What are your pet annoyances on Qantas?

[Albert_Thurgood]

Hi Guys,

Long time reader of AFF, seldom poster... first-time thread maker, so be gentle with me. And if this is not the right forum, mods please move.

The purpose of this thread is not for real complaints about Qantas, but for - hopefully - amusing takes on what dumb/annoying things you have noticed travelling Qantas.

My pet peeves are:

1) Neil Perry's reviews in the Qantas magazine. It's always a rave about some exclusive restaurant that he has just visited but which us mere mortals would not have a hope of getting into. Worse, he got there probably with a complimentary first class flight.

What I would like to see from Neil is a review of the "food" that he is credited as dishing up to the rest of us. It would be great if he had to fly in economy for a month to make this review comprehensive.

It may make the offerings better for us mere mortals in future!

2) The "safety" video. Is anyone else annoyed by that work experience student pretending to be a Qantas FA? I am sure her parents would be proud of her, but her grammar and diction are terrible!

Whenever she talks about the location "and juice" (sic) of the safety jacket, I wonder why they don't dry them out before putting them on the planes.

3) Also on the safety videos: the advice to "hold onto your feet and stop them moving forward" as the plane crashes is the most amazingly gratuitous of all advice I have ever seen.

Maybe Alan Joyce should divert a few bucks from his million dollar payouts to get some common cents (see what I did there?) into the airline.

OK, I feel better now - over to you!

 

[RooFlyer]

Useful thread

My pet peeves are:

* Inconsistency. Its all very well to fork out more to fly Qantas, but it would be nice to have some greater assurance that the value will be there;

* Stinginess with Award seats;

* Still charging for expensive fuel in base fares when fuel costs have dropped dramatically;

* Web page - we joke that its but together by work experience kids but it borders on unprofessional when they tinker and release broken links, mis-spellings etc;

* The airline's infatuation with 'celebrities' - from that fashionable cook, to the models and other glitterati that seem to be compulsory at any QF 'event'.


ps your peeve re the safety videos may or may not be alleviated by the new one(s), coming soon

 

[Steady]

Inconsistentcy and the taxes on award flights are mine

 

[TonyHancock]

Fred Perry inspired food.

The belief that devaluing the FF program can be portrayed as improving it with a bit of marketing claptrap.

Simpler & Fairer. (Although that probably falls under marketing claptrap)

The inability to lock international upgrades in at the time of booking

mmmmm that is actually quite a short list. I suspect my BA one probably a bit longer.

 

[marki]

You guys have all said it all, the pee and pooping not in your class toilet. How some think that Business end toilet is fair game for all to use. Also the Golding of Platinum benefits aka the new Gold standard being born from the platinum level where practically speaking there is no difference thanks to all that fairer simpler nonsense.

Inconsistentcy and the taxes on award flights are mine

 

[k_sheep]

What I would like to see from Neil is a review of the "food" that he is credited as dishing up to the rest of us. It would be great if he had to fly in economy for a month to make this review comprehensive.

Now that I would like to see!

 

[sausagefingers]

You guys have all said it all, the pee and pooping not in your class toilet. How some think that Business end toilet is fair game for all to use. Also the Golding of Platinum benefits aka the new Gold.

Until I joined this forum, I had no idea people would actually have the nerve to use the business class toilet. I've never flown business, and most likely won't for some time, but it has NEVER crossed my mind.

My Peeves, Taxes on reward flights is totally ridiculous.

 

[Pleb Status]

Anything with the word 'priority' in it is a problem on QF.

Priority boarding and priority baggage to name two.

 

[njba]

* Inconsistency. Its all very well to fork out more to fly Qantas, but it would be nice to have some greater assurance that the value will be there;

Yes! It's only a lack of consistency that stops Qantas from cementing its position as the world's best airline.

And maybe their domestic 737 fleet. I'd really rather not.

 

[opusman]

I've never flown business, and most likely won't for some time, but it has NEVER crossed my mind.

A 747 or 380 is different since the areas are well segregated; however on a 737 transgressions from the lower classes are very common.

 

[UP4014]

I can deal with the many faults of QF, and indeed most airlines.

The one thing I cannot deal with is the poor response to complaints and the ongoing failure of QF to deal with the BS they send out as a poor excuse for customer service. I include Red Roo in that.

Sure they (Red Roo and regular customer service, which is all Red Roo is doing, fixing customer service problems which slipped through) can fix some missing points, but the big issues and the anon is a corporate PR failure.

Matt

 

[russ]

The Syd FLounge crockery.

What the %^&* was anyone thinking when they designed crockery where the base is <5cm in diameter? If you try to cut anything with force, the plate tips over. You need to move your food to the middle of the plate before cutting it. Aargh!

The Syd FLounge lighting.

What the %^&* was anyone thinking when they put bright lamps at eye level? As I walk around, there are bloody great lights shining right into my eyes.

Luckily they have foot switches, so I turn them off.

The SYD FLounge black seats.

What the %^&* was anyone thinking when they designed a seat where you couldn't lean against the backrest? Try it for yourself! Go go a black seat (usually facing the window), sit down and lean back. Whee... the whole thing reclines. I don't want to recline! I just want to sit in a seat and lean back.

If you want to lean back, you need to find a white seat, but (a) they don't have headrests, and (b) they aren't looking out the windows.

Luckily there are a few white seats up near the spa that face the windows. But they have a bloody great standard lamp shining right in your eyes...

 

[marki]

A 747 or 380 is different since the areas are well segregated; however on a 737 transgressions from the lower classes are very common.

Doesn't stop the riffraff in a 747 and A380 .... but does make it more challenging.:mrgreen:

 

[russ]

The SYD FLounge menu.

Where the %^&* are the NPPPs?

Is it a crime to order off the kids' menu?

The SYD FLounge spa door.

Who the %^&* made that door so noisy? If you sit near there (being the only place with decent seats facing the window) it's like a crowd cheering every time someone walks through the door.

Aargh!

B737s across the dutch.

What %^&* thought it was a good idea to fly 737s internationally? Isn't there a Geneva Convention against that?

I'd love to fly QF across the dutch but I'll be %^&* if I am going to set foot in a B737 unless on a CIA rendition flight.

The QF website.

Who the %^&* designed the QF website to keep defaulting to Economy?

Dear QF:

1. I am not ...
2. I do not want to fly Economy
3. If I change my dates, see rules 1-2

WP riff-raff in premium lounges.

Who the %^&* decided to let all the WP riff-raff enter the premium lounges? They take up the few seats that don't fall backwards when you sit in them!

If passengers want to enter the First Class lounge, make them buy a ticket!

(Says he who is buying F trans-Tasman tickets on sale!)

Fruit in the SYD Flounge

Who the %^&* keeps putting fruit in the SYD FLounge? Nobody eats it. Where are the Jaffas?

The SYD Int J Lounge.

What purpose does this serve? It is solely to let people experience the ambience of the Cessnock RSL Club? Or is there some other purpose?

Destroy it, I say! Send the occupants to McDonald's or somewhere.

 

[marki]

The SYD FLounge menu.

Where the %^&* are the NPPPs?

Is it a crime to order off the kids' menu?

NPPPs? sorry took the bait have to ask

 

[russ]

NPPPs? sorry took the bait have to ask

Niel Perry Party Pies

Staple food of frequent fliers some years ago

 

[medhead]

Now a comment about holding your feet. I recall an air crash show many years ago that clearly outlined why it is very important to make sure your feet do not go under the seat in front if you don't want to die. Might think it is gratuitous, but it is important to make sure people remember to hold their legs.

My peeve - The snack!

 

[MEL_Traveller]

3) Also on the safety videos: the advice to "hold onto your feet and stop them moving forward" as the plane crashes is the most amazingly gratuitous of all advice I have ever seen.

This is actually sound advice and you should try to follow the instructions you are given on how to achieve this. The issue was highlighted by the Kegworth crash:

Attention was devoted also to seat design, with the protection of passengers inthe brace position or with airbags discussed, and the implications on seat design of the factthat 69 passengers suffered lower limb injuries – mostly incurred through impact with theseat in front - as their legs flayed in the sudden deceleration.

http://www.jbollerhead.webspace.virginmedia.com/ewExternalFiles/131210 Kegworth Accident.pdf

It may not be that you can physically hold your legs with your arms or hands (depending on the brace position for your seat), but you can tuck them slightly backwards under your seat IIRC.

 

[Isochronous]

FAs on international flights not cleaning the toilets frequently enough.

 

[opusman]

FAs on international flights not cleaning the toilets frequently enough.

The EK model does work well I have to admit. Not quite the glamorous career most Aussie hosties were expecting I expect.