The totally off-topic thread

[Pushka]

People make similar life choices all the time, but the biggest mistake is not to reconcile (from both sides) before departure into the never never.
Who knows she may have carried that guilt all her life but could not see a way through. Maybe she tried and the kids were too estranged for that to be possible.
Very sad

It is I agree. But maybe there were no words that reconciled her actions as far as the children were concerned. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t really cut it. It’s interesting. The other day someone cut in front of MrP with their luggage banging into his ankle badly. It hurt. The guy said sorry. MrP was still in pain and grimacing and the guy said ‘I said, I was sorry’. I’m not quite sure how saying sorry would mean it suddenly stopped hurting.

 

[Quickstatus]

It is I agree. But maybe there were no words that reconciled her actions as far as the children were concerned. ‘Sorry’ doesn’t really cut it. It’s interesting. The other day someone cut in front of MrP with their luggage banging into his ankle badly. It hurt. The guy said sorry. MrP was still in pain and grimacing and the guy said ‘I said, I was sorry’. I’m not quite sure how saying sorry would mean it suddenly stopped hurting.

Those circumstances just demonstrate that some people lack emotional intelligence. I don't mean they are stupid in any way, it is just the way they have developed and not necessarily their fault if they cant recognise and respond to emotions and/or handle interpersonal interactions.

The more I age the more I realise people don't necessarily respond in a way that I expect for the circumstances.

 

[Cossie]

Hmmmmm,

 

[Denali]

People make similar life choices all the time, but the biggest mistake is not to reconcile (from both sides) before departure into the never never.
Who knows she may have carried that guilt all her life but could not see a way through. Maybe she tried and the kids were too estranged for that to be possible.
Very sad

Why the need to reconcile at all?

Some people are too toxic to allow into your life. Some relationships do not bring any good into your life and you shouldn't expose yourself to them just because of the preconceived notion of "familyyyy". If your upbringing is reasonably normal and healthy, you don't know what it's like to have to estranged from a parent.

Forgiveness isn't for the person who abandoned (or damaged, hurt ect) her children and who knows what else she did, to result in that obit. Forgiveness is for the injured party.

 

[JohnK]

Agreed. We need to work out what other vaccines are needed. Tetanus, measles, mumps etc.

I know about travel vaccines. I probably need the Tetanus, Diptheria, Pertussis vaccine as the last one was more than 10 years ago. Rabies vaccine may also be a good idea.

Then we have all the viruses my daughter may end up getting. We're not sure which of these I had as a child.

 

[JessicaTam]

"So how long will it take to get from here (DT BKK) to the airport?" I asked.
"About 40 minutes" was the response, before the receptionist considered her answer and added "unless you don't want the driver to go fast, in which case it will be about an hour". Which I took to mean sticking to the speed limit.

He did it in 20.

 

[AisleSeat]

A neighbour 3 doors down had their car stolen last night. Same make and model as mine. I didn't think newer cars could be stolen without the key?

 

[Quickstatus]

Friend in Thredbo couple of years ago got their cars stolen. Thieves climbed through their balcony and stole their keys and took all 3 cars.
Newer cars have an immobiliser built in so without a key cant flip a door lock as there arent any and then cant start car.

Maybe they found his key

 

[AisleSeat]

Newer cars have an immobiliser built in so without a key cant flip a door lock as there arent any and then cant start car. Maybe they found his key

That's what I was thinking

 

[Quickstatus]

All new cars since 2001 have a factory fitted immobiliser. So many/most? cars on the road these days have one. The car key or the fob has an RFID chip built into it that tells immobiliser that the key is correct.

So even if a key is copied while it would unlock the door, the engine wont start because the RFID chip is not present.

 

[Denali]

I thought new keys had computer chip that talked to the engine to start - mine does. My old car, 20yrs old, lost its computer chip when it was only a few weeks old and it took the dealer days to figure out there was nothing wrong with the car.

This morning I started the car and left it running for a few mins while I went back inside to gather my things - nervous while I do it but not a lot of foot traffic to be an opportunist either.

 

[Quickstatus]

Why the need to reconcile at all?

Some people are too toxic to allow into your life. Some relationships do not bring any good into your life and you shouldn't expose yourself to them just because of the preconceived notion of "familyyyy". If your upbringing is reasonably normal and healthy, you don't know what it's like to have to estranged from a parent.

Forgiveness isn't for the person who abandoned (or damaged, hurt ect) her children and who knows what else she did, to result in that obit. Forgiveness is for the injured party.

Understand all that but carrying a grudge isnt the best way to live a life.
Forgiveness is not as black and white as you put it. As a result of the abandonment the kids now hold a massive grudge. Their mother may have tried to ask for forgiveness but the forgiveness was too difficult for the kids and so they hold a grudge now for the rest of their lives which can never be reconciled however they rationalise it. Sad thing is if they ever regret it its too late.

 

[Denali]

Understand all that but carrying a grudge isnt the best way to live a life.
Forgiveness is not as black and white as you put it. As a result of the abandonment the kids now hold a massive grudge. Their mother may have tried to ask for forgiveness but the forgiveness was too difficult for the kids and so they hold a grudge now for the rest of their lives which can never be reconciled however they rationalise it. Sad thing is if they ever regret it its too late.

Often its not carrying a grudge, its "I nothing you".

They dont think about them, miss them, think about revenge or anything like that except for the anxiety when the phone beeps and you think, 'God, I hope its not [insert name] again'.. The person is just living their lives but then the mum died and society puts expectations on a person to react or feel in a certain way. Because, "its your mum". This (the obit) is the last kick of dirt in the coffin before they head out the door to continue living their lives. No regrets, just keep moving forward as they have been for decades.

Again. Unless you have lived or survived a dysfunctional or toxic family, most dont understand why you cant forgive and forget and just accept the person/mum/whoever because "its famillyyyyyy".

 

[Quickstatus]

Yes because of the blood ties, its difficult to divorce oneself from another family member.
Some have actually legally divorces themselves from their parents because of irrreconcilable differences.

 

[Denali]

When you think your day couldnt get any worse: Poo jogger revealed as corporate executive Andrew Macintosh

Mr Macintosh’s LinkedIn profile, which has since been taken down, reveals he is a national quality manager for the retirement village property and investment group giant, Aveo. He is also on a Brisbane City Council advisory board which makes decisions about the Queensland capital’s planning, building and urban renewal issues.

 

[JohnK]

"So how long will it take to get from here (DT BKK) to the airport?" I asked.
"About 40 minutes" was the response, before the receptionist considered her answer and added "unless you don't want the driver to go fast, in which case it will be about an hour". Which I took to mean sticking to the speed limit.

He did it in 20.

And you're still alive to tell the story!

 

[drron]

People make similar life choices all the time, but the biggest mistake is not to reconcile (from both sides) before departure into the never never.
Who knows she may have carried that guilt all her life but could not see a way through. Maybe she tried and the kids were too estranged for that to be possible.
Very sad

It is definitely not as easy as that.I did not have a great relationship with my father but about 3 years before his death we reconciled and I understood where he was coming from.I have been a much happier person since.
One of my sisters had reconciled earlier with him.However the rest of the family have excluded us for getting along with him.Neither of us will apologise for reconciling with him so we are no longer part of the extended family.

 

[Gold60]

i suspect he is having a coughpy day ..... a bit down in the dumps, perhaps ?? ..............

When you think your day couldnt get any worse: Poo jogger revealed as corporate executive Andrew Macintosh

Mr Macintosh’s LinkedIn profile, which has since been taken down, reveals he is a national quality manager for the retirement village property and investment group giant, Aveo. He is also on a Brisbane City Council advisory board which makes decisions about the Queensland capital’s planning, building and urban renewal issues.

 

[JohnK]

People make similar life choices all the time, but the biggest mistake is not to reconcile (from both sides) before departure into the never never.
Who knows she may have carried that guilt all her life but could not see a way through. Maybe she tried and the kids were too estranged for that to be possible.
Very sad

We all make mistakes. And some mistakes are more serious than other mistakes.

It is OK to hold a grudge. There was no need for that last paragraph in the obituary. Especially after 56 years.

 

[Quickstatus]

It is definitely not as easy as that.I did not have a great relationship with my father but about 3 years before his death we reconciled and I understood where he was coming from.I have been a much happier person since.
One of my sisters had reconciled earlier with him.However the rest of the family have excluded us for getting along with him.Neither of us will apologise for reconciling with him so we are no longer part of the extended family.

Yes when it comes to families nothing is easy when there is estrangement.