Frequent travel & relationships

[anat0l]

As a single male under 30 years and not looking for a relationship yet, I'm not sure how to answer this one.

If I was forced to give an opinion, then I believe that travel should not give an excuse for cheating.

Truth be told, that is not the thing that concerns me per se about travel as much as the strain of separation would. In the mining industry, fly-in-fly-out is a classic example of this (our centre has done quite a bit of research about the social implications of FIFO operations).

I do live at home with my parents so when I travel, no matter if it is 2 miles or 2000 miles away, I have to keep them updated on where I am and how I am on at least a daily basis. That is a strain on me to remember to send that SMS or what not, but I suppose I'll only "understand" when I become a father.

 

[djfuzz]

BTW - if you watched "Up in the Air" on CX (and perhaps other airlines) - you got a 'censored' version. (Pathetic considering the bit they cut out).

*SPOILER ALERT* (as I assume serfty still hasn't seen it ):

Which bits do you mean, Mal?

Saw Up in the Air originally at Hoyts with Danger (thanks again!) but did catch it on Studio CX recently and noticed some hilarious airline edits - firstly, lost the sex scene (an impressive shot, but not narratively significant as it was implied) and edited the 'rub one out' scene so that it completely lost its punch. Then the dubs were edited so that Alex says 'think of me as you but with a smile', and Ryan refers to the people in the quick line at security screening as 'businessmen' (I imagine the original line might not play so well in CX's home region; I've found it doesn't really have a basis in reality so does seem a bit on the nose).

I found the overall effect quite amusing given I knew what they'd replaced - would be quite weird watching it cold though.

 

[oz_mark]

My work related trips have tended to involve binge drinking!

 

[simongr]

I do live at home with my parents so when I travel, no matter if it is 2 miles or 2000 miles away, I have to keep them updated on where I am and how I am on at least a daily basis. That is a strain on me to remember to send that SMS or what not, but I suppose I'll only "understand" when I become a father.

Umm as a Dad of only a small baby I can't predict exactly how I will act when he is 30 but if he is living at home that will be my first problem and I certainly wont be asking for detailed info what he is up to week to week let alone day to day...

 

[Keith009]

When I saw this topic, I wasn't expecting the direction that the discussion seems to have taken.

I agree with simongr - I do find it hard to be away from the OH simply because it is hard to be without him for 4 weeks at a time, which is why he's coming to SFO with me for part of my next trip.

 

[Grooba]

Interesting thread.

The option is always there to be unfaithful but no more than if you were out on the town without your SO.

I work with a colleague who absolutely loves his lifestyle, he has a woman in every capital city in Australia, as well as a regular long term GF at in his home city. This I know first hand as I have seen it with my two eyes, as we both regularly meet up on different projects around the region.

Can't say I agree with it but it's his choice.

 

[coolumbla]

Having read this thread i paid attention in the Hilton KL lounge tonight.Amazing how many fathers were there with their daughters!:shock:

Eldest delinquent (then a 17 yo female who thankfully has her mothers looks) and I were checking into the 4 points in sydney on a friday night into a twin room when eth receptionist looked at me and asked if i was sure i wanted 2 single or wanted a king size bed!



C

 

[Must...Fly!]

Eldest delinquent (then a 17 yo female who thankfully has her mothers looks) and I were checking into the 4 points in sydney on a friday night into a twin room when eth receptionist looked at me and asked if i was sure i wanted 2 single or wanted a king size bed!



C

LOL!

Maybe take it as a compliment...There are plenty of other things I could write here that would be funny, but in the interests of my pleasure out of posting on AFF, I'll refrain!!

 

[MrHyde]

This is an interesting thread.

I've found that when I am travelling, I have a lesser social life than when at home. Over the last 2 years, my travelling has steadily increased and like many here, I find that other than work, I don't have the energy to do anything else. I'm in bed and fast asleep by 9 PM.

I used to love drinking, but only when with friends and out-n-about, but would only drink on Friday or Saturday nights (so as to not affect work the day after). With all the travelling, when I get home, I'm still too tired to go out socializing. So, a positive (I think) is that I have stopped drinking. My last drink was nearly a year ago. I need to change my nick to the alter ego.

The biggest problem has been the time away from my wife and child. There are a number of ways that I have tried to handled this.

1) Where possible, have them travel with me. If I am going on extending trips (over 2 weeks), I propose taking them with me (on company expense) rather than me flying back home every weekend. This is normally acceptable as it does turn out to be cheaper for the company.

2) Use the points earnt by travelling to take the full family on long (3-4 weeks) holidays away from work where the whole time is spent with them - no phones, no emails.

3) Lots of skype video calls nearly every night.

Cheers,
MrHyde

 

[browski]

I don't believe it is normal or natural for a partner to suspect that the travelling individual is unfaithful simply because they are away. I would think the issue is a fundamental lack of trust in ones partner.

When I'm away without my boyfriend and him without me we don't conceal the fact that we are having a good time and I don't believe he is unfaithful based on simply being away.

Well if you are "in love", then I suppose not. But if you simply "love your partner" then the odds would sway the other way.

 

[medhead]

Well if you are "in love", then I suppose not. But if you simply "love your partner" then the odds would sway the other way.

Having heard someone try to justify their actions by making this distinct many years ago and having thought about the premise since then I think it is totally false. IMO if you are not in love with someone then you don't love them, you only like them a lot.

As for the topic it is possible to cheat in thought but not deed. I also think that you'd have to seriously question the basis of you relationship if you can't be apart without having the need to seek gratification from someone else.

 

[Flashback]

As for the topic it is possible to cheat in thought but not deed. I also think that you'd have to seriously question the basis of you relationship if you can't be apart without having the need to seek gratification from someone else.

Could not agree with you more. Well said.

 

[BVT]

V interesting thread. More interesting comments!

As a "retired" road warrior, now brought back I can share some insights.

Back in the day, I was away 3 weeks out of 4 more often than not overseas. With a very generous travel policy imposed by those who footed the bill, I enjoyed the fruits of excessive overseas travel. Eg: J or F travel, limos, 5* hotels etc.

As a benefit, I made friends overseas or caught up with friends. As a consequence, I am now "single".

I can honestly say that I never tempted to play away from home when I was married and now cannot really be bothered. After a days work, I really crave a hot bath, a decent meal and zzzzz. Dull yes. But satisfying? - I do not yet know.

A previous poster who said it is really personality based, is, as far as I am concerned that assessment is probably correct!

BvT