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OT - Another Bad Man goes Honest.

Discussion in 'Open Discussion' started by BlacKnox, Dec 13, 2005.

  1. BlacKnox

    BlacKnox Active Member

    Jan 29, 2005
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    Totally Totally Totally OT but I'm now engaged :D.

    Have added buying an engagement ring/ wedding bands, planning engagement and wedding parties in two countries, getting married & honeymoon preparations to my already impossible list of things to do before 31/03/06 (including winding things up here, finalizing my thesis proposal, relocating to Australia & finding somewhere to live).
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    Not married yet but already the SO has exerted her influence. Looks like I'll be cancelling my planned 10 day trip alone (cancellation fee over $500 :x ) to Canada and Barbados on Monday :cry: , but my married friends have advised it's a wise decision/ investment :wink: .

    Any married AFFs are welcome to offer advice. I need it :!:
     
  2. Kiwi Flyer

    Kiwi Flyer Senior Member

    Sep 24, 2004
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    Congratulations BlacKnox and fiance.

    I sense a thread on honeymoon planning coming?
     


  3. Damien

    Damien Member

    Aug 29, 2005
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    Congratulations!

    As someone who has done the engagement thing, I can say that it's like being in the matrix. You're about to discover a whole world that you didn't know existed!

    As someone who has done the wedding-in-both-countries thing, I can say that it's worth the extra effort just to keep both families happy.

    Something to ponder: The hardest part of our two-country marriage has been the cultural differences. We had a disagreement that went for months about what light beer means (low in alcohol/low in calories). It turned out that we were both right for our respective countries!
     
  4. JohnK

    JohnK Veteran Member

    Mar 22, 2005
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    Congratulations. I think. :?

    Not every man can go through life happy. You may as well experience some misery along the way. :lol:
     
  5. NM

    NM
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    A Hearty Congratulations to BlacKnox and Mrs BlacKnox-to-be.

    Advice ... Hmm, now lets see.

    • Find out which way she likes the toilet roll hanging and make sure you install it the right way - every time.
    • Let her believe the FF points are for her benefit.
    • Don't squeeze the toothpaste from the middle of the tube.
    • Don't leave used jocks on the bathroom floor.
    • Read this book by famous author Dr Kevin Leman.
    • Learn to read her mind - accurately! Women always expect us men to just know what they are talking about.

    Perhaps we can find the top ten tips for BlacKnox from the wisdom and experience of the forum members :p .
     


  6. tuapekastar

    tuapekastar Established Member

    Mar 16, 2005
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    Congratulations BlacKnox!

    Not being gainfully married, I can't provide much advice in that field, though I have been reliably informed you will be able to sell your set of enyclopedias on e-bay. You won't require them anymore, as "wife knows everything" :D
     
  7. straitman

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    Congratulations BlacKnox:!:

    Your life will never be the same again :!:

    Just a few of thoughts that might help you in your life ahead :!: :oops: :oops:

    A fresh-faced lad on the eve of his wedding night asks his mother, "Mom, why are wedding dresses white?"
    The mother looks at her son and replies, "Son, this shows the town that your bride is pure."
    The son thanks his mom, and then seeks his father opinion, "Dad, why are wedding dresses white?"
    The father looks at his son in surprise and says, "Son, all household appliances come in white."


    Something I learnt a long time ago is that if you upset your wife she nags you. If you upset her even more you get the silent treatment. Don't you think it's worth the extra effort?


    Don't however, ever let it get to this,------

    Dear Napisan,
    I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!
    In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse . My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.
    One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I purchased a bottle of liquid Napisan with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!!
    In fact, the stains came out so well, that when the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests on my blouse were negative and then my attorney called and said that I would no longer be considered a suspect in the disappearance of my husband.
    What a relief! I thank you, once again, for having such a great product.

    Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Glad bag people...

    Signed,
    A Relieved Menopausal Wife

    :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  8. straitman

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    BlacKnox

    Just one other thing that could help :!:

    Because I'm a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much, once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
    Because I'm a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss an entire show looking for it (though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator)...applies to engineers mainly.
    Because I'm a man, there is no need to ask me what I'm thinking about. The answer is always either, sex, cars or football. I have to make up something else when you ask, so don't ask.
    Because I'm a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I don't need to see it. And don't forget to pick up something for my mother too.
    Because I'm a man, you don't have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you're crying at the end of it, I didn't.... and if you are feeling amorous afterwards...then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
    Because I'm a man, I think what you're wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
    Because I'm a man, and this is, after all, the year 2005, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I'll do the rest... like looking for my socks, or like wandering around in the garden with a beer wondering what to do.
    This has been a public service message for Women to better understand the Male.
     
  9. JohnK

    JohnK Veteran Member

    Mar 22, 2005
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    BlacKnox,

    Here are some and I have never even been married. Not as good as straitman's advice. Actually they come from slideshow I have called "AllMensRules". Many of you may have seen it. If you haven't and you are interested send me a PM and I will e-mail it to you. This is life from the male perspective.

    • Breasts are for looking at and that is why we do it. Don't try to change that
      Learn to work the toilet seat. You are a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down
      Saturday = sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we will never think of it that way
      Crying is blackmail
      Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one. Subtle hints do not work, strong hints do not work, obvious hints do not work. JUST SAY IT.
      "Yes" and "No" are perfectly acceptable answers to any question
      Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what you're girlfriends are for
      A headache that lasts for 17 months is problem. See a doctor
      Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissable in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days
      If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.
      If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways make you sad or angry, we meant the other one
      You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it , just do it for yourself
      Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials
      Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we
      All men see in only 16 colours, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a colour. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
      If it itches it will be scratched. We do that.
      If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing", we will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying but it is just not worth the hassle.
      If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear
      When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really
      Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as sex, sport or cars
      You have enough clothes
      You have too many shoes
      I am in shape. Round is a shape
      Thank you for reading; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know men really don't mid that, it is like camping

    :lol: :lol: :oops: :lol: :oops: :oops: :( :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  10. BlacKnox

    BlacKnox Active Member

    Jan 29, 2005
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    Thanks everyone for your congratulations and advice :lol: :lol: :lol: .

    For the purposes of this board, and in the spirit of straitman's humour
    I'll probably refer to my fiance as WhytKnox-to-be for now and WhytKnox thereafter :lol: :lol: :lol: .
     
  11. bigjobs

    bigjobs Active Member

    Jun 4, 2005
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    i can see the thumb print on your forehead from here ... :p :lol:

    Good luck with all that to you both. :)
     
  12. MetroAir

    MetroAir Guest

    Congrats BlacKnox, I've just celebrated my 15th anniversary and committing to my best friend has been the best thing I've done in my life.

    I just won't show Mrs MetroAir this thread however - much as I have enjoyed reading it!!! :lol: :lol: :lol:
     
  13. QF WP

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    Hey BlacKnox, congratulations from Mrs LW and me 8)

    Well, your first mistake - you timed the proposal at the wrong side of your trip. Well, you learn from your mistakes :roll: ....

    My father had a mug etched with the following quote following his wedding in 1963:

    May you learn the art of knowing that you are wrong...often!... and learning just how right Mrs BlacKnox 2B is all the time.

    I've learnt a lot after only 2 years of a cross "culture" marriage (well an Australian/Irish an an English/Australian - I'm the cultured one).

    *WHACK* :cry: Sorry dear, didn't see you standing behind me :oops: :( . You want me to wash up again dear...sure, no problem...and take the bins out as well...and while I'm out there, walk the dog....consider them all done dear :lol:
     
  14. Karen

    Karen Intern

    Mar 4, 2005
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    Women's faults are many, men have only two, everything they say, and everything they do.

    Just remember that you can never win an argument with your wife, and even if you do she can just withdraw sex indefinitely so its probably easier for you if you just agree with her all the time. 8)

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!!
     
  15. straitman

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    Yes "Karen" :!: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:

    Did you know that a recent scientific study found that the kind of male face a woman finds attractive can differ depending on where she is in her menstrual cycle.
    For instance, if she is ovulating she is likely to be attracted to men with rugged and masculine features.
    But, if she is menstruating, she is likely to prefer a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors shoved deep into his temple and a cricket stump up his axxx!
    :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil:
     
  16. QF WP

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    Bill, here I thought you were going to post:

    "Yes darling, what are you doing posting here????"

    Karen makes some imporant remarks - heed them well, grasshopper (Vale Pat Morita :cry: )
     
  17. straitman

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    I thought about it BUT wasn't game :!:
     
  18. QF WP

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    Wise move, straitman...very wise move indeed :wink:

    Now I wonder if Karen will still talk to me :oops: :?

    Now , have you learnt from this exchange of posts BlacKnox...

    BTW, you were right to have cancelled your trip to Barbados and Canada, no matter how much it cost you now, it would have cost you A LOT MORE in the future if you hadn't (or refused to take Mrs BlacKnox 2B with you)... what a coincidence that it's almost exactly where Mrs LW and I are going in a couple of weeks...sand and snow trip too, eh?? We'll have a commiserative drink on the beach for you...
     
  19. Karen

    Karen Intern

    Mar 4, 2005
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    Its OK guys, I no longer get premenstrual since I went for the Mirena, I just haven't let me husband know that yet. :wink:
     
  20. QF WP

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    Golly, isn't the web brilliant and Google so informative....

    Karen, now you know what keeping secrets from your husband will create... (well, nothing in this case :lol: :wink: )
     
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