Do you like titles (eg Mr / Mrs / Miss / Dr / etc)?

Do you like to be called "Title" "Surname"?

  • Yes, I'm Mr / Miss / Mrs / Dr Surname and don't you forget it

    Votes: 11 15.5%
  • Depend on the situation

    Votes: 32 45.1%
  • I might have a last name, but I've forgotten what it is, just call me John / Jane.

    Votes: 28 39.4%

  • Total voters
    71
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Himeno

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Once I called QF and they asked if they should refer to me as Dr blackcat. I always tell them to use my preferred first name (I hate my actual first name).
I have my preferred name on file with QF (added to my QFF profile when I joined). I get some emails with that name, but other emails and any contact with QF staff use the other name. :/
Why have a preferred name field if they rarely use it?
 
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Princess Fiona

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I have my preferred name on file with QF (added to my QFF profile when I joined). I get some emails with that name, but other emails and any contact with QF staff use the other name. :/
Why have a preferred name field if they rarely use it?

Same, all my emails from QF are using my preferred name but I always have to tell the staff to call me it as they will use my first given name.
 

anat0l

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I'm easy going in any sense, although being called "Sir" except possibly in a service environment takes some getting used to. I know one time I had to give a seminar at a high school and I was referred to as "Sir" many times, and each time I said, "Just call me <first name>".

I had a tendency for a while to call some of my friends or colleagues "Mr ..." or "Ms ..." or "Dr ..." or "Prof ...", probably because - as alluded - addressing someone this way elevates them a bit more than just calling them on the first name. Also, the array of surnames sound so much more interesting that first names (especially when you have multiple friends with the same first name). Even though it wasn't a formal setting, my tone wouldn't necessarily be formal but it did grab their attention more than calling by first name, and if they really, really insisted on calling them by first name then I would.

I know there is one member on this forum who I definitely address as "Mr ...", mainly because I think that was how I did so the first time I met him. He still says, "Call me <first name>", but traditions are hard to put away sometimes. I know that for my primary and high school teachers, if I met them again, I would be strongly tempted to call them as "Ms ..." or "Mr ..." rather than by their first names.

In some cultures, only until you know someone very well and they are very comfortable being addressed by first name, you should (must) address them as salutation + surname. I know that in the Philippines, the service culture is still very much "Sir" and "Madam", even if one knows the other well, you might not even say "Mr <surname>" or what not. Letters or emails, even when sent to a specific recipient, are still addressed as "Dear Sir" or "Dear Madam". And of course, for twelve years of my life, I was referred to as "Master anat0l"; even my QFF membership card had that salutation on it.

There is perhaps only one culture in the world that I am aware of where it is far more common (indeed, "formalised") to address someone by their first name rather than their surname (family name).

I've often been called as "Mr <surname>" in the airline (or other travel / service) industry at first contact, and normally you should get a prize if you can pronounce my surname correctly on the first go, but it's been mispronounced so many times on the first go that I often don't mind (or if it is in any way appropriate, simply interject politely with the correct pronunciation). I can understand that people in a service environment intend a certain respect and I also reciprocate that in other contexts where my respect for others is expected. In other settings or when a relationship is developing, I then might add "<first name> is fine".
 

gaz0303

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Im a Dr but not of the human medical type. When working in private industry, the title is used in a vain attempt to establish credibility and authority at the initial introduction only if I am being introduced by somebody else. In the tertiary education sector, I don't use it as we all seem to have the title. I use the title with airlines as it appears to promote a favourable level of service towards me.
 

Rox

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I think there's also a generational change here. I call people by their titles far more than my younger co- workers.
I have parents much older than those of my friends. One of my friends mothers still addresses my mother as Mrs.
 

anat0l

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Im a Dr but not of the human medical type. When working in private industry, the title is used in a vain attempt to establish credibility and authority at the initial introduction only if I am being introduced by somebody else. In the tertiary education sector, I don't use it as we all seem to have the title. I use the title with airlines as it appears to promote a favourable level of service towards me.

I've recently come into the same club as you are :)

The way I see it is that the title will simply be a reflection of my profession and that is that. In industry or where I work, it is simply part of the address due to my position; for academia, it is the same as using Prof, A/Prof etc.. Between colleagues and closer acquaintances, it may just be first name purely due to - again - social norms as previously discussed.

As for airlines, I'd likely only use it for work-related travel as it does give some evidence / credence that such travel was related to work. I'm a bit afraid of using it overall on airlines mainly due to the fact that I have no medical qualification (apart from Senior First Aid and CPR), so would look like a complete idiot and potential pariah if "called upon" during a genuine emergency on board!
 

harvyk

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I think there's also a generational change here. I call people by their titles far more than my younger co- workers.
I have parents much older than those of my friends. One of my friends mothers still addresses my mother as Mrs.

I have to agree that there is a generational change here. I remember when I was younger, it wasn't unless you knew the person very well did you call them by their first name, this was doubly so if you where a child addressing an adult. Where first names where used between a child and an adult it would always start with Aunty or Uncle.

I noticed that it was about the mid 90's that the convention of title + surname started been dropped, and these days the number of situations where my kids call someone by the name of Mr / Mrs seems to be limited to some teachers. I certainly don't get called Mr K by any child I know (I wouldn't even go as far to say Mr K is my dad, since he has always been relaxed about such things).

Also I don't think title + surname = respect, as I've heard people be call "Mr Smith" with absolutely no respect in the voice, and yet I've heard others be called "John" even by children where you could tell there was still a degree of respect for ones elders.
 

blackcat20

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As for airlines, I'd likely only use it for work-related travel as it does give some evidence / credence that such travel was related to work. I'm a bit afraid of using it overall on airlines mainly due to the fact that I have no medical qualification (apart from Senior First Aid and CPR), so would look like a complete idiot and potential pariah if "called upon" during a genuine emergency on board!

I've only ever heard them call for a "medical doctor". In five years of travel, I have never been approached for assistance.
 

wingspan

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I often find it amusing when someone says "Welcome Mr Wingspan, I mean, sorry, Dr Wingspan". To me, titles have no meaning whatsoever. Someone can use your title and still be disrespectful. Just like someone can not use your title and be very respectful.

Even young children understand this. My mum used to work at a primary school where the children were to refer to teachers by first name only. She said it didn't matter if kids called her by just her first name, or used the full Mrs xx_, they could be disrespectful or respectful either way.
 

burrco

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On planes etc. after being addressed as Mr. burrco, I always say call me <first name>, as others have mentioned this doesn't work on airlines like CX who just call me Mr. <first name>.

I run an accounting firm in the country, where things are pretty laid back, so normally address new clients by their first name. The exceptions to this, ageist as it is, is normally people aged 50+ who I normally address as Mr/Mrs etc and if people make an appointment under Mr. Charles Xyz as opposed to just Charles Xyz I will use whatever title they booked under.

I still refer to parents of my childhood friends as Mr/Mrs - old habits die hard.

Last week the teenager working at the KFC called me Sir, just made me feel old :(
 

blackcat20

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On planes etc. after being addressed as Mr. burrco, I always say call me <first name>, as others have mentioned this doesn't work on airlines like CX who just call me Mr. <first name>.

I run an accounting firm in the country, where things are pretty laid back, so normally address new clients by their first name. The exceptions to this, ageist as it is, is normally people aged 50+ who I normally address as Mr/Mrs etc and if people make an appointment under Mr. Charles Xyz as opposed to just Charles Xyz I will use whatever title they booked under.

I still refer to parents of my childhood friends as Mr/Mrs - old habits die hard.

Last week the teenager working at the KFC called me Sir, just made me feel old :(

I loath being called ma'am, usually by school students. I'm not that old!
 

anat0l

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Anyone been or worked in environments where you are referred to by your surname only? For example, "Smith", or "Jones", or "Papadounaracous"....

Only contexts I can think of are military, all-boys schools and possibly more common in societies where the surname is stated before the first name.
 

anat0l

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I loath being called ma'am, usually by school students. I'm not that old!

Where I went to high school, the female teachers were often addressed "Miss", irrespective of their marital status.
 

ckck

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When flying the FA's address me as Miss <Surname>, I always let them know that I am happy being addressed by my first name but they tend to persist in calling me by my surname. This does not worry me although I don't find it necessary.

My nieces and nephews address me as Aunty <First name>. Pretty much everyone in the family does this with my sisters children as they need some sort of discipline. So it is Aunty, Uncle or equivalent in their respective foreign language. If they address me by my first name they are corrected and this habit is also consistently done by the rest of the family.

Among my peers it is on a first name basis. Among my seniors it is on a first name basis as pretty much everyone knows most everyone as I am in a very small industry. If I address the most senior person I know in my industry as Sir or Mr he would laugh at me and tell me to knock it off.

If I meet someone and they introduce them self to me as Mr Smith I address them as "Mr Smith". Having said this if someone uses their title in such a fashion I will reply in kind and Introduce myself as Miss <Surname>. I know one person who insists on everyone addressing him as Mr Smith (not his real name) but he will address everyone else by their first name. It does not surprise anyone who knows him that his business is slowly but surely failing as no one wants to work with him. He is also the type that insists (read demands) at check in that he be given an upgrade. He holds no status so we can't even accuse him of putting the "W" in WP. AFFers will not be surprised to read that he found himself in row 29 on a 737 (methinks the check in agent would have put him in row 30 if they could ;) . ). He basically expects that people bow down and serve him so most people within five minutes of meeting him realise he is trouble. Fortunately I only know one person like this and I have set up my life so that I don't have to see him. (except for the time I saw him at the airport demanding an upgrade and watching him drag his heels down to row 29 while I was getting all cozy in J, I was travelling on a JASA but it sure did feel good watching him take that long walk down the back.) :D
 

JohnM

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I've recently come into the same club as you are :)

The way I see it is that the title will simply be a reflection of my profession and that is that. In industry or where I work, it is simply part of the address due to my position; for academia, it is the same as using Prof, A/Prof etc.. Between colleagues and closer acquaintances, it may just be first name purely due to - again - social norms as previously discussed.

As for airlines, I'd likely only use it for work-related travel as it does give some evidence / credence that such travel was related to work. I'm a bit afraid of using it overall on airlines mainly due to the fact that I have no medical qualification (apart from Senior First Aid and CPR), so would look like a complete idiot and potential pariah if "called upon" during a genuine emergency on board!

You wouldn't be the first person with a PhD to have to gently tell flight crew that they were not really the right person to ask to attend to the medical emergency.
 
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