After years of flying, always something new to laugh at

[Brisbane Flyer]

Yesterday, flying from Toronto to LAX on AA.

First laugh, which I shared with other ppl in the AC. A woman, carrying three bags comes in, one bag contains a small dog, i.e. Chihuahua type. She gets herself a tea and a few cookies, proceeds to break up the cookie and feed the dog, and of course, he licks the plate to not miss any crumbs! Then off to the toilets, for herself or the dog, we'll never know. At this time, there are 6 ppl staring at each other, and we all burst out laughing and quite a few comments.

Second laugh. 3.5 hrs or so into the 5 hr flight. Guy in second row of first (aisle seat) decides to put his feet (no socks) on the seat in front of him (no one sitting in that seat). Slides down in his seat so his feet are almost vertical. The FA's look at each other and laugh. I got up 15 mins later and commented to the FA's, they said unfortunately it happens far too often.

Back to Oz tonight, thank god.

 

[tonybne]

For me a few years ago.
One of my few few ftls on VB MKY-BNE.
Family of 5 seated accross the 737 pass parts of a Bar-B-Q chicken accross the isle to feed the kids.
Then wipe there hands on the seat !!

Gross to do that.

But did smell great and made me hungry.

 

[notzac]

Family of 5 seated accross the 737 pass parts of a Bar-B-Q chicken accross the isle to feed the kids. Then wipe there hands on the seat !!

:shock: :shock:

 

[zig]

On a domestic flight last week there was a first time flyer seated directly behind me - an eccentrically dressed male about early 50s. On take off he started whooping and hollering in excitement and delight, repeatedly exclaiming how 'cool' it was, telling everyone who would list that this was his first flight. As a jaded flyer I did think it was kind of nice to experience so much joy and excitement about flying. I don't even remember my first flight....
However he then asked the bloke sitting next to him if it was alright for him to give his mate a quick phone call to tell him he was flying for the first time Obviously he hadn't given his full attention to the safety briefing....

 

[branners]

I saw a bloke once on a flight from Brisvegas to Melbourne. He was by himself and, clearly not only a rookie passenger, but a coughy from somewhere a long, long way from any city.
Anyway, he commented to no one in particular how great it was to be flying -- then he almost jumped out of his skin when the FAs offered him a beer and a meal. He was so thrilled -- and I am not making this up -- when he was finished eating, he walked into the galley and asked if he could help with the washing up.

 

[Brisbane Flyer]

After my adventure in the TO lounge, next day, boarded QF 16 LAX to BNE.
In PE section of Biz Class, bloke across the aisle could hardly control himself when he found out his economy class seat had been upgraded to a skybed, he and his mate laughing as they tried all the controls.

FA came by with pre-flight champers/water, pax looked at what was on offer and said, "How bout a VB mate?", the FA, gave him a champers and said, beer after take off.

Adults acting like kids, priceless.

 

[Flying Fox]

Sitting in an emergency exit row of a QF 737. FA does briefing and as she talks about 'pulling the red handle down' the old lady next to the door reaches under the cover and grabs the handle.

At which point the FA & I both yell 'no' !!!

Gosh, I was worried....

FA comes back later to our row before push-back to confirm that the old lady is clear on the instructions. I would have preferred if she moved the old couple.

 

[Sifor]

Better she pull the handle on the ground rather than 35,000 feet up!

 

[Hvr]

Better she pull the handle on the ground rather than 35,000 feet up!

Nothing would happen to the plane at 35k '. On the ground it would mean the flight would be cancelled, with extreme prejudice!

Thread hijack.. how long would it take to reload (?) the slide and get the plane back to certifiable flying status?

 

[Sifor]

Nothing would happen to the plane at 35k '.

Is there some sort of safety mechanism that prevents the door from being released at altitude?

Makes sense, you wouldn't want some maniac running around the plane opening the emergency exists...

Edit: Just asked my father (former pilot), they can't be opened at altitude. Good to hear!

 

[smithy]

Reminds me of something I witnessed about three years ago on a QF flight from Melbourne to Canberra.
As the plane touches down onto the runway and still travelling at a great rate of knots..the elderly male passenger across the aisle from my seat (we are in row 17 or thereabouts) undoes his seat belt, stands up, removes his hat and brief case from the overhead locker and starts to walk down the aisle towards the front of thje aircraft. Meanwhile the plane is still braking heavily and we are nowhere near the terminal. The FA is quick onto the PA and in her very stern voice..."all passengers are to remain seated.........."
The old guy, now almost at row 4 yells out "we are ten minutes late in arrivng into Canberra...I have a meeting to get to....."

true story..:mrgreen:

 

[drron]

Well a quote from my TR-VN flight REP-LPQ.
The real show though comes when we make our descent into LPQ and the seat belt sign comes on.The Vietnamese tour group take this as a signal to get up and swap seats,recline seats and put tray tables down.The crew do nothing.Mr 7D has his seat belt off.When we land his head makes forceful contact with 6D.Whilst still on the runway a fellow is up to go to the loo and most others are emptying the overheads.I get up as soon as the seat belt sign goes off.A fellow barrels into my back and pushes mrsdrron back into her seat.I merely cough my arm and the fool then runs straight into my elbow-really.He and his 2 women friends then try to push me out of the way.At 100kg they have no chance.I turn around and give them the stare-they decide to back off.
As it turns out the Vietnamese group is just transitting-what the!

 

[Flying Fox]

Nothing would happen to the plane at 35k '. On the ground it would mean the flight would be cancelled, with extreme prejudice!

Thread hijack.. how long would it take to reload (?) the slide and get the plane back to certifiable flying status?

On a side note, I have always been interested to see these doors in action (and I was travelling for work so I could have missed my morning appointments) so I was kind of curious but also glad that she didn't do it.

We were on a 737-800 and the doors were the type that flip out and upwards so I'm guessing a 'reset' wouldn't take too long as there are no slides involved. There probably would be some requirement for an engineer to signoff etc.

 

[Justinf]

On a Virgin America flight from LAX to JFK in Feb of this year, we were about 5 seconds into our climb out of LAX and the guy in the aisle across from me pulls out his mobile phone and rings his wife and starts telling her that he forgot to do something (like turn the oven off or something silly like that).
I was stunned.
Needless to say I almost grabbed the phone from him and turned it off myself but the tongue lashing I gave him did the trick.

 

[Lucky_man]

Had this on a jet flight last year.

Passenger to FA: Is it Ok to smoke on this plane?
FA to passenger: Ofcourse, as long as you open the window first.

 

[Quentin]

There is a writer named Nury Vitachi (you can google him) who used to do a column in the South China Morning Post that we, as frequent travelers in Asia would contribute to. This eventually turned itself into a book called Travelers Tales. If you can get a copy it is full of some of the funniest travel tales.

One I remember fondly was flying ex Hong Kong to a city near Beijing that I had never visited before. My interpreter had been caught in a traffic accident in HK and missed the flight so I was the only Westerner on the weekly charter flight and I didn't speak Mandarin. The poor FA was required - just for me - to attempt the safety briefing in English. After finishing her Chinese version, she look at me, held up the safety card and said "ummm, when this plane have crash, please read safety card".

 

[LiamR]

The other week, I was entering the J Lounge at BNE. The lady infront of me was shouting at the lounge dragon saying that the EDR card entitled her to access the J Lounge. This went on for 10mins or so, as I left, she said "How about we settle, I'll go into the Qantas Club instead, deal?"

She must have tried every trick to get into the lounge.

 

[drewbles]

There is a writer named Nury Vitachi (you can google him) who used to do a column in the South China Morning Post that we, as frequent travelers in Asia would contribute to. This eventually turned itself into a book called Travelers Tales. If you can get a copy it is full of some of the funniest travel tales.

One I remember fondly was flying ex Hong Kong to a city near Beijing that I had never visited before. My interpreter had been caught in a traffic accident in HK and missed the flight so I was the only Westerner on the weekly charter flight and I didn't speak Mandarin. The poor FA was required - just for me - to attempt the safety briefing in English. After finishing her Chinese version, she look at me, held up the safety card and said "ummm, when this plane have crash, please read safety card".

Thanks for this Found a copy online (ISBN is 962701057X if anyone is interested). On it's way to me now (Used, not new but it was under $3USD, the shipping was over 3 times that but it's still cheap). Won't be here till next month though, but i'm not in a rush

 

[Chris lewis]

Taking off from Brisbane on a wet gusty windy day the Nun sitting next to me grabbed my hand and said that she was terrified of flying. I was able to comfort her by pointing out that once we had taken off nothing was a problem as all planes landed - it was just a case of when and where! This obviously worked as she let go of my hand and grasped her own and prayed for the rest of the flight.

 

[BillW]

In the pursuit of cheap fares, we can all enjoy this posting at YouTube:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPyl2tOaKxM