Am I Really So Out of Touch?

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Sorry to hear about your father.

Dinner and drinks sound good, prepare to lower your culinary expectations.

As with flying Y half way across the world, you will most likely get upgraded anyhow.

Wealth doesn't make you lose sight and the connection with 'normal' people. I believe its all personal attitude and how you really treat other people you meet in your life. But I find it good once in a while just to go on a 'fast' just because you can have the finer things in life, shouldn't mean you always should.

If you got a spare hour one day, should pop to church and attend mass, not asking you to convert by any means. Can't explain it, but may give you some sort of inner peace I find it really good after a hard week.
 
This brings me to the title of my post. We were having dinner 2 days ago and he says he can't be bothered going to Australia for the GP. He doesn't want to go to DXB he wants to focus on his career. I was like. You make £70k what possible difference will that make to our lives. (Not an ideal thing to say as it turns out) he said I was really out of touch with normal people.

Out of touch with normal people, is having these wonderful opportunities, and not taking advantage of them.
I know what I'd rather be doing!
 
I think the big change in my thinking has been my Dad dying this week. It has made me ponder things and question my lifestyle. I'm not particularly religious or I may have posted my thoughts on a spiritual website.
Shaun,

Until this post I did not appreciate that it was only this week your father passed away.

Sue and I are truly sorry for you and your loss. Our thoughts are with you over the next difficult period.
 
Out of touch with normal people, is having these wonderful opportunities, and not taking advantage of them.
I know what I'd rather be doing!

But you want those things because you don't have them. It's easy to turn them down when you know they're available anytime you want.

People like to feel like they're achieving something. Like life means something. I imagine this would definitely apply to someone in the medical field who would clearly be intelligent and motivated to help other people. Regardless of what you earn it's good to be learning new things and feeling like you're helping the community not just sailing around the world acting like a Kardashian.
 
Sorry to hear about the loss of your father.
I think being in touch relates to the people around us - our loved ones - people who we care about and who care about us as well.
It is sometimes not easy to hear what our loved ones think about us but I think it is important to be able to reflect and see their points.
Also it is a true testimony to a strength of a relationship to be able to listen to something one may not like to hear and act on it.
So in fact I think you are in touch....

My wish is that if my loved ones thought I was going off the rails - they would tell me and I would be able to reflect on it
 
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Firstly BossReggie I am sorry for the loss of your Dad. I lost my Dad to a heart attack when I was 29 and 8 weeks away from getting married. As an only child, I too have gone through much reflection over the last few years since losing a parent (and not having children as yet makes me ponder many things for my future as the clock is ticking)

I haven't met you or corresponded with you but I too am a very honest and straight forward person and will tell it like it is. The perception in my industry also is that I'm arrogant, but I couldn't care less...as you know, the very few true people in your life know who you are. When you work incredibly hard and have had a lot of success, your life is full of insincere people who come and go when it pleases them, and when you reach lows no one wants to know you if they think they can't benefit.

I actually find it quite sad to read your story (especially for those posters like me who have no idea who you are), as I am confused in part why you would want to tell very personal details of your situation, and perhaps a reality check is in order for you to find some true meaning to your life overall and the people you choose to associate with in the future. There is nothing worse than people who have money trying to put others down, and if I was your partner when you made the comment about "what difference does your money make in our lives", I would have been furious. Some people work because they truly love what they do and the difference they can make in their chosen fields...from a personal satisfaction point of view...what is wrong with someone following their heart and supporting their passions, creativity and goals?
There are of course many people in this world that have to work to put food on the table, pay the mundane bills and they hate their jobs. Does this make them less of people also? I know many people on both sides of the financial fence who are happy and content with their lives. I know extremely wealthy people happy, I know poor people happy.
Your comment regarding the age of your previous partners (and again, I don't know your age) has me thinking that perhaps you have chosen younger people so you can feel more control of every situation in both your lives. Perhaps your issue is not that you need to get back in touch with the real world, but you need to relax a lot more, go with the flow and see where this journey in life takes you. Then your heart and mind will be open to new opportunities that you never would have thought possible.

It is completely irrelevant how much money you have or how you choose to live. What matters is how you feel inside and how you choose to live your journey. No amount of money, travel or having the finer things in life can change this and I truly believe you wanting to feel back in touch with what you perceive as the real world is not where you're going to find your answers. Yeah you can fly economy, get a job, ride the bus...whatever...but the fact remains you are who you are as a product of your hard work, and a day, a month, a year of living as what you perceive to be "normal" will not change the answers and soul searching you are obviously so desperately looking for.

I wish you well and hope you can find the answers you're looking for.
 
Am I Really So Out of Touch?

I would say YES.... because...

he walked away with around $5million

I was like you make £70k what possible difference will that make to our lives.

buy a "normal" car

until she realised the £20k was per month

Just a regular car. E63AMG.

I do however contribute well in excess of $1Million to charity

get in touch with the common people.

Genuinely sorry to hear about your dad. Can't be easy.
 
So many interesting posts and thoughts here.

bossreggie, I'll be interested to hear how the job goes, and if your enthusiasm and determination to learn overrules any inclination to toss it in.
I have various thoughts on the "being in touch" comments those nearest you have made. I'm not sure how to communicate them.
I think it definitely helps to have a partner who loves to travel (or *insert passion here* whatever it is that you love to do). There are some passions that can be independently enjoyed in a relationship, but others that are best enjoyed together. I hope you can find someone who feels the same way and is at a stage in life where travelling with you would be more important than their other passions, work, or obligations.

I'm also sorry to hear about your Dad's passing.
 
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I am sorry to hear of your loss of your Father,

I know it was hard on yourself when your Mother passed away.

Look after yourself,

Craig
 
Being poor or rich doesn't make you a happy person or a good person, neither does flying Y or F etc those are often all internal values that you develop through life experiences and often the people and relationships you have around you..

But when you have become use to having a very successful life and high standard of everything i think roughing it or taking a couple of steps down the ladder or stepping outside your routine comfort zone can definitely help you appreciate what you often begin to take for granted and it can also help you gain a bit of perspective on your life and on what life looks like from other people's perspective... Certainly nothing wrong with trying it and you wouldn't have been the first to think about a change of scene to re-energise things or give you a new perspective...

I guess going on my earlier theme of one month a year roughing it a little, i have been doign that anyway i suppose as in recent years when i travel i stay at hostels or at people's house who offer to guest me via things like couchsurfing... I did 6 weeks in 2010, 2.5 months in 2011, 5.5 weeks in 2012 and will do at least a month this year and after a month of sleeping in dorms of 4-8 people, sharing toilets and bathrooms, catching buses and trains, eating mainly take out it can be a nice change to get back to your own bed, own shower, your own car to drive when and where you want, your own kitchen to cook the food you like, back to family and friends and even the normality of job without the hectic pace of touring... t for me anyway helps me to appreciate what i have, while giving me memories to keep forever (all the walking i do usually sheds a couple of kilos as well, so useful on so many levels :) )...

It also makes me think about my son who is 7 years old, and you go to Egypt or Morocco or South America and there the poor kids on the street might have one toy, or just a can or something to play with and yet they are still happy and smiling, and here, like most kids he has a room full of toys and yet we go into a shop and he wants another one... i think it would do him good to see one day what others get by on, how they can appreciate even more the few things they have than the mounds of stuff we often have and just ignore... Growing up myself we didn't have a lot and it helped me to be satisfied with less, to know the value of a dollar and to not need constant instand gratification but to plan things and value things... So while seeing how others live and survive can be a simple thing to appreciate what you have, i think it can get the brain thinking about some bigger issues in life, about what is important... Its maybe how much you open yourself up to contemplate life???

I know i am also very happy to try and help people out and its makes me feel good to do things for others... I usually like to have helped other people out more than they have me and i like trying to inspire people to do things, if they look at my travel photos or plans and it makes them think how they can break out of their rut and go follow their dreams i am always ready to help them out, so i think when BR is generous here on AFF i'm sure that also gives him a measure of satisfaction and so both parties win from that, which is how ideally you really want it things...

Now trying to work in a restaurant may or may not give BR some of the answers he is looking for, but it might even help him redfine the questions he is asking? But the one sure thing is that if you keep doing what you are doing you'll keep getting pretty much the same results, so if your unhappy or feeling unfulfilled or questioning some things, there is usually no harm in stepping out and trying something new... Surrounding yourself with good people that will build you up and strengthen you is usually one of the best things you can do... I'm lucky i still have mum and dad, some close borthers and sisters and we do appreciate each other and try to catch up, dad is 78 now so i oftne think every year we have him is to be valued...
 
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I'm just thinking you need to be more in touch with who you are and want to be, rather than 'being in touch with others'.
You sound quite down compared with previous posts of yours I've read, a little lost perhaps and looking for an answer somewhere. I hope you find it but make sure you look after your health while on that journey.

Losing a parent does put us in strange places sometimes. And often it isn't until the second parent passes away that we realise we didn't grieve the loss of the first parent well. I guess at the time we trying to keep the remaining parent in reasonable spirits.
 
I'm just thinking you need to be more in touch with who you are and want to be, rather than 'being in touch with others'.
You sound quite down compared with previous posts of yours I've read, a little lost perhaps and looking for an answer somewhere. I hope you find it but make sure you look after your health while on that journey.

Yeah. You probably nailed that one!!
 
Also. Those of you who actually KNOW me, will also know that my Dad just died suddenly, so I'm looking at a whole bunch of things.

First of all, sorry for your loss. In particular the loss of both of your parents and your brother. Death is the great equaller of all men/women.

I love my father & mother dearly and when they are gone I will miss them tremendously. I think that I will miss my father's counsel most of all.

You might want to change your footer slightly (if for nothing else but to remind us all) - Be Kind to your Mother. You WILL miss her when she is gone.

I'm not getting a smaller car. Just a regular car. E63AMG. Less than 1/2 the price they are in Australia.

I wouldn't say that an E63AMG is a regular car. Having never been to England but watched many Top Gear episodes, may I suggest a diesel Vauxhaull?

I have not done any volunteer work as such and to be fair it is not something I particularly wish to do. I do however contribute well in excess of $1Million to charity each year and I believe that I have a responsibility to give as I am able.

Kudos to you for your generous wallet. However, can I suggest that actually getting personally involved and your hands dirty is a very fulfilling way of connecting with people. I have made food and served the homeless (I'm not trying to blow my own horn) and coming from a comfortable home (not wealthy but I don't have to worry about my next meal) it was a very confronting challenge but also very rewarding. It made me appreciate what I have and makes me hug my twins harder at nights. Volunteer opportunities come in may forms from planting trees, helping out at a hospital, reading to people or even driving a community bus. The opportunities are endless, just look towards your passions (clearly food is one). Maybe contact an organisation and sponsor a simple dinner for a less fortunate group of people and simply be there on the night.

Maybe its a season for you to be single and take stock of your life. However, no matter what challenges you face and how dark times may seem, you will survive the journey and hopefully find a human being that will amaze and delight you.

Condolences once again.
 
Until this post I did not appreciate that it was only this week your father passed away.

+1

I am sorry for your loss bossreggie. I too was unaware it was so recent. Please don't take my previous post in the wrong way. I think I more clearly understand now from your reply too (as opposed to the original posts) - I read it now more as "downscaling" or "simplifying" to help you appreciate all that you have. Unfortunate it is such a sad trigger.
 
+1

I am sorry for your loss bossreggie. I too was unaware it was so recent. Please don't take my previous post in the wrong way. I think I more clearly understand now from your reply too (as opposed to the original posts) - I read it now more as "downscaling" or "simplifying" to help you appreciate all that you have. Unfortunate it is such a sad trigger.

I read your original post in the spirit it was intended. Absolutely no offence taken whatsoever.
 
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