And thinking it through, part of my problem is competing family demands.
My father-in-law is 90. I’m not sure my husband could be away overseas for months on end because of the high potential for end of life issues. Similarly, my mum is 87 and just dealing with a big melanoma issue. She relies on me (and my sister) for support to live at home to supplement the ACAT in home care she receives. To be honest, at their ages and states of health, they could pop off at any time - or could both power on for a few more years still. It would be hard for us to leave indefinitelyin these circumstances, even once we wind down and close our business and finish building our house.
But on the other hand, I haven’t seen my son since January 2020. His live in girlfriend of 4 years suddenly left him for someone else 4 months back, after they had endured and apparently survived the very strict lockdown in the UAE together. They were clearly not on the same page - he was planning to propose marriage to her - she had her eye on someone else. And I know he’s young and resilient and that it‘s for the best and all that. But right now, he is shattered - lonely, miserable, questioning his judgment, feeling stupid, and stuck in the new apartment they moved to and lovingly furnished together in December. And when your 30 year old son tells his sister that “right now I just need some time at home with mum and dad”, it is totally heart wrenching not to be able to give him that.
I am very anguished at having to choose which family member needs me the most. It’s not right. and I should not have to make that choice now. Maybe it was OK in March 2020 (not even sure it was right even then TBH), but we are now looking at border closures and strict caps, and long quarantine periods until at least December 2021, and realistically it will be longer than that. That is just not right. And it is even worse for people missing major life events like weddings, special birthdays, graduations, births. And tragic for people missing the chance for final farewells with their nearest and dearest.
I feel that history will judge our inhumane pandemic response here in Australia harshly, in the same way that we now judge the earlier appalling treatment of people with mental illness, the way single mothers were treated in the 50s, 60s and 70s, the Stolen Generations, attitudes to soldiers with PTSD and many other things that were thought to be acceptable or necessary at the time, but which we now abhor.