The introverts go to Noumea

[toowongman]

Many years ago (2017) the wife and I took the typical Carnival cruise and we had the typical day stop at Noumea. After the little train drive around the city, followed by a supermarket picnic we thought it would be a fun and tasty place in which to spend more time. We planned for 2018, had to cancel. 2019 had to cancel. 2020 ... you get the drift. This gave me plenty of time to learn French using some "Michel Thomas" CDs I had been given. Finally in 2022 things looked up and we escaped in September. Sorry this report is a bit late, busy as usual.

Sat 24th September. We flew Brisbane to Noumea on QF89. It was the first day of the school holidays and I was prepared for the terminal to resemble the leaving of Saigon, but upon arrival it was pretty much dead. Thankfully QF kept up WP for the wife, so we could checkin with zero hassles and head into the lounge. We arrived in the lounge around 10am from memory, it was very quiet.




In a previous life I was tied into VA so only ever used the SQ lounge. I had dialled my expectations to very low and was still a little disappointed. That's OK, such is life.



Once QF51 to Singapore had left, about twenty of us had the lounge as our private nap area. The staff seemed to have vanished except for the bartender. I thought I would celebrate the morning with one glass of champagne. It was some undescribeable sparkling for $10 a throw at Dan's, so let it alone.

Onwards and upwards. 1130h and time for boarding. Typical QF 737, we went for Y due to the short flight duration, and platinum shadow. For under two hours, a flight is a flight and all went well.



What did amuse me greatly was the announcement that the forward bathroom was for J only, then I cough you not after twenty seconds someone from economy ran through and took care of business. VA isn't perfect, however they could defend business class on every flight.

We arrived about twenty minutes early, and going through the airport was a breeze, albeit a very warm one. All the staff were very friendly and looked happy to see us. Was amusing to see many people crush the tiny arrivals duty free store for cigarettes.

After collecting the bags it was off to Hertz to collect our little French car, we booked a Citroen C3 and it was ready for us. Everyone at Hertz spoke perfect English, so easily done. Beware, you don't get the C3 as imported into Australia with all the gadgets, this is the taxi-pack version. No safety bings or bongs or GPS, etc. However it was still automatic, the air-conditioning worked very well, and the suspension was quite good even when I tried some nasty potholes. It could cruise along the motorway at 110 and we always felt safe inside it.








Off to our airbnb which was the granny flat of a large house in Rue de l'Ecuyère, Mont-Dore. Plenty of air-conditioning, our own pool, full-stocked kitchen etc. Great bed. In which we spent the rest of the day resting (it has been a busy month).




The next day we first found a bakery that was open (easily done) and had some nice pastries:




Then drove around the typical landmarks, including Ouen Toro

New Caledonia Tourism : The official website for tourism in New Caledonia

New Caledonia, Pacific at heart – Discover all the facets of the archipelago for an unforgettable stay in Oceania

www.newcaledonia.travel

The military has some sort of radar/radio base up there as well, so no photos or drones:



Then we spent the rest of the day just cruising around getting our bearings, and checked out a few supermarkets. (We met in the FMCG world, so supermarkets, hypermarkets, electronics retailers, etc., are tourist attractions for us).

Day 3. One of my goals for the trip was to swim in the Dumbea river, at the Trou aux Nurses.

New Caledonia Tourism : The official website for tourism in New Caledonia

New Caledonia, Pacific at heart – Discover all the facets of the archipelago for an unforgettable stay in Oceania

www.newcaledonia.travel

This is an easily-approachable riverbank that was used by the nurses during World War II to have a swim and relax, something we could also enjoy. The photos don't do it any justice:




We took a picnic and books here, and stayed for about three hours. Being a weekday only a few local ruffians dropped in around lunchtime, smoked their stuff and took off. The water is clear, and is too deep in some parts for me to swim to the bottom. After a few minutes the fish come and investigate, some sort of trout by the look of them. We've already bought full-face masks for the next visit.

More to follow.

 

[toowongman]

On the way home from the river we stopped in at another supermarket, then found a small patisserie to examine:



Then a light dinner back at the house:



The next day I wanted to check out the CBD area. I enjoy architecture of various types and was curious about what the French decided to gift the area in the 20th century. We had poke in the main Place des Cocotiers park for brunch:



Poke seemed to be the fad at the moment, plenty of places had this on their menu. Then we cris-crossed the park and the surrounding area, checking out the shops, banks, government buildings and so on. It was a mix of art-deco, brutalist, colonial-style and budget-constrained designs with the odd sprinkling of gems including churches and so on.













I spotted this vintage lift in an older building, but the door to the lobby was locked. I dearly wanted to check it out however the Mrs didn't want me buzzing random units to see who would answer. Next time.


After a few hours wandering, it was time to head back to our favourite supermarket (Geant Hypermarche) for refreshment and dinner needs. This was the best out of all of them in town, if you're driving head to 7 Rue Henry Schmidt, Nouméa 98800.

A pleasant evening of cooling off in the pool, eating way too much and watching "Friends" in French before bedtime.

 

[toowongman]

Ok, Wednesday. I booked a trip out to Amedee Island, to visit the lighthouse and swim with the turtles. It is a small island, but a nice day.

Home - Amedee Island

amedeeisland.com

There is a vintage lighthouse from the 1800s, and you can walk up to the top. It was constructed in France, disassembled, shipped out and assembled on the island. Amazing.





Although I've been working on my fitness, only one eye works and that frigs up my balance somewhat, so couldn't venture up to the top. You need to pay 300-odd francs to visit the lighthouse, it isn't included in the day trip cost. More on this in a moment.

The beach on the island is lovely, and I worked up an appetite swimming about and spotted tropical fish and turtles.



You really need swimming shoes, we got some in advance at BigW for under $10 and they saved our feet, the beach is a mixture of coral pieces which could be unpleasant (also useful for river swimming). As soon as you get off the boat, head over and bag yourself an lounge chair. You will need to take your own towels, etc. There are basic showers in the ablutions block.



The island has a population of snakes, which like most snakes leave you alone if you leave them alone:



So a few notes about the island trip. Things seemed to have changed since the end of COVID vs. the advertising or social media you may see.

They want you on board the boat by 0745h, however it sits there for a while at the dock before leaving. During this time they'll hard-sell you nespresso and industrial pastries which are all a bit meh.

The boat is fine and everyone is looking at their phones until you approach the island, then everyone suddenly jumps up to take photos of the lighthouse as you approach the island.

Upon arriving at the island. we went to rent some snorkelling gear which was all good, however we were originally told it was a cash deposit, no it's now a rental fee. *shrug*.

You can buy water, drinks, snacks, etc., as expected on the island. You will drink a lot of water. The local Mont Dor water was almost twice the supermarket price, so be prepared. Lunch is a simple buffet affair, if you like the local tuna and citrus you're good to go. It includes local beer, watered-down juices and red wine. The food sits out in the sun so isn't that palatable, but I ate some out of sheer hunger.

After lunch you can go out on a glass-bottomed boat and they chase the fish and turtles to give you a good look. The guide was very good and this is genuinely interesting.




After the boat ride, it was time for more swimming to work up an appetite for the evenings' supermarket haul. I don't remember the boat ride back to Noumea as I slept the whole way as I was downstairs in the air-conditioned cabin.

Overall it was a lovely day with nature, and I have no regrets in paying the cost to have the transport taken care of with a basic meal.

More to follow.

 

[toowongman]

The next day we felt like giving the little C3 a flogging and seeing the countryside, so we drove out to Fort Teremba.

Le Fort

L'histoire du Fort Teremba de Nouvelle-Calédonie d'hier à aujourd’hui

www.fort-teremba.com

It is a very early example of activities, and contains an informative museum about the early colonial shenanigans - you can learn about the early interactions between the Kanaks and the western world.



There's a snack bar there as well, and the only public phone I saw on the entire trip from memory:



Overall a good history lesson, and a nice drive. On the way back we had to refuel the car and learned that petrol stations are full-service, which was delightful. The staff were up for a chat with someone different (Australians) who treated them like human beings and not servants. Good manners don't cost anything. Anyhow.

Rural New Caledonia is interesting, lots of new farms and tiny specks of towns. It looks like local agriculture is being promoted and if all goes well, local fruit and vegetables will be much more affordable and of a better quality. We stopped at a random bakery on the return (I had spotted on the way up) and had some delightful pastries, for example:



Then it was back to our favourite hypermarket to stock up for the night ahead. Not having good skills in French, and not wanting to be arrested I couldn't take the photos of the supermarkets to show people, however did sneak the following at Geant Hypermarket:



It was outstanding, we spent about ninety minutes an evening here planning dinner, buying snacks, and slowly selecting items to bring home. The selections are amazing, the cheese is flown in from France, the deli was awesome, etc., etc. I must have eaten five kilograms over the week of these prepared mussels in a creamy garlic sauce from the deli:



Now I get the coughs walking around our local Woolworths, disappointed with the variety and quality of foodstuffs. Such is life. We ended up filling one suitcase with biscuits, mustards, pates, jams, tinned proteins, white asparagus, etc. Take plenty of socks so you can protect the jars. We declared everything upon arrival to Brisbane, and the border force people just laughed their heads off, and were a little hungry. You can bring in tinned meat as long it is made in France, so that was lucky.

Then a swim at the house and dinner:




The next day, we slept in and went to our local patisserie for brunch, amusing the staff once more with my cough French, then the local supermarket for picnic items then headed back to the nurses' river again.



Then it was back home for a shower then hit more supermarkets, and we found a newly opened Auchan where a member of staff gave us a tour (to practice their English no doubt) which was a highlight.

Just for S+G I tried this pizza vending machine. Don't.



très décevant.
more to follow

 

[toowongman]

So it's departure Saturday and QF want you at the airport at T-3 hours. Working backwards from this we visited out patisserie one more time, the hypermarket, back home for the bags then a picnic, finally arriving at the airport in plenty of time.

The bus stop at the airport is next to the car rental dropoff spots, and I could feel many people wishing they had rented a car. Do so.

Checkin was open at 1300h, much to the disdain of the agents who clearly didn't want to do anything.



Then we learned that you can't go through departures until 1400h. We were hungry again so I walked out of the airport and across the road to a little Auchan supermarket and we had a little picnic in the public terminal area. During this escapade I noticed a QF A330 take off to Sydney.

Finally the departures opened at ~1420h and we went through security. A lot of francophiles really had issues with the x-rays which was frustrating and hilarious at the same time. Then thanks to Mrs Platinum it was up the lift to the Aircalin Hibiscus lounge.

Nobody was guarding the place so we made ourselves comfortable. Someone popped out of the kitchen and told us to get a drink. OK!

It is a small yet comfortable lounge. The food offering was a few sandwich points, plenty of packaged snacks and lots of cup noodles.





There was plenty of spirits, so I enjoyed those and my body weight in cans of Perrier. That and Frederick Forsyth made for a pleasant time until the lounge suddenly became quite noisy. Uh-oh.



Lots of people had connections at BNE and were going nuts trying to get through to QF. Was interesting to hear people swap notes with regards to what they were going to demand from QF. Ha ha ha ha. Ha. What can you do? Nothing. So it was cup noodle time then back to the liquids. Note that the bathroom is outside the lounge, but not too far away.

Eventually QF found an aircraft that had the international capabilities and sent it on its way.


*shrug* so we carried on as normal. The Aircalin people were very nice and distributed those letters for travel insurance, and made up some ham and cheese toasted sandwiches.

Eventually we boarded a 100% full 737. Everyone seemed to have a case of the coughs including the crew. Then we were delayed due to paperwork with regard to a FA. I can't remember what time we departed but it was about 20 minutes or so later than the final estimate above.

Our platinum shadow vanished and as we're a pair of units, it was not a good flight. I passed on the dinner and had some more water. After forcing myself to listen to an entire concert to pass the time, I had to queue up for the bathroom for half and hour. It looked as if the rest of the passengers had taken their revenge out on QF by their treatment of the head.

more to follow

 

[toowongman]

So we arrived back to Brisbane, which was quite busy and had a laugh with Border Force over all our foodstuffs in the suitcase. By declaring it all they were fine and no issues at all.

Would we return? Yes, we've already booked tickets for July. And I have some restaurants to visit next time as well. Here's some random information I've put together for the curious.

Money. Cash is the XPF (Franc), and you don't need too much of it. You can't buy it in Australia, but you can get some from any ATM - they're easy to use. I think we spent about $200 worth, mostly with roadside vendors (rotisserie chickens) and out on Amedee island. Everywhere else had paywave/EFTPOS that accepted our cards. Sometimes you have to type in your PIN, no effort. Bankwest rebated all the foreign currency exchange fees. Nice.

Internet. Some places have Wi-Fi, but don't bank on it. Our hosts gave us a portable 4G Wi-Fi router to use, which was adequate. It worked with WhatsApp for the odd missive back to Australia. You can rent them at the airport as well.

Offer New Caledonia - WIFI box rental - NC Pocket WIFI

Arrival in New Caledonia * Departure from New Caledonia* If you are a tourist on vacation or a professional on a mission, enjoy a private 4G internet access thanks to our Pocket WIFI and stay connected everywhere in New Caledonia during your trip. THE + OF OUR SOLUTION High speed 3G/4G Internet...

www.ncpocketwifi.com

Before leaving Australia I offline downloaded all of New Caledonia we planned on visiting into Google Maps and saved all the proposed points of interest, so you can use it without mobile data. Just leave your phone in flight mode with the GPS on.

Telephone. OPT (the local version of the post office/telecom provider) doesn't have roaming agreements with Australian cellular networks. Strangely enough I received the odd SMS on my Telstra SIM, though I wouldn't plan on that being official. You can get tourist SIMs from OPT.

Main | Tourism Card - Mobilis NC

www.tourismcard.nc

Language. Don't assume people speak English. You're going to need some basic French if you're out of the tourist areas. Then just to mess you up, a few Kanaks will not speak French on principle, but have great English (the lady who runs the coffee shop at Port Moselle markets).

Safety. We really didn't go out at night, so not an issue. Having a chat to some police at a bakery and they said the biggest issues were domestic violence, youth crime and petty theft.

Medical. Pharmacies are prevalent and there seemed to be ambulances everywhere when driving about. There's a modern hospital in Noumea just out of the CBD.

Driving. You drive on the right. Rarely saw traffic police except for attending a bingle or when they direct traffic heading in/out of the CBD during peak. Once on the motorways (signed at 110 km/h) it's anything goes, but I still wouldn't want to get caught. Speed limits around residential areas is 30 km/h. Otherwise look for the signs.



If you've driven in France you will understand all the road signs. Roundabouts are point-and-shoot - find your gap and GO. Then brake again carefully when you end up exiting at 70+. Then watch out for the pedestrian crossing after the roundabout. I now understand why our rental car had very large Hertz stickers on the back. They have traffic light repeaters similar to Singapore:



As mentioned earlier, petrol stations we used were full service. I believe the prices are set by the Government, so just go when you need to go.

Public transport. No idea, sorry. Some people say the buses are good and inexpensive. There seemed to be a lot of taxis. No uber, etc.

Mail. Posting things was easy, go to a post office ("OPT"), get a queue number from the computer at the entrance and wait your turn. Just like Medicare last century. Postcards took about three weeks to arrive back in Australia. Just smile and hand over your postcards and they'll take care of them for you.

Supermarkets. Are great. When you want fruit or vegetables, put your selection in a bag as usual, then head to the fruit and veg clerk in that section who will weigh the bags and stick on the barcode labels. You have to do this before going to the checkout, the operators there do not weigh the fruit or veg at the registers.

Water. You could drink the water, it's fine. Being a pair of tossers we only drank pellegrino as it was reasonably priced, or the local Mont Dor bottled water if available at smaller places.

Otherwise, New Caledonia is an interesting little coastal part of France in the Pacific. Although Aircalin and the local tourism office spruik the place to some degree, it doesn't feel too much like a place for tourism at all. It's there to visit, and has an interesting history. If you're the kind of person who can do their own research and take care of yourself as a traveller without assistance from others (guides, tourist offices, etc), check it out. It's good value and not far away at all.

If you have any questions let me know and I will try to answer them.

 

[VPS]

Thanks for the TR - it is somewhere I'd like to go for a visit

 

[zig]

Thanks for the informative report and all the tips.

 

[Stewey]

Excellent and informative TR @toowongman
I love New Caledonia and I might do something similar to what you guys just did next time rather than stay in hotels around Anse Vata

 

[toowongman]

Excellent and informative TR @toowongman
I love New Caledonia and I might do something similar to what you guys just did next time rather than stay in hotels around Anse Vata

Thanks. I should probably edit some of my writing for clarity. Anyhow, there's much more than just the city and Anse Vata. Once you drive out of the CBD, the driving is very easy and can be fast. You can self-cater very well even only with basic cutlery and a fridge. I am now hungry just thinking about it again.

 

[camperdown9]

Thanks for posting this trip report, Noumea is somewhere I would really like to go. I live near Dijon in France (part of the year) and I kind of interested to see how French places like Noumea and Reunion etc are. The little town that I live in, in Burgundy has two pizza machines and a bread machine. I have never used them always looked a bit industrial.

 

[Flyinfish]

Thanks so much . I’m going to New Caledonia in May! Like you I have booked a self contained AirBnB in central Noumea. I love foreign supermarkets! It’s one of my favourite things to do, so I look forward to visiting the Geant Supermarche, as well as the local market. I don’t drive and still thinking about places to visit by tour or public transport, Amedee Island a possibility. I’m also flying to the Isle of Pines and staying 3 days at a gite. Thanks so much for all the useful information I was going to beg borrow or steal a lounge pass for Brisbane but after your review maybe not

 

[marki]

The next day we felt like giving the little C3 a flogging and seeing the countryside, so we drove out to Fort Teremba.

Le Fort

L'histoire du Fort Teremba de Nouvelle-Calédonie d'hier à aujourd’hui

www.fort-teremba.com

View attachment 313583

It is a very early example of activities, and contains an informative museum about the early colonial shenanigans - you can learn about the early interactions between the Kanaks and the western world.

View attachment 313584

There's a snack bar there as well, and the only public phone I saw on the entire trip from memory:

View attachment 313585

Overall a good history lesson, and a nice drive. On the way back we had to refuel the car and learned that petrol stations are full-service, which was delightful. The staff were up for a chat with someone different (Australians) who treated them like human beings and not servants. Good manners don't cost anything. Anyhow.

Rural New Caledonia is interesting, lots of new farms and tiny specks of towns. It looks like local agriculture is being promoted and if all goes well, local fruit and vegetables will be much more affordable and of a better quality. We stopped at a random bakery on the return (I had spotted on the way up) and had some delightful pastries, for example:

View attachment 313586

Then it was back to our favourite hypermarket to stock up for the night ahead. Not having good skills in French, and not wanting to be arrested I couldn't take the photos of the supermarkets to show people, however did sneak the following at Geant Hypermarket:

View attachment 313587

It was outstanding, we spent about ninety minutes an evening here planning dinner, buying snacks, and slowly selecting items to bring home. The selections are amazing, the cheese is flown in from France, the deli was awesome, etc., etc. I must have eaten five kilograms over the week of these prepared mussels in a creamy garlic sauce from the deli:

View attachment 313588

Now I get the coughs walking around our local Woolworths, disappointed with the variety and quality of foodstuffs. Such is life. We ended up filling one suitcase with biscuits, mustards, pates, jams, tinned proteins, white asparagus, etc. Take plenty of socks so you can protect the jars. We declared everything upon arrival to Brisbane, and the border force people just laughed their heads off, and were a little hungry. You can bring in tinned meat as long it is made in France, so that was lucky.

Then a swim at the house and dinner:


View attachment 313589

The next day, we slept in and went to our local patisserie for brunch, amusing the staff once more with my cough French, then the local supermarket for picnic items then headed back to the nurses' river again.

View attachment 313590

Then it was back home for a shower then hit more supermarkets, and we found a newly opened Auchan where a member of staff gave us a tour (to practice their English no doubt) which was a highlight.

Just for S+G I tried this pizza vending machine. Don't.

View attachment 313591

très décevant.
more to follow

That is Amazing

 

[toowongman]

Thanks so much . I’m going to New Caledonia in May! Like you I have booked a self contained AirBnB in central Noumea. I love foreign supermarkets! It’s one of my favourite things to do, so I look forward to visiting the Geant Supermarche, as well as the local market. I don’t drive and still thinking about places to visit by tour or public transport, Amedee Island a possibility. I’m also flying to the Isle of Pines and staying 3 days at a gite. Thanks so much for all the useful information I was going to beg borrow or steal a lounge pass for Brisbane but after your review maybe not

I wouldn't worry about the lounge, the airport is dead quiet during that time, unless you really want to ... enjoy refreshments

Another supermarket fiend, welcome! Check out the following with regards to the buses:

Practical Information : Transport services

There are two principal bus networks in New Caledonia: Tanéo, the urban network of Grand Nouméa, and RAI, the interurban coach network. There are also...

www.newcaledonia.travel

Isle of Pines is lovely, we spent a short period of time there during a cruise. I can't relax that much to make a stay there beneficial, however I can appreciate how amazing it is. Being a pair of control freaks we like self-catering too much. If you have any more questions let me know.

 

[Cossie]

We jumped on a couple of buses and went to the end of the line, one was to Kendu Beach, had a wander then caught bus back from the hospital.
Also out to St Quentin, jumping on and off and a bit of walking, we also want to go back, drive around the island, one day, sigh!