Tips on Tipping

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Did you know you could be insulting by offering a tip in Japan?

I learned it first hand a few years ago. On my first trip to Japan, after a good meal in Kyoto I left a small tip, as I often do in OZ. Just when I was about to exit the restaurant, the waitress rushed to give me back the money. At first I thought she didn't understand it's a tip and I handed it back. She then smiled nervously but didn't accept it. Then I thought maybe I gave to little and added some more. It only made things worse as another waitress came and both urged me to put the money back into my wallet. This time they were not smiling. I was very confused, gave up and left. Only later that night, after googling "tipping in Japan" I realised what I did wrong ;)
 
I learned it first hand a few years ago. On my first trip to Japan, after a good meal in Kyoto I left a small tip, as I often do in OZ. Just when I was about to exit the restaurant, the waitress rushed to give me back the money. At first I thought she didn't understand it's a tip and I handed it back. She then smiled nervously but didn't accept it. Then I thought maybe I gave to little and added some more. It only made things worse as another waitress came and both urged me to put the money back into my wallet. This time they were not smiling. I was very confused, gave up and left. Only later that night, after googling "tipping in Japan" I realised what I did wrong ;)

It is quite interesting. I would imagine that in Japan what they make in the service industry would be similar to other countries whose staff gladly take the tips.
 
I find the following website fairly organised and, from what I can tell, satisfactorily accurate: Who To Tip: Tipping Around The World

I learned it first hand a few years ago. On my first trip to Japan, after a good meal in Kyoto I left a small tip, as I often do in OZ. Just when I was about to exit the restaurant, the waitress rushed to give me back the money. At first I thought she didn't understand it's a tip and I handed it back. She then smiled nervously but didn't accept it. Then I thought maybe I gave to little and added some more. It only made things worse as another waitress came and both urged me to put the money back into my wallet. This time they were not smiling. I was very confused, gave up and left. Only later that night, after googling "tipping in Japan" I realised what I did wrong ;)

Good service in Japan is taken as a standard in Japan. There is a difference between phenomenal service and good service, but the Japanese are cultured to be hospitable.

A "tip" offer in Japan is sometimes seen as a bribe, or an indication that someone needs to be "encouraged" or paid more in order to do a satisfactory job. Quite the opposite of the "intent" of tips in tip-heavy cultures. This is why it is perceived as rude. The "not smiling" staff at the end of your experience is likely because they had stopped trying to smile and perhaps exhibiting a disposition of personal guilt or shame. It is not inconceivable that if their employer saw them accepting a tip (unwittingly or otherwise), they could lose their job.


Having grown up in Australia (and especially as a child in an era where tipping was certainly not normal, unlike now where it's not necessarily normal but certainly a social discretionary trend), it's difficult to get one's head around tipping and the nuances of it. Even though I've been to the USA a handful of times now, I still feel like a fish out of water when I need to tip (as well as feeling a bit awkward as I try to find a way to break lots of $1 and $5 notes to tip with once I arrive in the USA). Not only that, but growing up in a non-tipping culture can make you very confused and defensive about what all this tipping business is about (why do we need to do it in the first place).

But as I say, when you go to another country, it's quite important to try and familiarise one's self with the social and cultural (and business, if necessary) norms.
 
I find the following website fairly organised and, from what I can tell, satisfactorily accurate: Who To Tip: Tipping Around The World



Good service in Japan is taken as a standard in Japan. There is a difference between phenomenal service and good service, but the Japanese are cultured to be hospitable.

A "tip" offer in Japan is sometimes seen as a bribe, or an indication that someone needs to be "encouraged" or paid more in order to do a satisfactory job. Quite the opposite of the "intent" of tips in tip-heavy cultures. This is why it is perceived as rude. The "not smiling" staff at the end of your experience is likely because they had stopped trying to smile and perhaps exhibiting a disposition of personal guilt or shame. It is not inconceivable that if their employer saw them accepting a tip (unwittingly or otherwise), they could lose their job.


Having grown up in Australia (and especially as a child in an era where tipping was certainly not normal, unlike now where it's not necessarily normal but certainly a social discretionary trend), it's difficult to get one's head around tipping and the nuances of it. Even though I've been to the USA a handful of times now, I still feel like a fish out of water when I need to tip (as well as feeling a bit awkward as I try to find a way to break lots of $1 and $5 notes to tip with once I arrive in the USA). Not only that, but growing up in a non-tipping culture can make you very confused and defensive about what all this tipping business is about (why do we need to do it in the first place).

But as I say, when you go to another country, it's quite important to try and familiarise one's self with the social and cultural (and business, if necessary) norms.

The only reason why tipping is required in the US is because the servers' hourly wage is a ridiculous $2-3,thus they rely on the tips to be able to feed themselves and put a roof on their heads. There are people who refuse to tip and blame it on the servers but they do not realize that changing the whole system by paying the servers more and get rid of the tips is not realistic. First, patrons will have a huge sticker shock when they will see prices on the menus increase by 15-20% to make up for getting rid of tips.
 
Some establishments add a 'gratuity' to the bill, which makes things even more confusing and awkward. Do I or don't I ? Who's getting the tip?
 
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Having grown up in Australia (and especially as a child in an era where tipping was certainly not normal, unlike now where it's not necessarily normal but certainly a social discretionary trend), it's difficult to get one's head around tipping and the nuances of it. Even though I've been to the USA a handful of times now, I still feel like a fish out of water when I need to tip (as well as feeling a bit awkward as I try to find a way to break lots of $1 and $5 notes to tip with once I arrive in the USA). Not only that, but growing up in a non-tipping culture can make you very confused and defensive about what all this tipping business is about (why do we need to do it in the first place).

But as I say, when you go to another country, it's quite important to try and familiarise one's self with the social and cultural (and business, if necessary) norms.

Having been to the USA and Canada dozens of times now, I'm still learning the ropes! In the USA you can't go wrong in just tipping everywhere. But I was amazed when in Canada last year I took some workmates out to lunch at a place where there was basic table service - but there was an actual waiter and he did provide 'service'. So I went to leave a tip - to be chastised by the locals saying, not to tip in 'these types of places'. :confused: (It was an order-at-the-counter and they bring the plate and drinks to you type of place.)

Some establishments add a 'gratuity' to the bill, which makes things even more confusing and awkward. Do I or don't I ? Who's getting the tip?

I always search for any 'gratuity included' wording on the menu before I go into a place. If its above 15% I move on. If its 15% (its never less :) ) then fine, I'll pay it in the bill but no more. I think its pretty well regulated that these included 'gratuities' go to the staff (not the house) and it may even be a bit more equitable as the tips would be spread more fairly / evenly (if you accept that its not for 'good service' but just an additional cost to the diner).

Watch out that the % gratuity is only put on what you ordered, not on the included sales tax.

And obviously watch that, as is getting more common, if there is an included % gratuity on the bill AND there's a space for tips on the bill as well! Now THAT really gets up my nose!

All that may sound a bit scrooge-ish, but is no different than most locals would regard things.
 
Some establishments add a 'gratuity' to the bill, which makes things even more confusing and awkward. Do I or don't I ? Who's getting the tip?

If it is in the US, you do not need to tip. Any tip you add is considered additional and definitely optional.

In theory, the waitstaff should be getting the tips, some places pool the tips and share them with all the staff. It is illegal for management to get its hand on the tips.
 
I remember getting the bill at the Cheesecake Factory in Honolulu and on the bottom, where the tip section is, it was written in both English & Japanese: "please choose one of the following options: 12%, 15%, 18%". I guess after experiencing some bad tipping in the past, the restaurant decided not to leave any room for error ;)
 
Just remember that in the USA you tip according to service.If you get lousy service your tip can be low.If bad enough the tip is 1 cent which is meant to be an insult.Prepare to justify your decision though.I have previously mentioned before my experience in a Chinese restaurant in NYC.I gave my reasons in a loud voice and many lined up to come in left.The manager did not challenge mefurther.

Also just researching hotels in the Bahamas.Looking at the reviews most mention at checkout getting a $30-$50 maid gratuity being added to the bill and told it is the law in the Bahamas.Certainly wont be tipping there.
 
If it is in the US, you do not need to tip. Any tip you add is considered additional and definitely optional.

Try telling that to most of the room service waiters I've met. Even with 18% added, they will still stand there with their hand out!
 
Vincent Antonelli in My Blue Heaven " it's not tipping I believe in, it's over tipping "
 
Don't forget housekeepers...for a multi-night stay, I tip after the first night. $2-$3 goes a long way to ensure clean room and additional guest supplies if I want.
 
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My tip on tipping

"Tips are discretionary"....

Although not in Japan it seems, where it is actually an insult. :o

Might be best to resist the temptation to tip the Japanese.
 
I did a post grad degree in Canada in 1990. During 'induction week', I went to the pub with new mates and bought a round of Upper Canada Lager [Thinks wistfully of salad days....]. I was carefully counting out change I had to the exact amount (used to doing such in Oz), when the guy behind me cracked up laughing. I paid for the beers, turned round and gave them to the mates. I asked the laughing guy what was so funny.

"If you could see the expression on the bar maid's face as you counted out exact change, you wouldn't be standing here now. Turn around."

Sure enough, I was still getting a look that could kill.

Knowing that the 'Grad Pub' would be my second home for the next 2 years, I quickly forked out a generous tip.

Oh, and if anyone here recognizes the expression 'Oil thigh', let me know ;) Cha-gheill!
 
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... Knowing that the 'Grad Pub' would be my second home for the next 2 years, I quickly forked out a generous tip.


Yep smart move. There are many who "just don't get it" and maybe never will. :(

Once you've travelled through North America, you quickly pick it up.
 
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