Interesting lounge announcements - Have you heard any?

[puppysparkes]

I'll start.

Currently in the Perth lounge. Initial call went over the PA for someone that lost some "paper work"...
Several minutes passed...second call..."some lotto tickets have been handed in" chortles could be heard through out the lounge, which graduated to open smiles and hand raising.

 

[SeatBackForward]

In Perth Lounge "Lost, International flights, if anyone has seen them can they please contact Alan"

 

[Ewing]

Sitting in an overseas lounge:

"Would <x> please see staff at the service desk. A shower is now available for you.".

Then, button stuck:

"I keep calling but these silly people never come. They mustn't want a shower".

I presented at the desk and took a spot instead (I'd just hopped off a 12 hour flight)

 

[tuapekastar]

Gate lounge rather than airline lounge. Waiting for MEL-AKL QF flight, when the tannoy crackled into life: "This flight has been delayed. We cannot locate the crew".

Probably not the exact words, but definitely that was the message.

 

[tuapekastar]

In the SQ lounge at MEL last Thursday there was a technical glitch which meant that all the front desk's external communications (e.g. with the boarding gate) were broadcast over speakers in the lounge - both sides of the conversations. At least 3 people lobbed at the desk to inform the lady that she was audible to everyone. I don't think anything embarrassing was said.

 

[Warks]

This reminded me of this oldie. I first got this as a series of sound files embedded in a Word document emailed to me in the late 90s long before Youtube.

Warning some NSFW (rude) words appear on the screen and in your imagination.
Prank Airport Announcements - copyright http://www.queenhill.demon.co.uk/airspeak/air_speak.htm - YouTube

 

[drewbles]

Ahhh those. I've had them as ring tones on my phone for many many years, right up there with the manipulated SYD Cityrail sounds.

*edit*
Found the cityrail files if anyone is interested, they appear to be available here: http://www.mp3olimp.net/city-rail/

 

[OzEire]

In MEL QF J lounge right now. We have had a series of announcements re the 7pm SYD flight.

First: Anyone in the lounge holding boarding passes for SYD flight ### with no checked luggage who would like to take the earlier service please see CS counter, seats are limited.

About 30 mins later...

Second: anyone flying to SYD tonight on the 7pm service [sic: last of the day] please see staff.

Oh oh....

 

[Pushka]

This reminded me of this oldie. I first got this as a series of sound files embedded in a Word document emailed to me in the late 90s long before Youtube.

Warning some NSFW (rude) words appear on the screen and in your imagination.
Prank Airport Announcements - copyright [url]http://www.queenhill.demon.co.uk/airspeak/air_speak.htm - YouTube[/url]

I was going to post these too. Just brilliant.

 

[dcm]

Not a lounge announcement but whilst waiting for luggage at Mel International airport after a flight last year an announcement was made along these lines "Emirates would like to apologise for the delay in the availability of duty free goods. The delay was due to the inability of staff to read instructions" Caused some amusement.

 

[Katie]

I was paged in the LAX T4 Flounge for leaving my iPhone plugged in and unattended (couldn't get the family seated near a power outlet & the phone needed recharging). Oops.

 

[tuapekastar]

Content of announcement not humorous, but situation was a little so. Back in 2007, there were about 17 Flyertalkers in the SYD F lounge for breakfast prior to catching a QF 'international' flight SYD-BNE for the FT QF AGM. Just about the time our flight was ready for boarding we spied a gleaming new SQ A380 taxiing for take off. As none of us had ever seen an A380 before, the urge to remain in the lounge to watch it take off was rather strong. It seemed to take forever, and I caved in and left the lounge but the others, in true AFF/FT fashion did not. As I was walking to the gate, all 17 of us were paged by name to urgently proceed to the gate for boarding. We all made it.

 

[OzEire]

Ok, so not a lounge announcement, this was the farewell page by our senior FA on a VA 737 recently arrived into BNE. After the usual speil comes the advert about using rental car partners"...just show your Virgin boarding to the Hertz, Europcar or Thrifty agents in the toilet for a great discount rate..."

Fits of uncontrollable laughter erupted from the front of cabin when her colleague no doubt pointed out...err, I think you meant terminal rather than toilet.

 

[puppysparkes]

Content of announcement not humorous, but situation was a little so. Back in 2007, there were about 17 Flyertalkers in the SYD F lounge for breakfast prior to catching a QF 'international' flight SYD-BNE for the FT QF AGM. Just about the time our flight was ready for boarding we spied a gleaming new SQ A380 taxiing for take off. As none of us had ever seen an A380 before, the urge to remain in the lounge to watch it take off was rather strong. It seemed to take forever, and I caved in and left the lounge but the others, in true AFF/FT fashion did not. As I was walking to the gate, all 17 of us were paged by name to urgently proceed to the gate for boarding. We all made it.

Herding cats on cat nip comes to mind lol!

 

[anat0l]

Overheard in VA section of the terminal at BNE D:

"Virgin Blue is paging recently arrived passenger, Mr Benjamin Dover. That's Mr Benjamin Dover - could you please proceed to Baggage Blues on the ground level. Thank you."

No I am not making this up.

As for announcements in lounges - one comes to mind as I was waiting in the ADL QP for a few friends to arrive. "The lounge is paging Mr Anatoll. Could you please proceed to the lounge reception, Mr Anatoll."

I guess they knew who I was. But not my real full name.