Start expecting to pay extra for...

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SeatBackForward

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Continuing from this thread

Originally Posted by SeatBackForward
Exactly..

The price you pay for JQ will one day break down as such (with the premium services in brackets - because obviously some people are better than others)

1. Entitlement to print boarding Pass $599
2. Actual printed boarding pass $5 ($8 for laminated)
3. Entry into Aeroplane $2.50 (Free)
4. Permission to use Aisle $2 ($5 for unlimited usage)
5. Seat $10 (Included in Premium fare)
6. Padded seat $5 extra
7. Meals $20 (Hot meals $25)
8. Meals Served $2.50 (Included with hot meals can't let you get burnt now)
9. Drinks $5 (Water Free)
10. Corkage $3 (Includes BYO)
11. Toilet usage $5 (Washroom attendent to spruce you up and feather down your bits $150)
12. Inflight Entertainment $10 (Inclusive for premium) you can gawk at the premium classes for free
13. Exit from Aeroplane $2.50 (Premium service includes Nepalese Sherpas to carry you and your trunks)

I'd hate to see what happens if you don't want to pay to get off. Welcome to the brave new world of flying.
 
Nice start but I think there are some more.

Exit
Airconditioned exit (mind your step - it is a bit high) - free
As above but with backpack - $1
As above but backpack has parachute - $20
Exit to tarmac - $25
As above but with stairs - $50
Airbridge - available on request, requires $1000 pre-payment

Seat selection
Strapped in standing up - free but you have to help pump the fuel or turn the engines (please select one)
Fully airconditioned - $5, bring your own tie-down
Fully airconditioned and strapped in - $10, but on window wiper duty when it rains
Seat - $15, on the floor outside the loo
Seat premium - $20, on the floor away from the loo
Plastic chair - $25 for any of middle 3 seats in 7 abreast layout
As above but one in from aisle - $30
As above but aisle - $100
Anchored chair - $500
Lounger - sorry this option not available
Hammock - free, but $20 charge for steps to get into hammock

Extras
Reading light - $5
Air vent - $10
Air vent able to be directed to passenger in front - $100
Recline button - $5, button is for display purposes only
Foot rest - free since there is none
Empty hammock above your seat - $500
 
Fee to pilot the plane - $100

(Doing a good job screwing the unions on that one!)
 
Seats without Air vents - Complimentary
Seats with fixed air vents - $5
Seats with directional air vents - $10
Seats with directional air vents behind seats that recline - $50
 
Emergency Oxygen Masks - Complimentary
Emergency Oxygen - $2 inserted into the overhead slot.
 
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Use of Overhead Storage Bins Shorthaul $10.
Use of Overhead Storage Bins Longhaul $20.
Whole Overhead Stoage bin for personal use with lock - all flights $150
 
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