MEL-SYD weekly commute - talk me out of it

[medhead]

Finally back at the hotel. Everyone has said about the girlfriend, I initially took family to mean children but have since realised that it might be other family. For me the time away is not so bad. We're pretty committed together and [-]I[/-] we (oops) have 2 children. I'm also only at work four days a week. During the week the kids are at school, and we didn't move mostly because to keep them at their school. As for my wife, she has joked with some friends that the time apart saved our marriage - that is seriously a joke but perhaps you get the idea that a bit of time apart is a good thing (for both of us). Also that we can joke about that stuff. The kids have actually got a bit more attached to me, before when I was home every night it was like oh hum, now I'm a bit more special when at home.

4 day week - I initially asked for a home work day. They came back with working a compressed week, 4x 10 hour days. With the flight timings from ADL it means a couple of 11 hour days during the week but that neatly deals with the problem of working long hours while away. I also get Friday off every week! This means that I actually spend more time with the family then I did when working in ADL. I also get nice lunches and private time with SWMBO on Friday. On top of that I get flexi time of sorts and build up 2 hours per week = easter every 5 weeks. Of course, I do work at home on the weekends some times, VPN in and check emails and such, do some writing in front of the box at times. I haven't really got into working on the plane - Monday morning it's too early, Thursday night I just want a break.

You need to do the sums money wise. I'm paying for my travel, no allowances or anything, and my budget is $650 a week for everything airfares, transport, food and accommodation. I break this down to quarterly averages and the range is $540 to $750 a week. I stay at a small-ish hotel every week, I got the contact via work and arranged a deal with them so that over the year I pay about $300 per week. This is for 3 nights a week. I looked at renting, but the best I could do was about $250-$300 per week for a bed sit, and then I would have to wash, clean, pay bills extra but I could leave stuff in the flat. The disadvantage of the hotel is having to lug clothes over every week. I get around that by leaving a bag in my office with toiletries, thongs, and some odds and ends.

I have a great relationship with the hotel and they let me use the kitchen to make dinner, this is usually frozen left overs 2 nights a week and then eat out 1 night. This might sound a bit extreme, but I moved to the new job initially a bit behind after expenses, that's turned around now that I've achieved an extra qualification and annual increments.

Getting up at 4am Monday morning is ok for me. I see a number of the same people. One good thing about ADL and SYD is the closeness of the airport to home and the CBD. Long term parking is cheaper than a taxi in ADL and the train in SYD is pretty good. I'm not sure how I'd handle travelling to MEL given how far out it is, same with BNE.

Just on the accommodation thing, I would always consider sharing (if anyone is interested). I actually have a very good friend living in Sydney who has offered to share but I've never really followed through. One aspect is I'm currently 6 minute walk from work, whereas they're about 30 minutes away on public transport. Anyway, this is getting long now.

Oh, yes I kinda hate airports now. Planes (737s) flying good, airports not so good. But the VA express entry is really good.

 

[Oneworldplus2]

Did 4 on/1 off for about 3 years (4 weeks on, 1 week off) FIFO ex Perth/Sydney.
It does put a strain on the relationship (any relationship) and as Markis10 says, time literally seems to fly when you are at home with loved ones.

 

[simongr]

< snip > a huge amount of info </snip>

medhead I just want to say this is possibly one of the best posts I have ever seen here! It embodies the sharing and effort that people put in here but the personal contribution is above and beyond!

 

[medhead]

medhead I just want to say this is possibly one of the best posts I have ever seen here! It embodies the sharing and effort that people put in here but the personal contribution is above and beyond!

too much, too personal? I do that a lot.

Well certainly, it was a bit personal, but there is probably not much in there that people couldn't work out with some thought. So not too much of an issue to put it out there.

Besides, I didn't mention how the kids keep trying to get me in trouble by talking about Sydney wife.

But seriously, thanks.

Edit: Just remember about phone call costs. I luckily got a bundle deal on the phone so all calls between our mobiles and home phone are free. Averaging about $500 of calls a month that are free.

 

[The Rok]

I do FIFO. 2 on 1 off. Our relationship is fine with those times. Major benefit is that I don't pay for anything when I'm on.

 

[greenfish]

A very interesting thread. I'm a few days short of a year of commuting BNE CBR, mostly Monday to Friday. It's been fun at times, but I'm now seriously seeking jobs in Brisbane.

The good:
- Very intense weekends with the 3 kids
- Really good income (the reason I'm doing this)
- Time to explore a new city
- Time to invest in your career; no need to get home early after work

The bad
- Miss the wife and kids
- Not much time to help the kids with homework etc
- Tired on the weekends
- Income impacted by frequent flights home for kids' events

I've experimented with hotels, serviced apartments and share houses. I'm a contractor, so can't commit anywhere long term (which also pushes up my flight costs). I much prefer share houses - have tried a mixture, from student flats up. Am flatting now with a similar age female - she wanted help with the bills and someone who wasn't around too much. For transport, I've done a fair bit of cycling (though not in this week's rain), rented cars, sussed out the buses.

If my wife wasn't a full time student trying to look after 3 kids, we could sustain this lifestyle indefinitely - I think she enjoys her peace and quiet - but there is too much pressure on her - and next year we'll need an au-pair or nanny to support her studies - which starts make it uneconomical.

I mix the flying up as much as possible - QF / DJ, via Sydney, direct, different times - but even so, the novelty has really worn off. I'm kind of looking forward to quitting my AFF habit, and losing my FF status...

Overall - very pleased to have given it a go - been good professionally - family have survived - but wouldn't mind giving it up now!

 

[munitalP]

Well if house sharing is the norm, I have a beautiful 5 bedroom house with pool etc... just me ATM. PM me if you want somewhere to live - seriously!

 

[vertisol]

2.5 yrs of SYD -CBR killed off my relationship of 12 years.

 

[reductionist]

A massive thanks to everyone who replied. It warms my heart that you would all take the time to respond so thoroughly.

This has all happened so quickly. I'd basically just finished taking the call from SYD when I started this thread yesterday (I hadn't even had a chance to talk to my g/f about it). I had a really good chat with her last night and she's very supportive.

The whole situation is quite a big deal for me. I've been in my current job for a decade. I get to pick & choose what I work on. I've been pretty sheltered career wise I guess & I've never really had a job interview before. This new position would be a massive step up. I would be working long hours initially to get up to speed. The company is very new so there is a high amount of risk in contrast to my current situation. Also the salary may not be as good, we're yet to talk about it.

Anyway, after talking & thinking it over I can say that I am definitely not saying "no". This is an opportunity I need to explore so I think I will go up to meet the team some time in the next few days, find out a bit more about what they want me to do and see if we can come to some sort of arrangement.

Thanks again everyone.

 

[straitman]

A massive thanks to everyone who replied. It warms my heart that you would all take the time to respond so thoroughly.

This has all happened so quickly. I'd basically just finished taking the call from SYD when I started this thread yesterday (I hadn't even had a chance to talk to my g/f about it). I had a really good chat with her last night and she's very supportive.

The whole situation is quite a big deal for me. I've been in my current job for a decade. I get to pick & choose what I work on. I've been pretty sheltered career wise I guess & I've never really had a job interview before. This new position would be a massive step up. I would be working long hours initially to get up to speed. The company is very new so there is a high amount of risk in contrast to my current situation. Also the salary may not be as good, we're yet to talk about it.

Anyway, after talking & thinking it over I can say that I am definitely not saying "no". This is an opportunity I need to explore so I think I will go up to meet the team some time in the next few days, find out a bit more about what they want me to do and see if we can come to some sort of arrangement.

Thanks again everyone.

Good luck.

 

[Flashback]

I do FIFO. 2 on 1 off. Our relationship is fine with those times. Major benefit is that I don't pay for anything when I'm on.

I do FIFO too (internationally though), 4/2 most of the time. I think if doing FIFO a flexible employer is very key here, as I found out during my partner's recent health scare (yes, my employer was fantastic ). I think for the purposes of this discussion though FIFO differs in that we often have a free ride while we're away, whereas this commuting is more a cost born on the individual.

A massive thanks to everyone who replied. It warms my heart that you would all take the time to respond so thoroughly.

This has all happened so quickly. I'd basically just finished taking the call from SYD when I started this thread yesterday (I hadn't even had a chance to talk to my g/f about it). I had a really good chat with her last night and she's very supportive.

Good to hear. When I was offered a role in Africa, I had a chat with my bride to be who has been very supportive as well and so far it's worked out just fine.

 

[smit0847]

I have been doing this every week for 8 years, for 2 years it was ADL to MEL but now its been 6 straight ADL to SYD
That included a 2 year stretch without any holiday, including xmas etc, so literally over 100 weeks straight.
I have a girlfriend whom I share my house with in ADL, we have been together 10 years, even before the full time stint I was still away a lot so she knows nothing else and quite enjoys it.
She also doesnt fly, Ive posted about that here before, so when I do take leave (and I have well over 30 weeks accrued when you consider long service leave), I go overseas on my own. Next week I am off to Japan and Taiwan for example.
To make matters worse, despite being allowed to stay basically wherever I want within reason, I do the right thing by the company and stay in the cheapest place on wotif with an en suite bathroom each week. This includes some fairly dodgy places like the central railway motel, the ymca, ultimo unilodge etc. As long as its within 30 minutes walk to the office.
Similarly with food, I can claim whatever restaurant I want, but tend to use food courts (which infuriatingly take only cash so I cant claim!).
But despite that, I enjoy it, I do work a lot, 12 hour days etc. But I make a point of going out each evening and just wandering around, normally for at least 2 hours. Sometimes I walk all the way to Bondi, or quite often to Newtown.
Thursday nights I often take a train to Parrammatta or Chatswood or some other busy place and wander around there.

I realise though, that I am unusual, the people I work with think I am crazy, I have seen people during big projects not even able to do this for 3 months without it ending in divorce, alcoholism or worse.

So...the only person who can determine if it suits you, is yourself

I don't know you or anything about you or your situation but this sounds like my own personal idea of hell.

Is your job worth it?

 

[gwilli1]

Thanks reductionist for starting this thread & for the many people that have shared there experiences. It has really opened my eyes & added fuel to my thoughts on the possibility of commuting interstate if the right role comes up. Im SYD born and bred & would have difficulty severing ties & moving away , but commuting during the week I initially don't think i would have a problem with . Im a single guy , so I'm free agent , so to speak, to do what i like, and i generally don't see friends & family until the weekends anyway , its just the costs I would have to seriously take a look at , if an opportunity came up.

 

[Justinf]

I travelled a lot for work a few years back. I found alcoholism to be my main worry. Lonlieness and boredom and an addictive personality, meant I was hitting the bottle hard every night and waking up fine the next day. That's when you know you have a problem - when you wake up as if nothing happened the next day.
I got out.
Got my life back on track.
But I would imagine I am not the only one who has gone through this problem.

 

[Paddy55]

I don't know you or anything about you or your situation but this sounds like my own personal idea of hell.

Is your job worth it?

I used to think I travel a bit for work... till I read this thread.

Serious sacrifices made for career described in here.

 

[QF WP]

Justinf, very honest about your situation but very important for everyone to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. I heard myself thinking about this earlier post:

I don't know you or anything about you or your situation but this sounds like my own personal idea of hell.

Is your job worth it?

I have some good friends who had been addled with the same affliction - one of them also got out and got his life back on track.

 

[Simo]

I did the commute thing for work to a degree for about 12 months.

I own the business so it was all in my favour.

The hardest thing i found was away time from the family.

The biggest thing i can say is if you are away and your kids or wife want to talk after hours make sure you are available other wise it is not a happy place when you get back home from being away.

Yes i have had the 1 hour phone call from my daughter who is only 3 and wants to show me all her paintings that she did that day and then she has wanted to put a mini concert on for me as well of a new dance she learnt that day well let them.

That is the biggest thing i can say is communication with the home based family.

 

[Flashback]

I did the commute thing for work to a degree for about 12 months.

I own the business so it was all in my favour.

The hardest thing i found was away time from the family.

The biggest thing i can say is if you are away and your kids or wife want to talk after hours make sure you are available other wise it is not a happy place when you get back home from being away.

Yes i have had the 1 hour phone call from my daughter who is only 3 and wants to show me all her paintings that she did that day and then she has wanted to put a mini concert on for me as well of a new dance she learnt that day well let them.

That is the biggest thing i can say is communication with the home based family.

Couldn't agree more! I think that I could only do this while it is myself & SWMBO. If/when mini-Flashware comes along then it would definitely change.

 

[Justinf]

Justinf, very honest about your situation but very important for everyone to hear the good, the bad and the ugly. I heard myself thinking about this earlier post:



I have some good friends who had been addled with the same affliction - one of them also got out and got his life back on track.

It's a vicious cycle. Finish work at around 5.30pm in a city/town where you know nobody. Have a few schooners at the hotel bar or a nearby pub. Grab a bottle of wine takeaway and drink it your room watching TV and before you know it, you've had about 12 to 15 standard drinks and it's close to midnight. Repeat every night while you are away.
I will admit I didn't handle it well. What I should have done was go to the hotel gym or go see a movie or something. Anything.
What I did want to try to explain was that travel for business is not all rosey (which I think everyone here knows anyway).
Most people handle it very well. I didn't.

 

[ncairns]

I live in SYD and spent 5 years in my last job commuting between either SYD-MEL or SYD-BNE week after week. I worked on long term projects as a consultant, so had to commute to wherever the project was located. The shortest period of commuting was about 3-4 months and the longest lasted about 2 years. I'm in my 20's right now. It was fun at first but the novelty of travel soon wore off very quickly. Plus i got sick of getting up at 4am to catch the 6:30 flight every Monday morning.

Tips:
* Talk to your loved ones. Make sure they are understanding and agree to you taking a new job interstate. Your family is more important than any amount of money, FF, SC you earn. This will DEFINITELY test your relationship (sadly, I am now single due to the amount of travel I did in the past).
* Get a leased apartment if possible. It'll feel more like a second home. You will be able to cook your own food as you will get sick of eating out all the time. Also being able to leave your clothes, goods and other luggage behind on weekends is a godsend compared to having to having to lug a suitcase every flight. Bring a small carry-on bag so you can rotate clothes or other small items as required.
* If you have to stay in short stay accommodation, choose serviced apartments over a hotel accommodation. Sure the room service, 24hr bar, pool, gym and other amenities are nice but you will soon feel very cramped in a 20 square metre room after a while. You can usually negotiate cheaper weekly rates in a serviced apartment instead of paying daily rates by foregoing cleaning to about once a week. Sign up to hotel rewards programs (eg Accor A/Club, IHG PriorityClub) or rebate online travel agencies (hotelclub reward dollars, starthere.com.au also gives 4-5% cashback on bookings from hotels.com and expedia.com.au)
* Make sure your accommodation is at least as good as or better than the standard of your own home.
* Work 4 days a week SYD, 1 day a week MEL - you are right on the money here. That one extra day back home will keep you from going insane.
* Review your mobile phone plan so you can call your loved ones cheaply or for next to nothing. You MUST to maintain constant and open communications if you want to make a long distance relationship work. Or you could always use work telephone facilities.
* Purchase a wireless internet dongle - it's much cheaper than using inhouse broadband. But if you are going to rent a place to yourself it might be better to install a fixed-line service.
* You should be entitled to LAHFA (Living Away From Home Allowance). This will make rent and food a lot cheaper as it will come out of your pre-tax salary. Please note the government will soon be stripping this benefit but this change is targeted towards people who migrated here from overseas. As an Australian resident, as long as you maintain a house back in MEL (ie by proving you still pay a mortgage or pay rent), you should still be entitled to LAHFA. If not, then you should be able to claim a daily travel allowance as per the Tax Office permitted amounts that will cover breakfast, lunch, dinner and incidentals as well as speficied amount for accommodation based on the city you are working in. This will equate to a HUGE tax deduction at end of year
* I'm assuming flights between SYD-MEL are coming out of your own pocket. So book flights early and take advantage of sale fares to secure cheaper flights. Mon mornings and Fri evenings are typically busy commuting hours so flights around these times are usually more expensive.
* Consider paying for flexible fares. You may decide at last minute sometimes you might want to stay for the weekend or that meeting on Friday afternoon may run overtime. Having flexible fares you will be able to move your flights without incurring a significant penalty. I used to buy cheap restricted fares on the flight out (as I was always on the same flight) but flexible fares on the way home (as I had meetings that ran overtime or there was traffic on the way to the airport).
* If you prefer to buy cheap restricted fares to minimise your expenses, than maybe keep one or two flexible fares in the "bank". That is, book the flexible flight out in future and bring them forward only when you need them. With all the flights you do you will be bound to miss a flight or two eventually and more than likely going to forfeit the fare. It's easier (and less of a hit to your hip pocket) to use a flexi fare up your sleep than it is to buy a new fare at the airport service desk.
* The JQ Starter fare with Plus bundle is a good balance between price and flexibility. It gives you partial flexibility for an extra $17 per flight SYD-MEL and you will still earn QFF points and SC.
* You will find that employers will probably make you stay back late because you have "no family to go home to". Don't fall for this excuse. Try to leave the office at reasonable hours or you will burn yourself out.
* You will probably find that your entire social network will be your work network. Use them. Sure you'll get sick of seeing your colleagues all the time but its better than drinking yourself silly in your hotel alone. Better yet, make new friends. When it comes time to settling back home in MEL at least you know you will have friends to call up for free accommodation when you need to come up to visit SYD ;-)
* Sign up to recreation club, sports club or some sort of activity. You will not have access to your usual things that relax you, so find something to keep you busy in your hours away from the office. This may be an opportunity to do something that you have always wanted to do, but never gotten around to doing.
* Fly your partner or family up to SYD once in a while. It would mean one less return flight for you.
*
* Take the time to explore SYD. Its a great city and even after living here for 7 years (even though 5 of those included travel interstate), I'm still finding lots of great new things each week.
* Enjoy the FF points and SC you will accumulate and all the perks that come with higher status. After all, thats why were are on here!

Hopefully you will make the right choice.

Cheers,
ncairns

PS. This is my first post so be gentle.