Dealing with poor manners

[flyingfan]

Some time ago, I was traveling in Y long haul, the pax in the seat behind me was making a habit ( from the moment he sat down ) of bashing the back of my seat, this was not going to be a lot of fun for me over the next 12 hours or so, so I immediately reclined my seat as far as it would go. After a few minutes he asked if I would please put it back up , I said sure no worries , but only if you stop bashing the back of my seat, ( big smile) he looked at me for two seconds , and then said OK. We both had a much happier trip ,

Glad that was dealt with amicably (isn't always the case sadly)... however I am curious, was there any rational reason for his bashing? Was he trying to operate an IFE screen, or just using your seat back as a punching bag?

 

[bigjobs]

Just last week I had a young fellow behind me (about 5 or so I'd say) kicking my seat. I just asked his dad if we could get the young fellow to stop kicking my seat. Dad didn't even know it was happening ... I guess people can have a lot of things going on. Was no worries.

A few weeks back I got on plane for SYD - PER flight. I was in 24A on the 767. Guy in 24B had already got on and had placed his carry on under the seat in front. This carry on protruded into the space under the seat in front of me, where I would place my feet. I took one look at that carry on, looked at him and just said 'Clearly that's not going to stay there for the entire flight is it.' He replies, 'It won't fit above in the locker'. I reply, 'Well, this isn't a solution. I'm not interested in having your luggage at my feet. I suggest we get a FA and find another place for your luggage'. In the end it did manage to fit in the locker above.

Why would anyone think that the person sitting next to you would find that acceptable ... I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing.

 

[Foreigner]

I try exercising fair bit of tolerance.

Maybe etiquette needs to be brought up on airline webpage or in email confirmation under heading "How to make your trip enjoyable..." or like.

Or, per-flight announcement, along with advice on storing bags appropriately (wheels to the back, smaller items under seat, et al), turning mobile devices off, DVT, etc.

 

[auspal]

Every time i get on an aircraft I pray the person in front of me does not recline. Theast time I reclined my seat was forcefully and repeatedly kicked. This makes out reasonable for me to assume a person behind me does not want me to recline my seat. So I don't recline out of consideration for that other person. (knowing that I hating recliners). So it is very easy to understand how people can know what other people expect, simply by reference to our own expectations.


Sent from the Throne

Why didnt you turn around and ask them to stop kicking ?????

 

[KitKat]

Just last week I had a young fellow behind me (about 5 or so I'd say) kicking my seat. I just asked his dad if we could get the young fellow to stop kicking my seat. Dad didn't even know it was happening ... I guess people can have a lot of things going on. Was no worries.

A few weeks back I got on plane for SYD - PER flight. I was in 24A on the 767. Guy in 24B had already got on and had placed his carry on under the seat in front. This carry on protruded into the space under the seat in front of me, where I would place my feet. I took one look at that carry on, looked at him and just said 'Clearly that's not going to stay there for the entire flight is it.' He replies, 'It won't fit above in the locker'. I reply, 'Well, this isn't a solution. I'm not interested in having your luggage at my feet. I suggest we get a FA and find another place for your luggage'. In the end it did manage to fit in the locker above.

Why would anyone think that the person sitting next to you would find that acceptable ... I wouldn't dream of doing such a thing.

Reminds me of a QF domestic J flight I was on. Boarded early, placed my small laptop bag in the locker above me. As the Y luggage compartments gradually filled up, the FA asked whose bag it was above me, where I was sitting. Yep, that is mine. She took my laptop bag out from the compartment above me and placed it under the seat in front of me.... popped a huge luggage for a passenger in Y in the compartment above me.
I was disappointed that despite being in row 2 of J (737), I had my bag stuffed in front of me at my legs... oh well what to do, board early, fly J, still get your only bag stuffed under the seat in front of you...
Not sure why but I still have this nostalgic desire to fly QF...

 

[medhead]

Why didnt you turn around and ask them to stop kicking ?????

I did. Only to be confronted with the accusation of deliberately reclining to annoy the person. A response to clearly supports my assumption that people do not like being reclined at.

 

[MEL_Traveller]

I try exercising fair bit of tolerance.

Maybe etiquette needs to be brought up on airline webpage or in email confirmation under heading "How to make your trip enjoyable..." or like.

Or, per-flight announcement, along with advice on storing bags appropriately (wheels to the back, smaller items under seat, et al), turning mobile devices off, DVT, etc.

I don't know - the majority of people seem to be able to manage the majority of the time. There is a small extreme minority that hate seat recliners - invariably they report the person in front of them 'slammed the seat back into me'. I suspect most of the time the person in front did no such thing, but just reclined their seat in the normal manner.

Seats recline - this adds comfort, and most airlines advertise this fact (although just on this I notice the QF economy pics now seem to show all the seats upright!) Passengers know this when they book tickets (that seats recline) and as I said, if you don't like it, use one of the options available to you to change it (even if work doesn't allow premium cabin travel you can always pay the additional yourself to upgrade or select a seat that will inconvenience you less if the person in front reclines...)

A lot of people also seem to get upset the person in front reclines (sorry 'SLAMS their seat back') and 'almost crushed/did crush/would have crushed/could have crushed my laptop'. Well, you know, the fact remains that seats recline, and the person with the lap top needs to take responsibility to make sure their laptop isn't going to get crushed. Seat recline can happen at any time, without warning. You gotta be prepared for that and accept some responsibility!

This anti-reclining thing (and sense of self-entitlement) happens even in business class. I was on a flight MEL-SYD and decided to recline (no I didn't check behind me - seats are designed to recline without interfering with the person behind you) and next thing i know there is a tap on my shoulder asking me (telling me) to put my seat upright because it was interfering with this guy's laptop. I suggested he slide his tray-table back towards him... to which he looked down at his stomach and said he couldn't. I said 'that's ok, I'll give you a moment to arrange your lap top so it's not in the way'.

If everyone reclined - problem solved. Just because someone doesn't feel they should recline (because it impinges on the person behind them) doesn't give rise to a legitimate expectation on their behalf that the person in front of them shouldn't.

However, that being said, last year I flew coach on a short 3 hour flight (chinese carrier, no status) and was lucky enough to score an exit row... out of consideration for the person behind me I didn't recline. But I wouldn't have expected the same treatment if I had been the row behind.

 

[boylero]

great topic, had just joined the line for priority security screening when a gentleman decided to jump from the normal security lane across to in front of me! I said nothing like waiting your turn hey? He said what, I said some of us pay for the privelige to use this lane you know, oh well he says. I was loading one up when the little elf on my shoulder said, oh oh, no you dont. Anyway turned out the gentleman got nabbed by the gunpowder dusters so justice prevailed

 

[auspal]

And I love Mark Twains quote on travel too.

 

[Heleigh]

Reminds me of a QF domestic J flight I was on. Boarded early, placed my small laptop bag in the locker above me. As the Y luggage compartments gradually filled up, the FA asked whose bag it was above me, where I was sitting. Yep, that is mine. She took my laptop bag out from the compartment above me and placed it under the seat in front of me.... popped a huge luggage for a passenger in Y in the compartment above me.
I was disappointed that despite being in row 2 of J (737), I had my bag stuffed in front of me at my legs... oh well what to do, board early, fly J, still get your only bag stuffed under the seat in front of you...
Not sure why but I still have this nostalgic desire to fly QF...

You do have the right to say no going by what happened on a SYD-BNE row 3 couple (J) FA removed bag and was going to put under feet pax said no leave it where it is - FA put back and made room elsewhere.

 

[Austman]

You do have the right to say no going by what happened on a SYD-BNE row 3 couple (J) FA removed bag and was going to put under feet pax said no leave it where it is - FA put back and made room elsewhere.

Pilot lands in court over false claim

I found the Qantas FA's statement re the overhead bins that the passenger ''paid for the seat, not the locker'' interesting.

 

[Heleigh]

Pilot lands in court over false claim

I found the Qantas FA's statement re the overhead bins that the passenger ''paid for the seat, not the locker'' interesting.

Good article

 

[Deleted member]

Glad that was dealt with amicably (isn't always the case sadly)... however I am curious, was there any rational reason for his bashing? Was he trying to operate an IFE screen, or just using your seat back as a punching bag?

I am not entirely certain, he wasn't watching a movie at that point. He just seemed to be moving a lot, using my seat back as a thing to push or pull depending on what he was doing , leaning forward, pushing back, who knows.

I have seen it quite often though, some pax seem unable to leave the seat alone, a constant need to push it , wether it be the IFE ( and it doesn't need to be constantly played with) or the tray, or the seat pocket.
I have even seen one person place their Knees hard up against the seat in front and push vigorously , in what seems to be some vain attempt to push the seat in front further way, and this can go on for hours. Quite strange.

 

[amaroo]

Recline or not Recline!

IMO stay within the rules (take off, meals, landing) and enjoy the very limited comforts that your seat allows!

Recline and live life to the flattest you can....

 

[Moody]

Recline or not Recline!

IMO stay within the rules (take off, meals, landing) and enjoy the very limited comforts that your seat allows!

Recline and live life to the flattest you can....

Because you should at all times assert your superiority over the person behind? Every DYKWIA is with you there!

 

[amaroo]

Because you should at all times assert your superiority over the person behind? Every DYKWIA is with you there!

Looks like Ryanair would be the perfect airline for you Free flight - would you stand?

 

[MEL_Traveller]

Because you should at all times assert your superiority over the person behind? Every DYKWIA is with you there!

this has nothing to do with asserting superiority!!

if anyone thinks reclining is because of some dog-eat-dog world where alpha types use the recline button solely as a bullying tool they need to relax a little, recline their seat, and take half a xanax!

 

[medhead]

this has nothing to do with asserting superiority!!

if anyone thinks reclining is because of some dog-eat-dog world where alpha types use the recline button solely as a bullying tool they need to relax a little, recline their seat, and take half a xanax!

And yet, I've had someone repeatedly kicking my seat because I reclined. When confronted they said that I deliberately reclined to get at them. I'm sorry but it is unlikely that someone would make such a suggestion as a one off. Either that person has serious issues, or they think they have been subjected to such bullying in the past - (or both I suppose)

 

[MEL_Traveller]

And yet, I've had someone repeatedly kicking my seat because I reclined. When confronted they said that I deliberately reclined to get at them. I'm sorry but it is unlikely that someone would make such a suggestion as a one off. Either that person has serious issues, or they think they have been subjected to such bullying in the past - (or both I suppose)

I'm not disputing they might think that way, but the answer to their inferiority issues - which are obviously much deeper than just the recline issue through which they manifest themselves - require some circuit breaker... a re-evaluation of their outlook on life, and a chill pill.

Instead of thinking the world is out to get them they should take positive steps to remedy the situation (select a better seat), or learn to accept that normal everyday people recline their seat for no other reason than to be comfortable, and not as part of some assertion of superiority.

There are some well-adjusted seat recliners out there that couldn't care less about asserting superiority (because we have none), nor could they care less whether anyone else reclining was trying to assert authority (in fact it would be the last reason I would think of). And apathy towards someone trying to assert unfounded superiority is the best counter measure!

I dunno - maybe it comes down to the whole control thing... or not having any (as the case may be). I have read some people feel uncomfortable on planes because they're 'not in control' - they'd rather be up there flying the thing. For me, I enjoy it for what it is... 1 hour, 2 hours or even 24 of just being able to sit back, relax, not have to worry about a thing in the world while I'm getting fed, watered, and not have to do the dishes!

 

[tuapekastar]

"I may disapprove of your reclining, but I defend till death your right to do so" - apologies to the original.

I'd prefer, in Y, on flights less than ~4 hours, that people did not recline, and I myself do not. But they have every right to do so (though not at meal times) so it is just 'c'est la vie' if it happens. The seats are provided with recline hence it can be used.