How do you cope with emergencies at home when travelling?

[Boogs]

Just got the call to say my wife and kids are very sick with a tummy bug. They in BNE, me in PER:evil:

Mrs Boogs said she hates me and I should never go away again. Pretty tough stuff to hear when you're a WP!!! But never the less, family is more important than a job or a status :shock:

I was just interested to see how the AFF'er cope! Any advice?

sat here in the PER QP, waiting for the redeye in whY!

my god I forgot how bad QP fare was! Wish there was a J lounge

Boogs

 

[Blinky]

Your wife said she hates you because you are away with work? Sorry to say, but I think you have more things to deal with than a (possibly minor) illness in the family.

 

[Mal]

Parents, friends. People cope. I have been extremely sick and didnt need assistance. Its only a stomach bug... there are many things worse to have.

I suspect there is angst because you aren't there to assist. But pharmacies have delivery services, there are home visit doctors etc that can be arranged. Even Coles etc now deliver.

All you can do is to provide moral support and try to help with any arrangements.

And if you no longer Travel... how does that affect your pay, your job, household income etc.

 

[docjames]

If domestic travel and the problem is not immediately solvable with help of family and friends, I get on the next available flight and go home.

If international the threshold is a but higher, but that would still be my approach.

 

[Fantic125]

You need to travel more so they get used to coping without you there!

I've had a few interesting calls from my wife while I've been OS, ranging from our son deciding to drop out of University after 4 weeks, to the hot water service giving up the ghost.....

It's easier for them to cope though if the family is older rather than young children.

 

[drewbles]

I arrived in LAX once to a message that it was 'raining in my lounge' (I was on a first floor apartment). Turns out that the upstairs apartments hot water heater decided to bust (and, ironically enough, they were on holidays). Fortunately, housemate had just gotten back (hours before I landed) and sorted it out.

I also had a friend travelling with me to LAX from SYD years ago. Water pipes in the office above his burst (he owns a computer repair store in Sydney) and he somehow managed to get on the plane with me still.

Emergencies happen. It's the reason you have good employees/family/friends. Someone can always help. The absolute worst case? You get on the next flight home. I consider my FF point balance an insurance policy in case 'shyte happens' (as well as saving for things; it's dual purpose).

 

[lovestotravel]

Again, no offence, but it's a stomach bug....

So by very sick I take it they are in hospital yes ??....................

 

[simongr]

Wow - not so much sympathy here then...

If you have a wife and kids all ill - puking and the rest it is pretty hard when you are well to deal with multiple vomit delivery systems let alone when you are sick yourself. You don't have to be in hospital to be sufficiently sick to not be able to deal with this stuff. Even if it was just the wife - how would you expect her to look after the kids to an appropriate level?

Friends and family are not always an option. My in-laws are useless and even after my wife had an operation they were to o busy weeding the garden to come over and help so I could attend a video conference in the city that had been arranged for six months. Sometimes a a couple you are just on your own.

I haven't faced the issue when overseas but have flown home when wife was taken to hospital after her mother was unable to look after her and I had to attend a board meeting in Melbourne. When I left my wife at home that morning she was getting better and was in the care of a friend, that friend couldnt stay a second day so the MIL came over. First thing she did was comment that she hadn't had any breakfast and could my wife make it for her...

So Boogs - you did exactly the right thing and exactly what I would have done.

Dealing with stuff like this for me one of the hardest parts of travelling.

 

[dodgeyhack]

No advice. But if you were there you would have just gotten the bug too, so doubt you'd be much use =)

 

[SeatBackForward]

Boogs, You're doing the right thing. Taking care of your immediate family should be right at the top of the list. As a father of two under the age of 4, I wouldn't hesitate for a moment if my wife asked me to return home - this is becauase I know she wouldn't request that for anything friovolous also.

 

[mhen]

I hope Mrs Boogs and junior Boogs get well soon. Tummy wog earlier this year so I know how terrible it can make you feel and I didn't have to look after sick children as well. Good to hear you immediately headed home, emotional support is just as important as physical support.

Can I suggest that once this bout of illness is over the best thing you can do is talk to each other to get some agreement/understanding as to how various emergencies/events might be handled. This could also give you both the opportunity to voice any concerns/frustrations about travel, job security, satisfaction, parenting etc. A few plans like if A happens we will do this and if B happens we will do that. Note emphasis on we. Also maybe identifying a couple of friends or family members and asking them if they wouldn't mind being a backstop for emergencies when you are away.

 

[Blinky]

Wow - not so much sympathy here then...

If you have a wife and kids all ill - puking and the rest it is pretty hard when you are well to deal with multiple vomit delivery systems let alone when you are sick yourself. You don't have to be in hospital to be sufficiently sick to not be able to deal with this stuff. Even if it was just the wife - how would you expect her to look after the kids to an appropriate level?

Friends and family are not always an option. My in-laws are useless and even after my wife had an operation they were to o busy weeding the garden to come over and help so I could attend a video conference in the city that had been arranged for six months. Sometimes a a couple you are just on your own.

I haven't faced the issue when overseas but have flown home when wife was taken to hospital after her mother was unable to look after her and I had to attend a board meeting in Melbourne. When I left my wife at home that morning she was getting better and was in the care of a friend, that friend couldnt stay a second day so the MIL came over. First thing she did was comment that she hadn't had any breakfast and could my wife make it for her...

So Boogs - you did exactly the right thing and exactly what I would have done.

Dealing with stuff like this for me one of the hardest parts of travelling.

Sure, but his wife saying she hated him? How is that constructive?

I didn't say that boogs did the wrong thing, and he has my sympathies.

 

[horseman]

I reckon he did the right thing, but his missus needs to have a long hard look at herself.

 

[Mal]

Wow - not so much sympathy here then...

Until teleporting becomes an option, there is always a window of time before you can return home. So what are you supposed to do in the meantime? Hire a private jet? I thought my post summed up things as to how to try to cope with the situation.

 

[docjames]

I thought mine reflected what the OP was doing.

My family makes sacrifices for my work, but when they are sick is not the time.

 

[JohnK]

I am dreading the day I am told there is an emergency at home while I am away.

And by emergency I am not thinking a stomach bug.

I guess it is all relative and different people are able to cope differently.

 

[lovestotravel]

Yep a stomach bug is far from an emergency

 

[777]

If your family *need* you to get by you need to be there for them.

I've had stomach bugs and i've had 3 of us in the house throwing our guts up simultaneously. I've had ones where i discovered it's possible to have projectiles coming out of the top and bottom of your body simultaneously. Sure, we all knew no one was going to die but it's a harsh thing to leave someone alone with. Throw in a kid or two in the same state and a lack of other lifelines and it's your number one priority to get back there and hold it together.

Balancing travel and family is really hard. At times i hate it but you made the right call. It's not always easy and sometimes i've made the wrong call but being there for those who need us is kinda the point of being humans isn't it?

 

[crm911]

Different people react differently to the same "emergency". Fortunately, my wife of 33 years has coped with everything that might have happened during the numerous times I was away. She has worked with little kids for most of her career, so that may have trained her to recognise a real emergency. In fact, we almost never call each other when one of us is travelling. I have been away for 3 months once without needing to call home.

OTOH a former colleague would call his wife before the plane took off, then when it landed - every time. More calls at various times of the day.

 

[The Rok]

Different people react differently to the same "emergency". Fortunately, my wife of 33 years has coped with everything that might have happened during the numerous times I was away. She has worked with little kids for most of her career, so that may have trained her to recognise a real emergency. In fact, we almost never call each other when one of us is travelling. I have been away for 3 months once without needing to call home.

OTOH a former colleague would call his wife before the plane took off, then when it landed - every time. More calls at various times of the day.

You didn't speak to your wife for three months? Interesting relationship you have.,

I spend about 80% of the year away from home and I phone my fiancé every single day. Only for 15 minutes or so.