Nightwatchman said:
Whats the deal with the Chairman's Lounge?
The Chairmans Lounge eh? Well son it's like this.....
Remember the first thing you noticed about Qantas? As a little kid even well before you got near the plane for that 1st flight? Yes - EVERYTHING at Qantas is in tiers. Remember lining up in the long economy queue and shuffling forward bit by bit whilst watching the smartly dressed businessmen get quickly processed by a smiling attendant in Business / First class? Then see them stroll off into a doorway marked 'Qantas Club' where no economy person dare to so much as peek? Then later emerge with that satisfied look....? Just to rub it in recall filing past those enormous lounge chairs in first and business class as you were hurried to the rear of the plane?
Perhaps it was a little later in life - after a few flights - that you first noticed it. You were way back in economy where the food is served last and at the lowest temperature, being attended by an aging dragon whilst a little further on two balding male attendants appeared to be fumbling over a bread roll whilst looking deeply into each others eyes and smiling at nothing. Yes, you dared to let your eyes stray past that curtain - are you even allowed to look through the gap? And woooahh! In business class there was no dragon in sight; only a sweet 18 year old thing with what seemed a special cut of uniform, beaming at each passanger she carefully served. It was at that time you finally got it - EVERYTHING at Qantas is in tiers!
Well son, the Chairmans Lounge is just the same. No common folk really know how many tiers exist within the Chairmans Lounge, but at the upper levels the word is if you need to ask the price you can't afford it. And the staff? Ah yes..... we are talking the supermodels here without a doubt; the creme de la creme of attendants! There are services such as QLAP (Qantas lap dance) and others whispered about, but no-one knows for sure, members being sworn to secrecy.
But despite all this, you should think it through well before you post your application and credit card details with unspecified amount. Why you ask? Well the Chairmans Lounge is the finest of places and has the most outstanding service with the best food and wine money can buy. But would you care to share it with the likes of cussing, sneering Paul Keating? Grouchy Rupert Murdoch? Geeky Bill Gates? Agressive Mark Latham? Thought not.....
PS: It's only a joke Qantas! Please don't delete my SC's..... or change my seating preference to toilet! Haven't you got a sense of humour.....? No....?