Safety Announcement

Discussion in 'Open Discussion' started by Chucksta, Aug 7, 2008.

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  1. Chucksta

    Chucksta Active Member

    Mar 19, 2006
    623
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    Can anyone recite the QF safety message from memory?

    Here is my take:

    "Today you are flying on a Qantas 767. Subtlely every aircraft is different and you will almost always be in a different seat so it is important that you pay attention to this safety announcement."

    "The crew is now indicating your nearest exit, which could be behind you."

    That's all I can remember!

    Come on guys... give it a try.

    Chucksta
     

  2. milehighclub

    milehighclub Active Member

    Feb 2, 2007
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    #2 milehighclub, Aug 7, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 7, 2008
    Well there are two versions for each demo - Short and Long
    The long version goes over the check list.

    Here is the long version

    Today you are traveling on a Qantas 737/767/747/330
    Subtly every airplane is different, that's why you need to watch this demonstration
    At the very least, run through this quick simple pre take off check list
    Seat belt on and tight
    Brace position - which one would you use
    Nearest exit - where is it and how would you reach it
    Oxygen - review activation method
    Lifejacket - review location
    Escape - review procedures

    Let me explain

    Having your seat belt done up low and tight is absolutely essential during take off landing and turbulence
    It iss a Qantas requirement that you keep it on at all other times
    Do it up by putting the the clasp in the buckle
    It tightens as shown
    Undo it by lifting the buckle flap

    If you ever need to use the emegency brace position, you'll need to know it instantly
    Can you reach the seat in front
    If so you brace by folding your arms on the seat back and resting your forehead on your arms
    If you can't reach the next seat you place you head on your knees or lean as far forward as you can and hold on to your legs
    Keep your feet firmly on the floor to prevent them from moving forward

    Every time you fly you'll almost be certainly seating in a different seat
    This means that the escape route to the nearest exit is different for every flight
    Look where the crew is pointing and work out where your nearest exit is
    A good way of remembering is to count the number of seats between you and the exit
    The crew will also point out the lights that act like a path to the exit
    737 Only - A red light indicates that you've reached an over wing exit

    A loss in oxygen at altitude can lead to a loss of consciousness
    So if a mask appears from above you pull down on it firmly put it on quickly and make sure the strap is tight
    747-300 only - In some rows there's a pull tab in case you can't reach the mask
    Once your mask is working properly you will be able to help other people including children

    Different aircraft carry different types of lifejackets
    Qantas aircraft carry one yellow inflatable lifejacket for each person onboard
    Yours is under your seat or under your armrest if you are in Business (or First) Class
    This lifejacket is the type that has a single waist strap that clips together and tightens as shown
    It has one red tag and one mouthpiece for inflation and a whistle and a light for attracting attention
    You should only inflate the jacket as you leave the aircraft.
    We are also carrying escape slides and liferafts which the crew will operate in an emergency
    If we have to evacuate you must leave all cabin baggage on the aircraft
    In an emergency it is the crew who will be most help to you so follow their instructions

    Finally smoking is a fire hazard and is not permitted anywhere on this aircraft

    If you’re not sure about anything we’ve told you check the safety card in your seat pocket
    Your safety is our priority
    Please enjoy the flight
     
  3. thegurio

    thegurio Active Member

    Dec 28, 2007
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    MHC, did you actually know that or did you find it on the internet because if not i take my hat off to you, I mean as they are saying it i know it but otherwise i do forget bits and pieces, i think the most amusing thing is that i ahve the voice of that guy in my head as im reading it!

    I am now racking my brain to work out DJ's but i cant really come up with a lot.
     
  4. milehighclub

    milehighclub Active Member

    Feb 2, 2007
    861
    284
    Remember that demo has been around since 2000 or just after. I think after hearing it for 8 years as often as I have - it's easily remembered. I can give the Singapore Airlines one a good run for it's money too, but not quite as good as I've done now.
     
  5. milehighclub

    milehighclub Active Member

    Feb 2, 2007
    861
    284
    Oh and the DJ one goes like this

    Like hello - I'm Brittany and along with Jessica and Amanda welcome to Virgin.
    Now you totally like better watch us as we do the demo ok
    Firstly that bag is going in the over head locker but only if it's Prada or above
    Otherwise take your cheap ass bag down below

    Now your seat belt needs to be fastened ok so don't let me catch you bitches without it on ok
    its totally easy just put this end in that end.

    now in the unlikely event this plane crashes you'll need to know where like to leave from. look where jessica and amanda are pointing yeah, that where you go, but your opening the doors bitches i aint breaking my nails to get you out. oh and look behind you, there might be a door there too

    now hope you all brought your bikinis but if not thats ok cause we have totally trendy fluorescent lifejackets under your seat. slip it over, and pull ready hard and it will inflate really fast. but should it fail, just give the mouth piece a good blow job. theres a light too for ambience

    so sit back bitches, your in totally safe hands and like chilax and enjoy your flight with virgin. peace!
     
  6. StevePER

    StevePER Established Member

    Oct 17, 2004
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    I'm not sure that recollection of the DJ announcement is entirely accurate. :D

    I find the Qantas one, being recorded, is much easier to remember than the spoken DJ one. DJ always refer to "the unlikely event of an emergency" but occasionally if they're in a hurry this will be shortened to just "the unlikely event". That amuses me. And I like how the life jacket comes in a plastic pouch.
     
  7. Flying Fox

    Flying Fox Established Member

    Jul 13, 2006
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    Milehighclub - If you did all that from memory you have my respect!!!
     
  8. serfty

    Moderator

    Nov 16, 2004
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    #8 serfty, Aug 8, 2008
    Last edited: Aug 8, 2008
    Some of milehighclub's posts indicate intimate involvement the industry. ;)

    So perhaps a little cut and pasting from a soft copy of a document.;)

    My sincere apologies if not the case. :oops:

    Other than that, that's a ***** of a take on DJ's announcements... most impressive :p
     
  9. milehighclub

    milehighclub Active Member

    Feb 2, 2007
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    The soft copy that is read by managers in case the tape doesn't work is much shorter, so no copy or pasting either!!!
     
  10. comint

    comint Member

    Jun 30, 2008
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    Jetstar use to be the same as Qantas, obviously except for "Jetstar", "A320/A330" & "Star Class" inserted as appropriate. But a few months ago, JQ (domestic) devised their own version, which is a bit more “mate next door”ish.

    I use to think that there was something fundamentally “safe” about hearing the same announcement group-wide, but obviously Jetstar doesn't want to rely on the "Qantas brand safety message" these days. :p
     
  11. straitman

    Moderator

    Apr 27, 2003
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    ... and why would you say that :?:
     
  12. serfty

    Moderator

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    Fair Enough, extra [​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]'s for effort then in typing it up. :cool:
     
  13. serfty

    Moderator

    Nov 16, 2004
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    I travelled [​IMG]Class last weekend and the safety video seemed to be the standard JQ/QF hybrid with "Jetstar" and "Starclass" obvoiusly dubbed onto the Audia at the appropriate places.
     
  14. newflyer

    newflyer Intern

    Sep 19, 2005
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    And am I correct in saying the QF safety video is voice-overed by Angela Catterns, the long time ABC radio presenter (although I think she's now with Vega FM - Sydney based FF's will soon correct me if I'm wrong)!
     
  15. comint

    comint Member

    Jun 30, 2008
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    :) Presumably the JQi A330 PAs will remain in Angela's dulcet tones until they are dispatched...
     
  16. bambbbam2

    bambbbam2 Active Member

    Feb 13, 2005
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    Yes I love her mellifluous voice!
     
  17. Evan

    Evan Established Member

    Dec 26, 2006
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    She used to work at 2LM in Lismore :)
    E
     
  18. JohnK

    JohnK Veteran Member

    Mar 22, 2005
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    I got the impression that milehighclub was a flight attendant or someone who ususally sits in the cockpit of the aircraft. I apoligise if I am wrong.

    Also I do not remember very much of the safety announcement but when I hear it/look at the screen it all looks and sounds very familiar....
     
  19. oz_mark

    oz_mark Enthusiast

    Jun 30, 2002
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    I think there are two voice-overs and I normally get the one with a very male voice, certainly doesn't match the voice of an Angela!
     
  20. medhead

    medhead Suspended

    Feb 13, 2008
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    I usually can't get past "subtlely every airplane is different"

    What are these subtle differences? And if they are subtle why does it make a difference to the overall safety aspects of the brace position and getting to the exit?

    Is this why airplanes cost so much because of the all the effort they put into engineering in subtle differences to every plane that comes off the production line?

    Then again didn't they used to say the annoucement was a government requirement. I guess subtlely is better than that.
     
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