a) realise how tricky it must be to setup reciprocal arrangements between airlines for top tier frequent flyers, and anyway you didn’t want to use the overhead bins
b) start to wonder if you have got it all wrong and should move your business to another airline…but book another 11 flights with your airline of choice because things will change
c) wonder if your wit, charm and mesmerising personality stands any chance at all of getting you past the formidable gate agent standing between you and preboarding

9. Your airline of choice introduces a new scheme where non frequent flyers can earn status by spending money with its partner businesses, you.....

a) think seems a logical step, your airline must be profitable if it is to furnish you with Fred Perry fish and chip suppers and free toasters.
b) are a bit miffed, it is hard enough extracting benefits from the frequent flyer program without it being diluted further, nevertheless you book another 7 flights anyway.
c) wonder how many more opportunities to use your wit, charm and mesmerising personality will disappear with this move

10. On your favourite online travel forum a wag, some may say guru or genius, posts about the existence of frequent flyer Stockholm syndrome, you....

a) know your airline of choice would never exploit you in a manner that would create blind loyalty to a brand
b) immediately post a response disputing the existence of Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and defend your airline of choice
c) marvel at the wit, charm and mesmerising personality of the original poster

 

[TonyHancock]

The scoring is a little different than usual, primarily because I can’t be bothered to do anything remotely complex that involved adding up. You need to count up the number of a, b or c answers you gave, and it is one of those “mostly” scoring processes.

Mostly A: If you selected mostly A answers to these questions it is likely that you work for Qantas Loyalty in a marketing capacity. The only other option is insanity. Australian Airline frequent flyer programs are a one way loyalty train, or aircraft if we want to stick with a flying theme. Only someone deeply entrenched within the Qantas Frequent Flyer marketing department could possibly believe that the defined benefits provided at P1 level match the expectations and sheer amount of flying on QF metal that these frequent flyers take.

Mostly B: You might be saved, you at least recognise that the benefits you are receiving do not match the efforts you are putting in. You are suffering from deep seated Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and you are at the very early stages of recognising this. You need urgent help, one of our experts can introduce you to other programs, help you admit and recognise your situation and guide you back to reality. It will be a long process, but the first step is recognising you have a problem.

Mostly C: Surprisingly, even though you are as mad as a box of frogs, you are the sanest of the three personalities identified in this less than comprehensive quiz and are not suffering from frequent flyer Stockholm syndrome. It may be a long time since wit, charm and mesmerising personality was of any use in obtaining benefits whilst flying but you are significantly more grounded than the A’s and B’s.

If you have been affected by this quiz please send a very large cheque in Swiss Francs to:
Sid James Enterprises
23 Railway Cuttings
East Cheam
London
Blighty

The poster wold like to thank the contributors to the The Platinum One Experiences? thread for much of the content, and hopes the quiz is taken in the spirit it was intended.

 

[drron]

I am now most miffed.How could the OP think I was as mad as a box of French men.Methinks he is losing it even mentioning the French.
The cheque will definitely not be in the mail.
But never fear in 3 weeks I will be in Fishguard and I will pray for his soul.

 

[Matt_01]

b. I might be able to be saved.

 

[codash1099]

Too busy laughing to count

 

[cqtiger]

What happened to D - ALL OF THE ABOVE ?

 

[JessicaTam]

I got mostly c's. But of course I knew I would as the quiz was obviously written for me.

 

[I love to travel]

The scoring is a little different than usual, primarily because I can’t be bothered to do anything remotely complex that involved adding up. You need to count up the number of a, b or c answers you gave, and it is one of those “mostly” scoring processes.

Mostly A: If you selected mostly A answers to these questions it is likely that you work for Qantas Loyalty in a marketing capacity. The only other option is insanity. Australian Airline frequent flyer programs are a one way loyalty train, or aircraft if we want to stick with a flying theme. Only someone deeply entrenched within the Qantas Frequent Flyer marketing department could possibly believe that the defined benefits provided at P1 level match the expectations and sheer amount of flying on QF metal that these frequent flyers take.

Mostly B: You might be saved, you at least recognise that the benefits you are receiving do not match the efforts you are putting in. You are suffering from deep seated Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and you are at the very early stages of recognising this. You need urgent help, one of our experts can introduce you to other programs, help you admit and recognise your situation and guide you back to reality. It will be a long process, but the first step is recognising you have a problem.

Mostly C: Surprisingly, even though you are as mad as a box of frogs, you are the sanest of the three personalities identified in this less than comprehensive quiz and are not suffering from frequent flyer Stockholm syndrome. It may be a long time since wit, charm and mesmerising personality was of any use in obtaining benefits whilst flying but you are significantly more grounded than the A’s and B’s.

If you have been affected by this quiz please send a very large cheque in Swiss Francs to:
Sid James Enterprises
23 Railway Cuttings
East Cheam
London
Blighty

The poster wold like to thank the contributors to the The Platinum One Experiences? thread for much of the content, and hopes the quiz is taken in the spirit it was intended.

I have had a coughpy week. This made me LOL for the first time in a while. Thanks.
PS I am a B but I don't want to be saved.

 

[serfty]

I'm a D - none of the 30 possible answers apply to me .... (I keep my "charm, wit and mesmerizing personality" in a box for special occasions - Flying aint one of them).

 

[Aussie Doc]

I’m a B who sees no better benefit in any of the other airline programs, and so once again deflatedly buy more qantas tickets

 

[Chicken]

A = 2
B = 6
C = 2

I am glad that I will still able to make my way to AFFA (Au Freq Flyer Anon) , instead of being a willing hostage of some strange skipping airline.

 

[lydea]

Answer 3b = 42. I know it contains both the Answer to Everything and the continuing spiral into madness...

 

[Matt_01]

I thought q10 was the one to get correct, suggest the correct answer may be C.

 

[juddles]

I think that this quiz has helped me identify who I really am. And it is not (a), nor (b), nor even (c).

There are parts of me that really identify with each of these general areas, and I must say, my admiration of Tony has skyrocketed (not hard when starting from zero ) due to the thoughtfulness and perceptiveness, of this quiz.

I think I have gone a tad way past these things. Have overcome the Stockholm Syndrome in an over-the-top way. I have recognized said ailment, obliterated the source, and have now gone so far that I have, this year, managed to do most of my "stuff" without even boarding an airplane.

I have even started to read books about sailing. Maybe my new thing to keep travelling.

I am so over "seat allocation" issues :/

 

[TonyHancock]

There are parts of me that really identify with each of these general areas............

I have recognized said ailment, obliterated the source, and have now gone so far that I have, this year, managed to do most of my "stuff" without even boarding an airplane.

I am counting the days to my own move away from air travel and very much looking forward to it. My means of coping when traveling excessively is to create utter nonsense in the form of quizzes and trip reports on AFF. (I am going through a particularly "grueling"* eight week 32 flight trip....so more utter tosh to come!!!)

I have even started to read books about sailing. Maybe my new thing to keep travelling.

I'll check whether Sid James has any copies of his hardback "Driving Boats for Beginners" available for sale. (No pun intended) I believe it is goes for about AUS$799.

Disclaimer: Anyone identifying with any of the utter nonsense in any "Tony Hancock" quiz probably does need professional help.
*BA First Class can be jolly debilitating at times and I also had to fly in something call economy comfort from CVG to RSW two weeks ago.

 

[I love to travel]

I am counting the days to my own move away from air travel and very much looking forward to it. My means of coping when traveling excessively is to create utter nonsense in the form of quizzes and trip reports on AFF. (I am going through a particularly "grueling"* eight week 32 flight trip....so more utter tosh to come!!!)



I'll check whether Sid James has any copies of his hardback "Driving Boats for Beginners" available for sale. (No pun intended) I believe it is goes for about AUS$799.

Disclaimer: Anyone identifying with any of the utter nonsense in any "Tony Hancock" quiz probably does need professional help.
*BA First Class can be jolly debilitating at times and I also had to fly in something call economy comfort from CVG to RSW two weeks ago.

So where is the trip report Mr Hancock. You have AFF responsibilities apart from 2 minute quizzes.

 

[kookaburra75]

Straight B's here, with me teetering on a C for the last question.

It's a sort of a reverse Catch 22 situation though. If I recognise I'm a hostage, then I can get out of my situation. But then I don't to get out of it while they serve me 'free' wine, so I don't think I'm a hostage, until I realise I am, and so on

 

[p9c]

As promised.............

After not even several seconds of work, less than scientific research and absolutely no testing on the general public the Tony Hancock "Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome" quiz is finally complete. (Ten key questions with multiple choice answers.)

Please answer all questions truthfully or just lie if you like. If an answer does not match exactly your own response just make something up that matches near enough.

The purpose of the quiz is to establish whether you suffer from Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and can be saved

When you have completed the quiz count up the number of a, b, or c answers

Please, please, please, please don’t bother commenting about questions that should or shouldn’t be there or how the scoring should have been done etc. Just make your own quiz up instead!!


Warning: Do not proceed with this quiz if you have humourless tendencies, have no appreciation for Galton & Simpson, Croft & Perry or Ian Le Frenais & Dick Clement, do not appreciate pathetic attempts at schoolboy humour, are offended by long words, dislike Monty Python, the Crazy Gang, Arthur Askey, and Sid Field, possess no self awareness, take yourself and your hobbies even a teensy weensy bit seriously, believe this will be a serious study, have feelings of self loathing, loathe Tony Hancock , believe sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, enjoy reality TV, have a chip on your shoulder the size of a redwood tree, mix coca cola with single malt whisky, are politically correct or enjoy trolling. Please just assume there is a sticky out tongue at the end of each line.

1. You are a top level frequent flyer with your airline of choice and after arriving on an international flight ask the lounge team if you can move to an earlier connecting flight to get home early. The lounge team get you a seat on the next available flight even though your ticket is non changeable. You…..

a) know that your “elite” status has delivered this “exclusive” benefit
b) realise that there is a flow forwarding issue and everyone is getting moved to earlier flights
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality has delivered yet another result

2. Your airline of choice offers its top level frequent flyers a new and exclusive benefit – you will get the opportunity to join the upgrade lottery for overseas flights a full 30 seconds before all of the non status frequent flyers, you.......

a) take great stock from being having an outside chance of upgrading earlier than anyone else, apart from those with super secret status that no one else is supposed to know about
b) wonder why the hundred flights a year you take with your airline of choice doesn’t give you a better opportunity to upgrade but carry on flying with them anyway
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality will get you that upgrade

3. You board the aircraft and see a passenger sitting in a business class seat with an empty seat next to them. You walk past them to your front row economy seat and you….

a) know that your airline of choice is “defending” the premium cabin by not upgrading you for free, even though you have spent your life savings flying 100 flight with them in the last six weeks.
b) Wonder why you bother and think about adopting a best fare on day policy for your travel…but keep flying with your favourite airline
c) Try to understand why your charm, wit and mesmerizing personality failed with the gate agent.

4. As a top tier frequent flyer you receive an invitation from your airline of choice to attend a Fred Perry fish and chips supper night with free Vimto refills, you

a) take great delight in being invited to such an exclusive event, this is what 73 flights in 60 days gets you
b) wonder why others are posting on online forums about airlines offering defined, quantifiable benefits that have value…but go to the event anyway and keep flying with your favourite airline.
c) know that your charm, wit and mesmerising personality will guarantee you extra chips and tomato ketchup too.

5. It is Christmas and as a top frequent flier your favourite airline sends you a toaster as a Christmas present, you.......

a) tell your friends and family how your airline of choice must really value your custom and lock in another 35 flights with your airline of choice for the following year.
b) realise toasters aren’t selling well in your airlines frequent flyer points store and your airline of choice is offloading stock
c) know that any amount of wit, charm and mesmerising personality is not going to be useful in this situation.
6. Sadly you find yourself in economy on a long haul flight, but as a top frequent flyer the customer service manager offers you a glass of $8.99 a bottle Shiraz from Business Class, you…..

a) marvel at the generosity of your airline of choice, you really have reached the big time when it comes to status, what must those around think about your importance?
b) wonder why the aircraft is flying with 24 of the 28 business class seats empty, surely your points upgrade could have been approved?
c) use your wit, charm and mesmerising personality to nab yourself a pillow from premium economy too

7. Your airline of choice sets up a dedicated team to look after its most frequent flyers, whilst there is actually very little they can do to provide tangible help, they are all lovely on the phone though, you….

a) marvel at their astonishing loveliness and their ability to empathise with any problems you may have, this is what being a top level frequent flyer is all about
b) wonder why a team could not have been established that actually had authority to “do stuff” like some other airlines have done
c) begin to realise that charm, wit and your mesmerising personality is effective at gaining the support of the dedicated team members but sadly as much as they want to, they can’t help.

8. As you wait to board a flight, operated by a partner of your airline of choice, in the USA, you notice a top level flyer of a UK partner airline being escorted on board ahead of everyone else, you.....

a) realise how tricky it must be to setup reciprocal arrangements between airlines for top tier frequent flyers, and anyway you didn’t want to use the overhead bins
b) start to wonder if you have got it all wrong and should move your business to another airline…but book another 11 flights with your airline of choice because things will change
c) wonder if your wit, charm and mesmerising personality stands any chance at all of getting you past the formidable gate agent standing between you and preboarding

9. Your airline of choice introduces a new scheme where non frequent flyers can earn status by spending money with its partner businesses, you.....

a) think seems a logical step, your airline must be profitable if it is to furnish you with Fred Perry fish and chip suppers and free toasters.
b) are a bit miffed, it is hard enough extracting benefits from the frequent flyer program without it being diluted further, nevertheless you book another 7 flights anyway.
c) wonder how many more opportunities to use your wit, charm and mesmerising personality will disappear with this move

10. On your favourite online travel forum a wag, some may say guru or genius, posts about the existence of frequent flyer Stockholm syndrome, you....

a) know your airline of choice would never exploit you in a manner that would create blind loyalty to a brand
b) immediately post a response disputing the existence of Frequent Flyer Stockholm Syndrome and defend your airline of choice
c) marvel at the wit, charm and mesmerising personality of the original poster

C in all cases!

 

[samh004]

I started with mostly A's, then a B or two and finally C's. Next Year I will be ready to take the next step towards a program that values me as much as I do it. I just need to hit my safety net of LTG first.