Dealing with poor manners

[Rebekkap]

I guess this is where we will fundamentally disagree. I've gotten onto a SYD-MEL daytime flight after 25 hours in Y from London. Splitting headache. No sleep. Felt like cough. BUT, I know reclining my seat will make the person's life behind me more uncomfortable, so I don't do it. Why should I make my life a little more comfortable at the direct expense of the person right behind me? Because I'm special or something?

When you're in a group, it's not all about you.

Exactly. You *can* pick your nose in public too - there's no law against it. But you're going to make other people feel sick, so you shouldn't.

 

[Moody]

So we are all agreed then? If you are not reclining to sleep or for medical reasons then you are an arrogant prat!

Of course arrogant prats don't have any empathy for other people so they see this as a badge of honour, and therefore reclining threads on AFF are a merry-go-round of pointlessness.

I've got a new one ..... I have never, ever, ever used the call button on any flight. That is not to say I haven't occasionally caught the eye of an FA when I needed assistance (e.g. - getting an arrogant prat to raise their seat during meal service), but the button - no.

So I view anyone who thinks that FA's are personal slaves with suspicion - particularly if they do it more than once. Am I being harsh???

 

[SeatBackForward]

So I view anyone who thinks that FA's are personal slaves with suspicion - particularly if they do it more than once. Am I being harsh???

Ahh fine observation! I remember my first experience on a work J trip to KUL. The guy sitting across the aisle pressed the call button to get the FA to come pick up the blanket that had falled off him and place it back onto his reclining body...........

 

[JohnCarrWestwood]

Ahh fine observation! I remember my first experience on a work J trip to KUL. The guy sitting across the aisle pressed the call button to get the FA to come pick up the blanket that had falled off him and place it back onto his reclining body...........

*sigh* There is always one but it seems there are more than one . Stop the sods from breeding

 

[freepyjamas]

So we are all agreed then? If you are not reclining to sleep or for medical reasons then you are an arrogant prat!

I wouldn't say arrogant prat, necessarily. But if you make the decision to improve your own comfort at the direct expense of someone else's comfort, what terminology is most appropriate? Selfish? Self-centred? Not sure.

 

[mannej]

Not on a 744, no.

Don't you mean a 734?

From what I can gather, the front row of the 747's all have the trays in the arm rest.

 

[Rebekkap]

Don't you mean a 734?

From what I can gather, the front row of the 747's all have the trays in the arm rest.

Yes I do - long week, sorry!

 

[auspal]

I guess this is where we will fundamentally disagree. I've gotten onto a SYD-MEL daytime flight after 25 hours in Y from London. Splitting headache. No sleep. Felt like cough. BUT, I know reclining my seat will make the person's life behind me more uncomfortable, so I don't do it. Why should I make my life a little more comfortable at the direct expense of the person right behind me? Because I'm special or something?

When you're in a group, it's not all about you.

Doesnt this work both ways?

 

[Rebekkap]

Doesnt this work both ways?

Yes - we also look after the people behind us, by not reclining.

 

[juddles]

..... I have never, ever, ever used the call button on any flight. That is not to say I haven't occasionally caught the eye of an FA when I needed assistance (e.g. - getting an arrogant prat to raise their seat during meal service), but the button - no.

So I view anyone who thinks that FA's are personal slaves with suspicion - particularly if they do it more than once. Am I being harsh???

Maybe think of it from the other end: if you were a flight attendant in charge of a cabin area of 40+ odd people, on a long haul flight at night, wouldnt it be easier to respond to clear ¨I need something¨call button activations rather than have to spend every single minute trawling the cabin in the darkness to descipher if someone was trying to make eye contact with you?

 

[medhead]

I guess this is where we will fundamentally disagree. I've gotten onto a SYD-MEL daytime flight after 25 hours in Y from London. Splitting headache. No sleep. Felt like cough. BUT, I know reclining my seat will make the person's life behind me more uncomfortable, so I don't do it. Why should I make my life a little more comfortable at the direct expense of the person right behind me? Because I'm special or something?

When you're in a group, it's not all about you.

This is my standard approach to reclining. Only broke this rule once when the person behind me seemed to constant kick, tap and generally be annoying. I was sick and very tired but it was just my usual SYD-ADL flight. Anyway about 40minute from landing I just thought, stuff it. Reclined and tried to sleep. They just starting kicking constantly with an even rhythm. Bang bang bang bang bang bang bang.....

I tired being considerate and it didn't work, I had no consideration in return. Then when I finally reclined, suddenly I was the evil. Some people just have no idea.


Sent from the Throne

 

[freepyjamas]

Doesnt this work both ways?

I don't think so, no.

I know what you're getting at (by me thinking that I'm inconveniencing the person behind me by reclining my seat, the person behind me is actually inconveniencing me by setting the expectation that I shouldn't recline my seat... therefore I suffer with my headache as a result)

But I think that rationalisation is spurious.

Anyway, it's just a personal code of mine. The world is full of people who assume their needs are somehow greater than those around them. So they'll cut in traffic, push back their seat, barge in ahead, take three of something when the SOP is one... etc, etc.

I feel bad inconveniencing others at my expense. That's just me.

I know others don't share that outlook. Screw it... if they didn't want me to put the seat back, they shouldn't have put a recline button on it. If you didn't want me to cut in, you should've been quicker. If they didn't want us to hog the (whatever) they should put a sign on it.

Our society has become a selfish one, where you're a bit of an idiot if you don't look after No.1 at other's expense. Don't like that, never will.

 

[Moody]

Maybe think of it from the other end: if you were a flight attendant in charge of a cabin area of 40+ odd people, on a long haul flight at night, wouldnt it be easier to respond to clear ¨I need something¨call button activations rather than have to spend every single minute trawling the cabin in the darkness to descipher if someone was trying to make eye contact with you?

Errr.... not sure what airlines you fly, but the ones I know rarely have crew "trawling" the aisles after dark. I used the term "caught the eye" because when an arrogant prat has reclined into me or a fellow-traveller it is better that they don't know who has called them out - otherwise they will just do it again the second the trays are gone out of little-minded spite. So I find it best just to raise an eyebrow when receiving my meal and nod to the row ahead of me. Works every time.

 

[auspal]

And unfortunately for some , nothing ever works two ways, it is "their way or the highway"

I don't think so, no.

I know what you're getting at (by me thinking that I'm inconveniencing the person behind me by reclining my seat, the person behind me is actually inconveniencing me by setting the expectation that I shouldn't recline my seat... therefore I suffer with my headache as a result)

But I think that rationalisation is spurious.

Anyway, it's just a personal code of mine. The world is full of people who assume their needs are somehow greater than those around them. So they'll cut in traffic, push back their seat, barge in ahead, take three of something when the SOP is one... etc, etc.

I feel bad inconveniencing others at my expense. That's just me.

I know others don't share that outlook. Screw it... if they didn't want me to put the seat back, they shouldn't have put a recline button on it. If you didn't want me to cut in, you should've been quicker. If they didn't want us to hog the (whatever) they should put a sign on it.

Our society has become a selfish one, where you're a bit of an idiot if you don't look after No.1 at other's expense. Don't like that, never will.

 

[Deleted member]

I dont have a problem with seats being reclined at any time, except for take-off, meals and landing. We have flown from Sydney to Brisbane at the end of a 30 hour overseas journey and been very tired. Not everyone gets on the plane as fresh as a daisy. I can remember being seated next to two sisters on a flight from Brisbane to LA. I was seated next to the window. When I stood to go to the ladies, they just moved their legs so I had to clamber over them. A few hours later, I politely asked them if they would mind standing. It seemed to be a huge problem for them.

I have to say I don't get their problem, I flew J to AKL from BNE and was on the aisle. Twice during the flight I stood to allow window pax to exit and attend the WC. The stretch did me good I have to say.

 

[Deleted member]

recently on a DJ flight I had placed my briefcase in the locker above my seat. a guy came along, one of the last to get on, and started to move the bags to a completely different locker (as is remove them to make room for his bag, a roller bag). when he got to mine I mentioned that he should not be moving that or touching my bag. he instantly started up and I suggested that he leave everyone else's property alone and get on earlier in future. I then suggested that he find a space elsewhere that was not above his row (we were in row 5). by now the FA in on the 'scene' and he is saying to her that I seem to think it's my right to have my bag above me. She let this guy know that he would need to locate his bag somewhere else.

you've got to call people on this sort of stuff.

Flew from BNE-AKL on Thursday. The couple in 3d &f brought a fair amount of carry on, and proceeded to use the O/H above my seat as well as their own, I quickly readjusted the storage and enlisted an FA to assist , which headed off any potential confrontation , and the FA then looked at their pathetic attempt at putting bags away and fitted everything in its proper place. Sometimes lazy and thoughtless is he best way to describe these pax

 

[Wainza 1]

The last time this happened to me I just put my fore finger to my lips and looked at them with my eyebrows arched, then put on my headphones and listened to music on my ipod . I remember one passenger flying from LAX to JFK kept tapping me on the shoulder complaining about everything from the seat to the food. after 5 mins I quietly and politely told him that if he touched me again I would have him charged with assault. Needless to say he shut up and that was the last time I flew in Y

 

[bhazelbrown]

I cannot agree with you! It's not selfish or selfless that's required! You've just made a whole bunch of assumptions about what other ppl want ("the person behind me is actually inconveniencing me by setting the expectation that I shouldn't recline my seat... "). Personally I've never *assumed* what the pax around me may want from me. The seat has a recline button, I am free to use it, the seats around me have recline buttons as well. Everyone is free to use it, except during meals and take-offs/landings.

It's magical thinking if you think that you know what other ppl consider to be reasonable or unreasonable behaviour ("I feel bad inconveniencing others at my expense"). IMO it causes horrible judge/victim passive-aggressive attitudes and behaviour (" therefore I suffer with my headache as a result"). I wouldn't have the slightest problem if you wanted to recline your seat in front of mine no matter the length of the flight, and if you were concerned that you might cause me an issue, how about you ask me? We can cooperate.

It's not a matter of selfishness, and it doesn't cause dangerous driving or any of the other societal ills you mentioned. Making assumptions about other's expectations, and not asking, is what is dangerous and silly.

 

[medhead]

Every time i get on an aircraft I pray the person in front of me does not recline. Theast time I reclined my seat was forcefully and repeatedly kicked. This makes out reasonable for me to assume a person behind me does not want me to recline my seat. So I don't recline out of consideration for that other person. (knowing that I hating recliners). So it is very easy to understand how people can know what other people expect, simply by reference to our own expectations.


Sent from the Throne

 

[Deleted member]

Some time ago, I was traveling in Y long haul, the pax in the seat behind me was making a habit ( from the moment he sat down ) of bashing the back of my seat, this was not going to be a lot of fun for me over the next 12 hours or so, so I immediately reclined my seat as far as it would go. After a few minutes he asked if I would please put it back up , I said sure no worries , but only if you stop bashing the back of my seat, ( big smile) he looked at me for two seconds , and then said OK. We both had a much happier trip ,