I don't see how this is all so complicated. And when and whose idea was it to have the vitriol introduced into the thread? I think some people also have to try and contend with the idea that not every unfortunate or negative situation necessitates that at least one person is at fault. It also means that one doesn't have to be at fault to oblige - in this case, we do it because we are human beings.
For what it's worth, I think I agree with most people here in that the decision to move is based on two main facets:
- A human / moral element, i.e. why the move, do you need to move, why should I move or an incomplete combination of those and others
- A comfort / needs or wants element, i.e. why I chose this seat, why I don't want to sit in their seat
For me, I find it hard not to be accommodating to someone with a genuine need, and sometimes that does extend to parents with an infant. I've only had one case so far of being swapped out due to this (see later in this post), but sometimes if I really don't mind even if the seat I get is worse than my seat I will oblige to swap. Yes,
it is not my fault that they didn't get themselves "organised" (if you will). (And maybe it isn't their fault either - as someone said, we often assume plainly that the person who is inconveniencing is always at fault and we have a canned reason for it.) But I choose to move anyway at times. Why do I do it "anyway"? Does that make me an idiot or a sucker?
I probably wouldn't swap seats if I'm in a good seat to just to accommodate a family of four to sit together. Having grown up and flown as a young lad in a family of four, there were times when it was either 3 of us (mum/dad plus us 2 kids) sitting together with the 1 in another spot, or we were split 2 and 2. Even a family of 3 I may not move. Family of 5 or more - forget it, unless it meant all the ankle biters (no parents) were sitting next to me and they were unruly (in which case I'll probably swap to get away from the noisy little ankle biters, 'cos I ain't gonna lose my patience and yell at them myself).
My "line" on swapping seats is that I won't swap into a middle seat, but there has been an exception, and probably can be others. Also, I see seat poaching as just plain wrong. Request for a seat swap, if you absolutely must after careful consideration and with a degree of courtesy. But don't just poach my seat and then use that as the seed to start negotiations (those who made a genuine mistake of misreading their BP and/or row number are excepted).
So here are my cases:
- US red-eye flight. A320 Y class. My seat is 5A (pretty lucky - these seats sometimes are "good choice" seats which are levied with a fee); mother and daughter (teenager) board with mother in 5B and daughter in 5F. Mother asks me to swap into 5F - no problem.
But that's pretty easy - probably all of you would have done that without thinking twice about it.
- FJ to Australia. 744 J class. Travelling with another person, we are seated in row 1. Leg room is huge in this row; I could lazily slouch all the way down in my seat and still not touch the front of the cabin. After take off before the meal, FA approaches me and asks if we want to swap out of row 1 to accommodate a couple who want to use the row for the bassinet. The couple was in row 5 but on this flight row 2 was free. So after checking with my seat mate, we obliged and moved back a row. Not as much leg room in row 2, but it really didn't bother me (still plenty of it!) We could've moved back to row 5 and still be just as good (and for you nuts on boarding and disembarking early, we would've been able to disembark earlier in row 5!)
Then again, there isn't such a thing as a bad premium seat, is there? (Well, perhaps there are...)
- QF 3 hr domestic flight. 738 Y class. I was in an F seat somewhere behind the window exit rows and there were two gentlemen next to me - I think they were on holiday. Their mate was in 10E - yes, a middle seat - and they asked if I could swap with him. After take off, I decided to oblige with their request. They couldn't thank me enough.
Was I stupid? I said I would never swap into a middle seat. But their offer of $50 was a little hard to pass up.
I've heard many stories from friends (both on and off the travel forums) of earnestly unreasonable requests for swaps, as well as stories of those who have to try and force a seat poacher out of their seat. In a lot of cases, sanity, common sense and bureaucracy prevails; in other cases, karma can prevail (e.g. had a few stories from friends where their seats have been poached, FAs can't convince the poacher to move, so friend is instead moved into the next best class of service, and the story often ends that the poacher ends up disgusted with the action and now feels "robbed" for some perverted reason).
Now the short answer to the OP:
Assuming no buttering up on your side of the story, then there was no reason for you to oblige to move except out of kindness.
However the reasons given do not suggest that the person who wanted your seat had any great reason to ask for it.
Actually, given that the OP was fairly benign in the whole context in the first post (i.e. the post just ended with, "I said no"), I thought this thread wouldn't get so long. Now had it ended with something like, "The man gave me death stares for the rest of the flight", or "He kept kicking the back of my seat for the rest of the flight," or "He yelled that I was extremely rude and insensitive," or even a personal comment from the OP, then I could think that it would seed a whole lot more in this thread. But there you go.
I should finally add that people will
always ask others to swap seats if they are seeking your seat and even if their seats are "unreasonable". Apart from some people not understanding what constitutes a more "unreasonable" seat, and the definition of a "reasonable" seat varies from person to person, you can blame this attitude on everyone in life that always offers the adage, "They can only say 'no'" (which I think is a ridiculous bit of advice).
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