Gone in 5 days: My Award Travel Heist

[somebol]

It’s been a while. A lifetime ago, really—back when no one called me “Dad,”. Those were the glory days of award travel, when points were plentiful, awards were cheap, and the biggest dilemma in life was “LX First or SQ Suites?”

These days, I’m the guy booking family trips 12 months out, desperately trying to find four award seats like I’m playing elite-level Sudoku with frequent flyer charts. I read other people’s trip reports the way some people read romance novels—wistfully, a little jealously, and with a glass of wine in hand. Those old travel instincts are still there… they just take naps now.

But then, something happened. Last week, while reading yet another glorious trip report, a crazy idea popped into my head: maybe I can still do this. A long weekend was coming up, work was light, And, best of all, my amazing wife offered me a four-day hall pass. No strings, just go. The destination didn’t even matter. I just wanted to go somewhere. Anywhere. In style.

Where to go?
Birmingham. Why? Because getting there required two long-haul flights and, let’s be honest, I’d been reading weirdly captivating trip reports that made it sound quirky and cool in a low-key way.

When to go?
King’s Birthday weekend (June 7–9, plus maybe a cheeky day or two of leave). Perfect—except, of course, everyone elsehad the same idea. There were no awards left from anywhere in Oz to Southeast Asia or the Middle East.

After hours of searching, I cobbled together a routing: MEL–DEL–BOM–LHR (Air India) & BHX–IST–KUL–SYD (Turkish). Bold, yes. Wise? Questionable. The AI routing had only a 3-hour connection in BOM—on separate tickets—and flying AI 788 J didn’t quite have the magic I was craving. I hesitated. I stalled.

But wait. Hope wasn’t lost. I remembered the previous weekend (May 30–June 2) was also a long weekend for us Canberrans. Surely fewer people were trying to flee the country then?

I started searching again. And bingo! I found SYD–DOH–AUH–CDG on Qatar First and Etihad First, using a heroic mix of Avios and Aeroplan. It even had a manageable 3-hour connection in AUH. I was travelling HLO, so I figured I could roll the dice.

Of course, the EY F turned out to be phantom. Classic. But after a few more searches, I found a more direct option: SYD–DOH–BHX.

The return was a breeze: ZRH–BKK–MEL (Swiss and Thai), with a 36-hour stopover in Bangkok. A final hit of warm weather and spicy noodles before heading back to Canberra’s chill.

Final routing:
CBR–SYD–DOH–BHX // MAN–ZRH–BKK–MEL–CBR.
Five days. Two nights in BHX. One night in BKK.

The adventure kicks off this Thursday with a tiny hop from CBR–SYD, followed by a blissful stint in the Qantas First Lounge, and then it’s Qatar First all the way.

Let the champagne flow, the trip reports be written, and the glory days be relived—if only for a weekend.

 

[drron]

Well done Maestro..

 

[Seat0B]

This is great! It's always good to remember what things were like BC.

And don't worry, those carefree times will be back before you know it as your children will flee the nest faster than you may think now. Only "bad" part is - you will be likely in your 60s and some of the things you did back then just won't cut the mustard at this time of your life . There's plenty of good travel in your future, I feel it.

And this trip is going to really keep you going until then, slumming it as you are in QR F.

 

[Happy Dude]

I think a long weekend in Birmingham from CBR is the strangest thing I've ever read here.

I also thought QR F awards out of Aus were not available, or does that not apply to "last minute" departures?

 

[clifford]

But why BHX?

I can only assume that you have family links there. Ozzy Osbourne?

 

[somebol]

This is great! It's always good to remember what things were like BC.

And don't worry, those carefree times will be back before you know it as your children will flee the nest faster than you may think now. Only "bad" part is - you will be likely in your 60s and some of the things you did back then just won't cut the mustard at this time of your life . There's plenty of good travel in your future, I feel it.

And this trip is going to really keep you going until then, slumming it as you are in QR F.

Oh, I am looking forward to it. By my calculations I have another 8 years before we are free again.

I also thought QR F awards out of Aus were not available, or does that not apply to "last minute" departures?

QR F awards are a bit weird, I've only ever found them as part of mixed itineraries

But why BHX?

I can only assume that you have family links there. Ozzy Osbourne?

No family or friends in BHX, This TR on Flyertalk was the insipiration

 

[somebol]

There’s a very specific kind of excitement that comes the day before a solo international trip. A rare, almost mythical energy. The kind that only we understand. The brethren. The tribe. The ones who’ve spent too many hours on AFF and have strong opinions about aircraft subtypes. Only we get us.

When I mentioned this trip to friends or colleagues, I was met with the same quizzical head tilt and furrowed brow.
“You’re doing what?”
“You’re flying to the UK… for two days?”
They looked at me like I was some sort of deeply confused, points-obsessed mutant. Which, to be fair, I am. But in here—in this community—these trips aren’t just understood. They’re celebrated. They’re the stuff of legends.

Emotionally, I’m oscillating between giddy anticipation and mild guilt. But let’s be clear: this isn’t indulgence. This is self-care. It just so happens that my version of self-care involves lie-flat beds, warm nuts, and a wine list with footnotes.

There’s a particular kind of freedom in knowing that, for five brief, blissful days, no one will ask me what’s for dinner, where their school hat is, or whether their iPad has been charged.
Instead, I’ll be contemplating far more important questions, like:
“Champagne or scotch?”
I’m kidding, of course. I’ll have both. At the same time.

Right now, I’ve got seven hours until my first flight. Between now and then, I’ll drop the kids at school, finish a few work things, and pretend to be a functioning adult. But mentally, I’m already gone—wandering the marble floors of the Qantas First Lounge, sipping something French, wondering if Neil Perry has finally lifted his game. (Spoiler: probably not. But hope, like status, springs eternal.)

The first leg is a puddle jumper from Canberra to Sydney. Barely a flight, really—but symbolically, it marks the moment the wheels lift off and the escape begins.

After that: Qantas First Lounge. Then Qatar First.

Am I really flying halfway around the world just for a seat and a meal?

Absolutely.
And I regret nothing.

 

[somebol]

We often complain about the “Australia Tax”—the mysterious premium we pay on just about everything from gadgets to groceries to economy class. But us in Canberra? We live under a more niche tyranny: the Canberra Tax. Flights to and from CBR are somehow double the cost of any other route. A simple 300km hop to Sydney? North of $200. Same price as a decent domestic leg. Except this one’s in a Dash 8 and lasts about as long as a good voice message.

But I love flying out of CBR. It’s never too busy, the layout is intuitive, and it only takes minutes to get from kerbside to airside. My wife dropped me off like she was making a grocery run, and moments later I was airside, toasting the trip with a drink at Capital Brewing, courtesy of priority pass, and then migrated to the Virgin lounge to nurse a beer and answer a few work emails to keep up the illusion of productivity.
The hop to Sydney was, as always, unremarkable. We spent more time in the airspace above Sydney than actually flying. It’s a route best described as “airborne formality.”
After landing, I took the airport bus to the international terminal. From there: check-in, security, and immigration. I was walking into the Qantas First Lounge 45 minutes after deplaning.

While arriving into Australia usually involves suspicion, sniffer dogs, and explaining your trail mix to someone in latex gloves, departures have now started to resemble arrivals. After security, you’re funnelled into a single, sad little immigration hall with exactly sevenSmartGates to serve all of international departures. Seven! For a major city. But once you make it through, the reward is sweet. You emerge into the warm, familiar glow of the Qantas First Lounge.

Now, in Australia, we don’t agree on much. But we do agree on three cultural icons: Don Bradman, Ned Kelly, and the Salt and Pepper Squid in the Qantas First Lounge. The lounge itself is beautiful—tastefully designed, with great tarmac views and a decent wine list. And in the past, I’ve had some excellent meals there. I have the photos to prove it.

Full disclosure: I’m vegetarian. (Not by choice)

So it was with great anticipation that I approached this long-awaited return visit (my first since 2019). And, well… let’s just say it didn’t live up to the memory.

I had lentil soup, mushroom stir-fry, and pavlova. The soup was lukewarm, joyless, and so devoid of flavour that no amount of salt or pepper could revive it. The mushroom stir-fry was better, but still miles behind what you could get in any average suburban Asian joint. The pavlova? Glorious, as always. And the sourdough served with the soup was legitimately excellent—I ate the bread and left the soup, which felt symbolic somehow.

All of this was accompanied by two glasses of champagne and the slow erosion of my culinary optimism. But hey, champagne dulls many things. Including soup-based betrayal.

Some people critique QR First for its lack of doors, or its less-than-private layout. Personally, I don’t mind. It’s spacious, elegant, and—most importantly—has no dreaded footwell coffin. As for privacy, I’m not particularly worried. I assume my cabin-mates are far too busy drinking Krug and pretending to sleep to care what I’m doing in seat 2A.

As I write this, we’re 12 hours into the flight. I’ve had a good meal, slept solidly for nearly seven hours, and spent the last few hours sipping coffee, writing and reflecting on the fact that this whole plan, while slightly ridiculous, is also absolutely worth it.

There’s 1.5 hours left until we land in Doha

P.S. No photos until we get to BHX, most likely. My phone and iPad are currently locked in a Cold War, and I lack the finger flexibility (and patience) to type anything longer a line on my phone. Words only for now—pictures when iDevice diplomacy is restored

 

[kookaburra75]

We often complain about the “Australia Tax”—the mysterious premium we pay on just about everything from gadgets to groceries to economy class. But us in Canberra? We live under a more niche tyranny: the Canberra Tax. Flights to and from CBR are somehow double the cost of any other route. A simple 300km hop to Sydney? North of $200. Same price as a decent domestic leg. Except this one’s in a Dash 8 and lasts about as long as a good voice message.

I hear you about the 'Canberra Tax'. But full kudos for your efforts, not that you are 'roughing' in QR F

You will be back for the next Canberra get together Canberra lunch - Saturday 12 July 2025. Can you make it so you can regale us of your tales (triumphs and woes)?

 

[somebol]

Unfortunately I will be in Melbourne that weekend.

 

[Cessna 180]

Great report and I admire your enthusiasm.

Sadly I do not get to F lounge much but I still remember my first visit, I think around 2015.

I was last at Syd F on new year eve a couple of years ago and was underwhelmed.

MEL F on the other hand, was there a few weeks ago and in my opinion is still a great lounge. I have limited international exposure compared to some, but it is still kind of my favorite out of the few great international lounges I have visited. So many folks go on about “the size” of the lounge.

I don’t see that as important.

Enjoy your little splurge.

 

[somebol]

Here are some photos to prove that I am not making any of this up.





The soup that caused much disappointment


QR welcome drink. This was consumed on both legs


A proper drink. I can assure you that multiple of these were imbibed


A better soup. I did eat other courses but forgot to take photos


Breakfast at al safa


The best soup of the lot


Another outstanding dish. The dessert was really nice as well.

 

[somebol]

I am now in Birmingham.
The plan is to walk around for a couple of hours and then join a pub tour. That should allow me to sleep at a reasonable time and hopefully the jet lag won’t be too bad.

But first, I am thirsty and it’s time for a coldie

 

[RooFlyer]

This is obviously just setting you up for a good In-N-Out burger run. Several AFFers have reported doing it.

Over to LAX, a quick Uber to In-N-Out just outside the airport,have something there like the Animal fries, and watch the planes go close overhead, then back to the terminal and back home. Your body cough would never know you left Australia.

https://www.in-n-out.com/

 

[somebol]

Spent a few hours walking around the city center


Bullring markets


St Martin’s Church


St Martin’s








B‘Ham cathedral








By then I was crashing, so skipped the pub tour grabbed a bite to eat and in bed by 9:30

 

[SydneySwan]

I recognised some of those photos, only some though. I studied at Birmingham University in the 1970s ......probably the worst decision of my life. Birmingham has definitely changed in recent years for the better - try going for a walk along the canal by the Mailbox and the library in Centenary Square is a fantastic building.

 

[Gladstone Tim]

Somebol, so enjoying your mission, approach and manner in your writing. Interested in how you can be a vegetarian but not by choice. Have definitely got this thread on my watchlist.

 

[somebol]

Somebol, so enjoying your mission, approach and manner in your writing. Interested in how you can be a vegetarian but not by choice. Have definitely got this thread on my watchlist.

I was raised vegetarian by my parents (I am of Indian origin). I have tried eating meat in my adult life but found it hard to overcome the psychological barrier

 

[somebol]

Sorry for the lack of updates, my return plans have unraveled due to separate tickets and cancellations. Have salvaged it somewhat. Detailed updates to follow when I get bit of downtime

 

[zainman]

I was raised vegetarian by my parents (I am of Indian origin). I have tried eating meat in my adult life but found it hard to overcome the psychological barrier

Does your username refer to "Sambal" as in the sauce/chutney/condiment?