Are your observations on local culture from the standpoint of someone who’s only a visitor; you spend a lot of time there, but you regularly escape?
Is it possible that they treat someone who’s “fully committed” a bit different?
Yes, I only spend a bit over half each year in PNG. But surely an observation can be made from anyone? The wantok culture is very strong here, mostly in a positive way, sometimes in a negative way, but it is binding. Wantok means one language, but the word is used in different contexts. A primary wantok is effectively a clan member from the same village (often a relative).
Go down the track a few kilometres and the people may still be of the same tribe, but may speak an entirely different language (not just a different dialect). They are treated differently to a clan member, but if people from different, but nearby villages travel to another province, they will then refer to all as wantoks. If two people from different provinces travel overseas, then they too will be wantoks, but within PNG, they would not (unless being referred to as a wantok with wider meaning of simply friend).
So the wantok relationship expands with travel, but the fundamentals of the expectations remain strong. For an outsider to be accepted does indeed require committment and I think that is what I witnessed in POM. A former refugee being accepted as he was committing himself to a life in PNG. (which is actually not such a bad thing, contrary to what some may think)
I'll think you'll find swanning_it "fully committed" being a wantok himself I think in the Buna region.
My +1 tells me she wonders when I'll leave for PNG and forget to come back, and yes, both my wife and I were cerimoniously initiated to the Andereba clan of Buna, which is a clan of the much larger Sauga tribe of Oro Province. I've also had a baby named after me, by "
wan pela brata bilong mi".