P
Platy
Guest
Definitions of service and catering.......for Groundfeeder...
SERVICE:
Silly me, since we don't receive "service" in either J or Y these days, despite QF trying to brand itself a "full service airline", I shouldn't have expected anyone to understand what I meant by the term (all based on real experiences):
- business/first check in without a 15 person deep queue (if you can avoid flying through BNE on a Sunday morning!)
- a forward aisle seat allocation (if you can persuade someone as a WP that seat 46D on a 767 is closer to the back rather than the front of the aircraft)
- yeah a sip of Krug in the QF lounge (if you can be there for the 90 minutes per day when it's being served)
- a sip of Charles Hiedsieck mis en cave 2000 bubbly on your domestic leg international breakfast flight (if the cabin crew would rather serve you than pop the bottle into their flight bag for when they get home AND they haven't changed over to the non vintage Lanson worth half the price of the CH)
- a hot breakfast in economy (if you can actually find one and remember those from the good old days so you know what they look like)
- crew who give out jackets to J passengers before everyone leaps for the exit (if you dare risk the "oops I forgot you better wait til everyone is off now" rather than keep your jacket)
- crew who stand at the J/Y divide to allow J folk time to disembark before the hoardes surge for the exit (if there are any crew left who can be bothered to do this anymore)
- crew who work efficiently together (if you can avoid crew very loudly slagging off the CSM for rebuking them for ignoring a safety instruction)
- a CSM who personally welcomes a WP FF unlucky enough to travel in economy (if you travelled in the one week window after this new courtesy came into effect)
- a refund as quick as a payment (if you don't feel like banking your money at 0% with QF for 6 weeks whilst incurring credit card fees)
- enjoying your loyally hard earned redemption flights (if you don't mind paying the fuel surcharges and taxes on award tickets of around $50 a sector)
- booking your loyally hard won redemption flights (if you don't mind booking 12 months in advance)
- using your hard earned points (if you can get in before the next service enhancement dilutes them beyond the 75% reduction in value of the last few years)
- requesting an upgrade in advance or at check in (if you don't mind watching the seats fill with subload staff before you get a crack at them)
- sitting at the back of the J cabin (if you don't mind playing the spot the back of the head of the travelling QF staff member)
- having a customer care line to call and email (if you don't mind getting the we're too busy to write back to you email)
- having a tablecloth for your J meal (if you can remember what they looked and felt like)
- having whipped marg with your J meal (if you don't like butter and aren't worried by copper catalysts and transfatty acids in that whipped up margarine)
- a friendly and welcome greeting to the QFP (if you are lucky enough to frequent TSV rather than MEL)
- a relaxed visit to the QFP (if you can bypass the platoon of representatives from Bigpond, Amex, Gillette, etc etc)
- a brand spanking new QFP to frequent (if you don't need to be in DRW between 8-1130am)
- a balanced meal in J (if you can avoid the steak bap with bread)
- an actual meal in Y (if you can avoid the rice cracker mix on flights in the 5-7.25pm window)
- read a newspaper in J (if you are lucky enough to get a flight with newspapers and don't mind reading about the latest huge profit performance of QF from Uncle Geoff)
- feel good about the corporate responsibility of the airline your travelling on (if you are from Newcastle and believe that it's healthy for a corporation to foster negative internal culture and fight its battles in the public arena)
- enjoy the convenience of booking by phone (if you don't mind paying $27.50 to someone for 2 minutes work)
- enjoy the convenience of using a ticket desk at an airport (if you are travelling that day and get someone at all interested in helping you rather than doing nothing and you don't mind paying someone $27.50 for two minutes work)
- enjoy the convenience of booking on the internet (if you don't mind the price of the ticket changing from screen to screen)
- earning points through program partner hotel chains (if you are lucky enough to book yourself at a rate where FF are actually recognised and get a hotel that can be bothered to processs the points)
CATERING:
Ah now this one is a lot easier, and can be summed up in one sentence that you may occasionally find embossed on your trusty boarding pass:
"CATERING NOT ASSURED"
Now I've had this mysterious statement appear on my boarding pass when upgrading to J and when on FULL FARE Y on changing a flight on the day of travel.
To me it simply means "hey, you idiot, carry your own food", and so I do, every time I travel, both in J and Y, just in case there's no feed on board, they run out feeding staff on board or the meal isn't a meal rather a dinky refuse bag full of processed rice trinkets.
To QF, I believe it means "we are a full service airline and don't give a rat's derriere about our customers".
Better pay the extra 5.25% oh fellow flyers, it has to be better than watching Mr Branson's book being wheeled endlessly up and down chubby 737s or reading the advertisements on the back of the drop down trays on Deathstar.
And Goundfeeder is right, better forget forever more the meaning of service and the concept of catering...
SERVICE:
Silly me, since we don't receive "service" in either J or Y these days, despite QF trying to brand itself a "full service airline", I shouldn't have expected anyone to understand what I meant by the term (all based on real experiences):
- business/first check in without a 15 person deep queue (if you can avoid flying through BNE on a Sunday morning!)
- a forward aisle seat allocation (if you can persuade someone as a WP that seat 46D on a 767 is closer to the back rather than the front of the aircraft)
- yeah a sip of Krug in the QF lounge (if you can be there for the 90 minutes per day when it's being served)
- a sip of Charles Hiedsieck mis en cave 2000 bubbly on your domestic leg international breakfast flight (if the cabin crew would rather serve you than pop the bottle into their flight bag for when they get home AND they haven't changed over to the non vintage Lanson worth half the price of the CH)
- a hot breakfast in economy (if you can actually find one and remember those from the good old days so you know what they look like)
- crew who give out jackets to J passengers before everyone leaps for the exit (if you dare risk the "oops I forgot you better wait til everyone is off now" rather than keep your jacket)
- crew who stand at the J/Y divide to allow J folk time to disembark before the hoardes surge for the exit (if there are any crew left who can be bothered to do this anymore)
- crew who work efficiently together (if you can avoid crew very loudly slagging off the CSM for rebuking them for ignoring a safety instruction)
- a CSM who personally welcomes a WP FF unlucky enough to travel in economy (if you travelled in the one week window after this new courtesy came into effect)
- a refund as quick as a payment (if you don't feel like banking your money at 0% with QF for 6 weeks whilst incurring credit card fees)
- enjoying your loyally hard earned redemption flights (if you don't mind paying the fuel surcharges and taxes on award tickets of around $50 a sector)
- booking your loyally hard won redemption flights (if you don't mind booking 12 months in advance)
- using your hard earned points (if you can get in before the next service enhancement dilutes them beyond the 75% reduction in value of the last few years)
- requesting an upgrade in advance or at check in (if you don't mind watching the seats fill with subload staff before you get a crack at them)
- sitting at the back of the J cabin (if you don't mind playing the spot the back of the head of the travelling QF staff member)
- having a customer care line to call and email (if you don't mind getting the we're too busy to write back to you email)
- having a tablecloth for your J meal (if you can remember what they looked and felt like)
- having whipped marg with your J meal (if you don't like butter and aren't worried by copper catalysts and transfatty acids in that whipped up margarine)
- a friendly and welcome greeting to the QFP (if you are lucky enough to frequent TSV rather than MEL)
- a relaxed visit to the QFP (if you can bypass the platoon of representatives from Bigpond, Amex, Gillette, etc etc)
- a brand spanking new QFP to frequent (if you don't need to be in DRW between 8-1130am)
- a balanced meal in J (if you can avoid the steak bap with bread)
- an actual meal in Y (if you can avoid the rice cracker mix on flights in the 5-7.25pm window)
- read a newspaper in J (if you are lucky enough to get a flight with newspapers and don't mind reading about the latest huge profit performance of QF from Uncle Geoff)
- feel good about the corporate responsibility of the airline your travelling on (if you are from Newcastle and believe that it's healthy for a corporation to foster negative internal culture and fight its battles in the public arena)
- enjoy the convenience of booking by phone (if you don't mind paying $27.50 to someone for 2 minutes work)
- enjoy the convenience of using a ticket desk at an airport (if you are travelling that day and get someone at all interested in helping you rather than doing nothing and you don't mind paying someone $27.50 for two minutes work)
- enjoy the convenience of booking on the internet (if you don't mind the price of the ticket changing from screen to screen)
- earning points through program partner hotel chains (if you are lucky enough to book yourself at a rate where FF are actually recognised and get a hotel that can be bothered to processs the points)
CATERING:
Ah now this one is a lot easier, and can be summed up in one sentence that you may occasionally find embossed on your trusty boarding pass:
"CATERING NOT ASSURED"
Now I've had this mysterious statement appear on my boarding pass when upgrading to J and when on FULL FARE Y on changing a flight on the day of travel.
To me it simply means "hey, you idiot, carry your own food", and so I do, every time I travel, both in J and Y, just in case there's no feed on board, they run out feeding staff on board or the meal isn't a meal rather a dinky refuse bag full of processed rice trinkets.
To QF, I believe it means "we are a full service airline and don't give a rat's derriere about our customers".
Better pay the extra 5.25% oh fellow flyers, it has to be better than watching Mr Branson's book being wheeled endlessly up and down chubby 737s or reading the advertisements on the back of the drop down trays on Deathstar.
And Goundfeeder is right, better forget forever more the meaning of service and the concept of catering...
Not a pretty sight!
