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Let us know your most outrageous thoughts on any topic about flying

Matt_01

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Having read through some of the posts I have figured out how to
solve most of the problems and also gain instant status :

Start your own airline !
That is just outrageous, if you have the coin to start your own airline, why not just buy a new G650 and employ a crew, then you do not have to put up with WPs, and staff issues.
 

Forg

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That is just outrageous, if you have the coin to start your own airline, why not just buy a new G650 and employ a crew, then you do not have to put up with WPs, and staff issues.
Actually, on TiredOldFlyer's advice, I started my own airline earlier this evening.
It's a not-for-profit, it owns nothing & has no debts … and is only for ME. Nobody else can use my airline. It's not really for getting anywhere by air, I'll sub that task out to whatever other inferior airline has the cheapest or most convenient flight my airline can (in effect) codeshare with.
I've assigned myself Lifetime Platinum - DYKWIA?!?!?!
 

juddles

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I have farted on a plane.

There. I've said it.
OMMG, I had neglected this thread but just revisited and came across this post.

Is great as it allows me to continue talking about vaping without hijacking the gentle chit chat thread...

Will try to combine the two things into something that is factually correct yet shows the discrepancy between people's opinions depending on how visible something is. And the views I express here are perfect for an "outrageous" thread.

Fact 1: most people are outraged if they see a person "secretly" vaping on a plane. Of course they are - it is a sin.

Fact 2: That sinner (vaper) is exhaling a visible thing - propelyene glycerol and vegetable glycerine - this is what is put in vapes to give a sense of smoking - a visible vapour.

Fact 3: The average human farts about 14 times a day (dont ask me for quotes - just look it up) So in a long haul flight, that is 7 times. Given the bad travelling diet and the sudden reduction in pressure of flight, I would guess that this number rises to about 10 to 20 times on an average long haul flight.

Fact 4: So on a plane with 300 or so pax, you are in a sealed tube for the flight where no fewer than 3000 farts are released (at the bottom (sorry) end of the scale).

Fact 5: But people are outraged by the couple of litres of propelyene glycerol that they SAW coming from an illicit vapers mouth :)

This is something that has amazed me over many thousands of flights - the stench of fellow pax. Why can't they have a super airflow so I do not have to incessantly deal with the displeasure of smelling the rear-end outbursts of my fellow pax??????
 

Forg

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^ Ventilated seats, where the air is sucked into the cloth/leather using the pressure-differential between outside & inside, would fix this!
 

clipped_wings

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^ Ventilated seats, where the air is sucked into the cloth/leather using the pressure-differential between outside & inside, would fix this!
So would not serving broccoli with the mains 😬

Broccoli smells like a fart before it even goes in.
 

Forg

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^ Y'know how some plants apparently like to be chatted with to grow well?

Broccoli prefers a more gaseous form of communication.

In fact, farmers who produce broccoli have to also grow onions & baked beans in order to feed themselves & their workers, such that the broccoli will feel loved enough!
 

Hvr

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^ Ventilated seats, where the air is sucked into the cloth/leather using the pressure-differential between outside & inside, would fix this!

Surely they would need to be infused with odour absorbing charcoal to be effective. It might also mean that cleaning and seat maintenance staff would become eligible for hazard pay.

There would probably also need to be a HazMat sign on the seats to warn emergency workers of the potential danger, especially regarding the flammability of the seat.

It might be simpler to issue fart absorbing undies to each passenger and have the gate staff do a quick check prior to boarding.

 

Forg

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Charcoal-infused pyjamas for all passengers?
Interesting … 🤔
I'm sure QF is all over this thread now we're coming-up with the good stuff!!
 

Max Samuels

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I will categorically state that I have never farted on a plane, however on several occasions some other rude bugger has farted in my pants :oops:. When I catch him, I am going to give him a very stern talking too.
Is it true that the seat cushions are deliberately designed to absorb fart essence?
 

Max Samuels

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Fact 5: But people are outraged by the couple of litres of propelyene glycerol that they SAW coming from an illicit vapers mouth :)
I have no issues with vapes on planes - or in buildings - but the nanny state has spent so long teaching us that anything to do with ciggies is bad that they cannot do an about turn. Same with speed limits (off topic I know). In Victoria the peak driving bodies and auto manufacturers have been lobbying for YEARS about increasing speed to 130kph on parts of the Hume - but the gov't is too chicken because they have literally spent BILLIONS on telling us that "every K over is a killer" and that if you speed you're gonna run over and kill little Dakota or Jassynta or Darphlyn (insert fake name). In fact, we are soooooooooooooooo far gone that there are very few people who even remember why speed limits exist on highways in the first place (hint: not about safety)....
 

Hvr

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I have no issues with vapes on planes - or in buildings - but the nanny state has spent so long teaching us that anything to do with ciggies is bad that they cannot do an about turn.

The copious clouds of effluent that could have all sorts of poisons in them don't cause you any concern? With no way of regulating what people put in the burner why should others have to suffer so drug addicts can have their fix?

Frankly, the stench is stomach turning. Walking along the street when you're downwind of a person vaping is disgusting. And funnily enough they never seem to let it blow in their face.
 

Max Samuels

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The copious clouds of effluent that could have all sorts of poisons in them don't cause you any concern? With no way of regulating what people put in the burner why should others have to suffer so drug addicts can have their fix?

Frankly, the stench is stomach turning. Walking along the street when you're downwind of a person vaping is disgusting. And funnily enough they never seem to let it blow in their face.
Isn't the propellant the same as ventalin and stuff like that?
But I think the argument was that the "stuff" in the vape smoke is no worse than the "stuff" coming out of the 300 or so people... from the mouths, noses and buttholes.... :cool:

I'd rather sit with a bunch of vapers than next to a farting and coughing person :)
 

Forg

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I'm not saying I relish being stuck with Vapes On A Plane, but being downwind of a vaper isn't anywhere near as bad as being downwind of a smoker. Plus vape particles don't seem to be as sticky as burned tobacco particles, chuck a jumper which you were wearing while walking along the street 20m behind a smoker on Monday into the washing-machine on a Friday & you can still smell the cigarette smoke on it, the toilet-cake smell of vape-steam doesn't seem to do the same thing.
Not that I understand why those people want to inhale toilet cakes.
Are they reaching into the urinals in pub toilets, so it's free, is that the motivation?
 

Vic

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Vapes have killed 5 or 6 people in the US. They line the lungs with extra, not needed moisture, and are ineffective at making people stop smoking. so yeah, vaping is a sin.

Personally, I hold my flatulence, even in low air pressure (but praise the maker for the 787), until I can attend to the WC on board where the seat is ventilated to suck out the air.

by the way, the tubes are very leaky
 

p--and--t

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I think we need to start a new thread called "Qantas Safe Space" - where people can praise the national carrier, not necessarily with accurate information, but no one can comment or challenge them. A totally safe space. A one-way conversation, when we can reflect on how much our heart strings are tugged every time the flying Kanagroo flies overhead..... and how GOOD were those ads with the children's choir???? AMAZING. We should arrange a screening night for that too :cool:
Totally agree; and alongside it well we should immediately create a thread devoted entirely to the generous sumptuousness of the meals provided on VA in whY with independent reviews by the likes of the doyens of Masterchef or MKR
 

drron

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Vapes have killed 5 or 6 people in the US. They line the lungs with extra, not needed moisture, and are ineffective at making people stop smoking. so yeah, vaping is a sin.

Personally, I hold my flatulence, even in low air pressure (but praise the maker for the 787), until I can attend to the WC on board where the seat is ventilated to suck out the air.

by the way, the tubes are very leaky
But most of those vaping in the USA with lung disease have been using THC.The majority with the lung disease do not use nicotine.
Read post 18422 in the member chit chat for the link.
No surprise with the number of states that have legalised cannabis.Only recently legalised in Canada so expect to see reports from there in the next couple of years.
 

TiredOldFlyer

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That is just outrageous, if you have the coin to start your own airline, why not just buy a new G650 and employ a crew, then you do not have to put up with WPs, and staff issues.
I did some years ago, trouble was the chief pilot was no good,
the cabin staff were useless and the bagge handler was lazy.
All me and a C182 from a regional airport with no taxes and charges.

This was long before CASA worked out they new best.

Now days I am happy with SQ waiting for the day the Cabin
Manager announces "We need help ...........can anyone fly ?"
 

Max Samuels

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Totally agree; and alongside it well we should immediately create a thread devoted entirely to the generous sumptuousness of the meals provided on VA in whY with independent reviews by the likes of the doyens of Masterchef or MKR
Why don't we FILM MKR on VA????????
 

Max Samuels

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Vapes have killed 5 or 6 people in the US. They line the lungs with extra, not needed moisture, and are ineffective at making people stop smoking. so yeah, vaping is a sin.
5 or 6 people out of how many???? Context is King, my friend!
5/10 is a lot. 5/1,000,000,000 is not....
 

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