Blame It On Rio....well Sao Paulo.

[medhead]

I waited for the priority boarding announcement, ready to walk to the front as a WP flying J...and then it came.....”Qantas Flight 408, to Sydney, is now ready for boarding”. :shock: I was almost knocked off my feet in the stampede. There were two and a half queues, on the right a single line, on the left a line with another snaking off to the left near the boarding point. It was, at best, chaotic.

Oh, you got the long version must have been a weekend. Usually the gate agent says "right to go" to the FA, and the scrum packs from there, I try to get loose head side.

 

[JohnM]

Great TR - keep it going!

 

[TonyHancock]

The Arrival in Sao Paulo

The arrival into Sao Paulo International Airport was smooth, certainly on the customs and immigration front. (A British passport is particularly handy - no visa needed.) Somewhat predictably the driver scheduled to collect me was, how can I put it....mmm...oh yes, not waiting with a big “Tony Hancock” sign, in fact he was not waiting at all. :shock:

Unusually I was relatively sober, although several hours of my flight were, strangely, missing from my less than photographic memory. This at least enabled me to formulate a new plan. It was all a touch annoying, I had managed to achieve an 11 minute time from disembarking to entering the arrivals hall. I was keen to get to the hotel.

After several attempted calls to the driver I gave up and headed for the taxi stand. It was all rather well organised...unlike me. After a spot of faffing about I managed to bring up my Holiday Inn reservation on my Blackberry so that the nice customer service lady could read the address, and was presented with a ticket to hand over to the taxi driver. The price was fixed at 88 Real. Thirty five minutes later I was checking into the HI.

The taxi journey was uneventful, there was no requirement to visit an ATM and hand over my life savings, nor was I kidnapped and taken to a remote location to be ransomed off, or not, in my particular case. (I was already resigned to any ransom demand being returned unopened!)

Why do I stay at Holiday Inns? A question I have asked myself many times. The inconsistency makes Qantas look good sometimes. They range from fleapit to middle of the range modern accommodation. The points setup is not bad though. With all of the offers out there the earn/burn ratio works for me.

This particular HI was not bad at all. I feared the worst from the photographs on the interweb and the building on first sight just looked odd. It is a tall, long building that, according to "our man in Brazil”, holds the record as the largest billboard in the world. Check in was longer than anticipated, in fact, interminably long. Same as mainland Europe, in my experience, though...why does it take so long? My original booking of two double beds was upgraded to a King Size room.



It was dark when I checked in so I did not get the full view from my room window until the morning. I did manage to sleep through until after 7 AM though so things were going well. The view was not dissimilar to a view over Darling Harbour with ANZAC bridge in the background. OK it was not quite the same, the harbour aspect was perhaps a little more, how can I put it,......drained, and the bridge was not exactly like ANZAC bridge.



......the LCC :shock: and internal trip up next.....

 

[TonyHancock]

The Ibis in Campinas

Following a stressless Monday morning a journey to Campinas followed. It was made in a rather tiny Fiat, of some description, but all in all it proved painless. The most noticeable thing on the journey was the amount of tree planting that has occurred in recent years.

It was time to sample the first night in a hotel I had not booked myself. :shock: The Ibis in Campinas. Oh dear! Basic is perhaps the word I should us. (Little did I realise how keen I would be to return here though.)

For me hotel rooms with uncarpeted floors are for resorts near the seaside, and rooms with plastic chairs are....well....not something I had experienced before. Yes, yes, first world problem and all that, but hey you already know how shallow I am. I don’t claim to be humble in any way shape or form.

The internet, 256 kbps, worked fine. Actually let me rephrase that, after two visits to the lobby and 45 minutes it worked fine. The need to place passport numbers in, as well as name and then room number, as part of the login process is both worrying from a security standpoint, and also because the volume of numbers and letters involved invariably leads to transcription errors at the check in desk. I did wonder if it was my fault, but the steady stream of guests arriving in reception pointed to a problem with the login system.

The room was equipped with a fridge....but nothing in it....apart from two plastic cups, an LCD TV, and air conditioning. (Still one up on most medium range hotels in the UK though!!!)



Next door was the Mercure, and it looked so nice from the website. Unfortunately it was $40 more expensive per night. A long blood curdling scream spread through my body, without escaping, as I suggested we might want to consider the Mercure upon our return from Belo Horizonte.

The Ibis “restaurant” was a buffet affair with breakfast including the traditional staples of cheese breads, coxinhas, sausage, along with ham, and cheeses etc. The coffee was, as you would expect, very good.


Sunrise in Campinas

I was not unhappy to be departing...making the assumption that my next destination, Belo Horizonte, was a pretty big city in the main mining region. (Equating to luxurious accommodation.)

........Azul and the flight to Belo Horizonte

 

[TonyHancock]

The LCC

You may be surprised to know that I do have some, all be it, limited experience with low cost carriers. I have experienced Jetstar, and some dreadful airline called Transavia; I have even flown with DJ once, many years ago. :shock:

Now I was faced with a short flight from Campinas to Belo Horizonte with a Azul. (Founded by the same chap who started JetBlue in the US.) I expected the airport at Campinas to be, in politically incorrect terms, a bit third worldy. I wasn't disappointed, although the Azul check in area was quite modern. I knew I would have to check luggage and was prepared with my padlock. What I didn't expect was that luggage would be included in the price. :shock:



Having checked in two and a half hours early we found a bar and had a couple of rather large G&T's. Very heavy on the G aspect. ...hic..

Boarding involved a bus. What joy.

The aircraft was an Embraer 195 and was modern. IFE was in each seat back with a credit card swipe facility, although it was free. Leg room seemed better than on a QF 737 or a JQ 320, but perhaps I was just imagining that.



The flight was about an hour and the FA's set about taking soft drinks orders from all passengers. These were duly delivered on a tray about 10 drinks at a time. Packets of crisps (chips to you American types.) were also handed out. No charge for this.

We seemed to be in the air for the briefest of moments and were soon "bouncing" down the runway at Belo Horizonte in what can only be described as a particularly "stiff" landing.

Disembarkation was via an aerobridge and Belo Horizonte proved to be a very modern airport. My take on this journey was that Azul had provided a better overall experience than the ones I had from Jetstar this year.



Rental cars were off site necessitating the use of the shuttle bus. My hopes picked up for the accommodation in Bela Horizonte.

Next up......the horror of Belo Horizonte........

 

[sergeyvzn]

ohh, toughen up, princesses...

Ibis hotels in Oz are exactly the same. The chairs are also plastic - though not green. Mostly white. Some grey - were white once but all these bums sitting on them over years...
as someone who worked for Accor Asia Pacific for 5 years - this picture of your Ibis hotel room looked very nice. I have seen worse here (ibis World Square in Sydney, for example)

but of course you should've gone to Mercure or somewhere more upmarket, $40 is nothing

Now I finally understand your frustration about someone else doing your travel arrangments

I feel for you

 

[TonyHancock]

The Horror of Belo Horizonte :shock:

Actually the title here is a bit unfair on Belo Horizonte itself, but it just rolled off the tongue as I was putting this together.

I don't like to be too flashy when I rent cars. In Australia I tend to go for a Camry, whilst in the UK I'll try for a Vauxhall Insignia. If I am traveling with other folk I may go for a Commodore or in Europe some sort of station wagon. There were three of us in Belo Horizonte, all with luggage. Admittedly two of us had made the trip with carry on, but our American colleague appeared to have traveled with all his worldly possessions and perhaps those of his neighbour too.

Even without hindsight I'd have to say that a Ford Fiesta would not have been my first choice, especially since we were traveling in a region with more hills than The Sound of Music. Once we had crammed our luggage and ourselves into the car it was not long before it was very apparent that we were in a less than suitable form of transport. I'm not sure what first gave it away, but the clincher was being overtaken by a horse and cart on one particularly steep hill. I'm not sure it was fair to say that our car had less than one horsepower but it felt that way.

This was not a good start, and in truth the omen was there for all to see when the Sat Nav simply refused to take us to our hotel. By this stage I had been informed that we were staying at The Formule 1.:shock:

By the time we had negotiated the one way system, and any number of sharp inclines, a couple of times I did wonder if our Ford Fiesta actually had less than one goat power. Just as it seemed that we would never reach The Formule 1 it appeared in front of us.

They say it is good to experience new things. The Formule 1 represented everything that disproves that. Check in was tortuous with our passports disappearing for five minutes to a back office. We paid up front (I must remember to add the Formule 1 to the list of places that do not accept Amex) eyed up the security guard standing in the lobby.

Dining options were interesting. There was an area in the lobby that was not dissimilar to a service station, although it lacked the charm. You could purchase frozen meals and use the microwave to heat them up. I settled for a packet of ham (bacon?) chips and a beer, before scuttling off to my room. We had purchased breakfast when checking in.....I had no idea what to expect now.

To think that I viewed the Ibis rooms as a little sub par. The Formule 1 rooms were basic, but interestingly still included an LCD TV and thankfully air conditioning. There was no fridge and no plastic cups, the towels were about as thick as the cotton handkerchief given to me by aunt at Christmas....and not much bigger either. At least the internet worked!



Morning could not come soon enough, and when it did I was packed and ready to leave.

The lifts proved to be an interesting experience. There were two of them and could take four people with luggage at a time. I pushed the button and after three stops on my floor it appeared I was struggling. Every time the lift was full. Being a strategic thinker it only took me five minutes to work out that I would be better off going up rather than down. There would be fewer folk going up than down so I might be able to get a spot in the lift...and lo it worked first time. As a result of this cunning plan I managed to see every single floor in the hotel, and a fair few of the guests too,as the doors opened and the waiting masses peered in to see they would not be able to squeeze in.

Breakfast was in a room that was closed the previous night. It was a continental affair with small stools around circular tables. The coffee was very good.

...and so my Formule 1 experience duly ended and was followed by a little business in the area, and a superb lunch. I wish I had taken down the details of the freshwater fish I had for lunch it was truly excellent. In fact Belo Horizonte is a city that has a lot going for it.

...and for those who get to visit nice places, this is where I was for part of my day in Belo Horizonte.


Next up it is the journey home......

 

[TonyHancock]

The Journey Home Part One

I was somewhat ecstatic at leaving The Formule 1 in Belo Horizonte, and after an uneventful, some might say pleasant, Azul flight back to Campinas it was back to what I now viewed as the luxurious Ibis. It was a relief to be back there and even the dinner in the Ibis restaurant was almost 4 star. ($60 for two buffets and three bottles of wine - excellent value!...hic )

Two days of meetings and customer visits raced past and we were soon en route back to the palatial Holiday Inn in Sao Paulo. Before the return we did get to try Picanha homemade style.....and it was fantastic. The complete sirloin cut of beef was Argentinian and it was cooked in the traditional Brazilian style over an open fire. The only seasoning was some sea salt. I had fallen in love with Argentinian beef on my trip to Buenos Aires and this too was sumptuous. (Neil Perry couldn't half learn a bit in Brazil!)

Food in general was interesting almost eclectic, a mix of indigenous, Portuguese and African with added German for good measure! The sheer amount of meat consumed is astonishing.

With an 08:35 flight I decided I would have an early night in my presidential suite, actually King Size Bed room, at the Holiday Inn - it just seemed like the presidential suite after the Formule 1. :shock:

I was up at 05:30 and out of the hotel by 6:00 and en route to GRU in a taxi.

......Tam to EZE and an Australian minority Sports team

 

[thewinchester]

On Formula 1 properties, I have only stayed in one of these on a single occasion (not by choice, Qantas was paying thanks to a delayed flight ex-SYD). I agree with you and wouldn't stay there unless the world was about to end.

I have seen worse here (ibis World Square in Sydney, for example)

I believe Mal would agree with your assessment of Ibis World Square, having heard his stories about his recent stay. Needless to say, what I heard from him was enough to put it on my banned list.

 

[TonyHancock]

The Journey Home Part Two

In preparation for leaving Sao Paulo I checked the internet for information about Sao Paulo. I was interested in airport lounges as much as anything. GRU does not get the best of write ups on Skytrax. (All this year.)

“Immigration process of the airport is very confusing and it takes too long”

“The word that best describes this airport is ridiculous.”

“Not quite one of the most depressing airports in the world, but close to it.”

I have to say my experience was significantly different, although Y check in for TAM did look a little busy. The process of arriving at the airport to getting to the gate took less than 20 minutes.

Everything was clearly signposted and easy to follow. Maybe changes have been made in the last few months.

As it was I was at the gate early. I didn’t bother with the lounge and was quite happy watching some downloaded TV on my iPad. I was also conveniently sat next to wall socket, which allowed me to charge my iPod.

The boarding process was going to be interesting as staff setup three “lanes”. At first there was no signage, but about 10 minutes before boarding two lanes were given their own signs. These were row numbers. The economy cabin was split into two and one line was for the rear and one fro the front. (I can’t remember the numbers.)



The other row was for J and F, which I joined as soon as the boarding call was made. There were one or two familiar faces from my flight over the previous week too.

The 330 was newer than the one I had flown to GRU in, and the most noticeable difference was the size of the TV screens. :shock: They were huge, at least as big as those in the QF 380 suites. It was like being at the Birmingham Odeon.



I settled in and sat back, wondering if the Australian Sports Commission might consider sponsoring my next venture - The Left Handed Tiddlywinks Team to tour Bermuda later in the year. After all tiddlywinks had to be a minority sport didn’t it?

I’m not sure what led me down that thought process, but it seemed like a good idea. It didn’t take long for everyone to settle in, including The Australian Mens Volleyball Team, who appeared to be sponsored by The Australian Sports Commission. I could only hope that a significant portion of my tax dollars had gone into supporting volleyball in Australia and perhaps the tour to Brazil.

Watching take off on the big screen was quite impressive, as was the breakfast of fresh fruit, yoghurt, and toasted ham and cheese sandwich.



We were 15 mins late landing but there was plenty of time before QF18 departed.

Next up EZE and QF18..will Tony survive the 15 hour flight?

 

[TonyHancock]

The Journey Home Part Three

EZE is getting a whole new international terminal. How do I know this? Well TAM flight JJ8000 docked there. It all looks very swish. Sorry no photos, I was too busy dashing to the transfer desk in the existing terminal. A good 10 minute walk. Why was I dashing? No onward boarding pass and the Australian Volleyball Team behind me and in the same boat! :shock:

The transfer desk is located near Gate 5 and there was already a queue 7 deep when I arrived, it was significantly longer by the time I had my two boarding passes in hand - QF18 and my onward flight to MEL.

The Admirals Club has free internet and a help yourself bar. It was crowded and a bit threadbare. Nothing else to say really! :-|

QF18 was delayed! This information was relayed to passengers in the form of a change to the display board. We would be 20 mins late. Not a big drama, but with the crew still waiting to board the aircraft 20 mins before our newly scheduled departure time it looked optimistic.

When boarding was called it did not look promising. Signs indicated Business and status pax to the left and everyone else to the right. What is wrong with that I hear you say, well, nothing, however the business/status line was roped off and everyone was directed to the same line. This was actually handled very well with a boarding call for pax with small children, or needing assistance, and then business and status pax. It was enforced with pax being sent back if they did not meet the criteria.

That “turning left” feeling was, again, most satisfying; amenity kits were waiting next to each seat and pyjamas were distributed immediately. The two FA’s handling the “F” section of business were as professional, attentive, and customer service focussed, as any I have encountered during my travels. The service was excellent and conducted in a manner that Joyce should be striving for on all routes.



Lunch



I chose not to have anything to eat for the light supper and one of the FA’s made a point of catching me as I left the bathroom to ask if there was anything she could get for me that might not be on the menu. The other FA made a wine recommendation that proved excellent and demonstrated real engagement with the pax.

The 14+ hours passed quite quickly, the food I had was good, rack of lamb for lunch, and as usual my iPad served as the IFE. We made up the lost time and arrived in SYD five minutes late.

Yellow Fever? How was I to know I needed a vaccination certificate? Smart Traveller website you say? This little exchange resulted in a 10 minute sit down with an immigration officer who was tasked with taking my details and advising me that if I felt ill I needed to go to my doctor and let hime know I had been to Brazil.

My iPhone pinged at me. It seemed one of my future flights had changed. It was likely to be one of the ones after March when the QF schedules changed, but I checked anyway. The “MyFlights” app showed it was my next flight to MEL. I was on a flight half an hour later than the one in my booking. “Oh gosh” I exclaimed.

Had I not checked I would have found out when my boarding card was rejected at the BP scanner at the transfer bus door. I would have been on my way back to the transfer desk and had another dart through security to look forward to. I would have thought QF may have sent an SMS...but no.

I had the flight changed back to the original one and then had to pop into the J lounge to get myself an aisle seat that wasn’t in the first row. (I like to keep my backpack under the seat in front of me.)

Off to the gate next......looking forward to priority boarding.....:shock:

 

[Sprucegoose]

Great TR mr Hancock.

Yes yellow fever thingo is one to watch. I carry my vaccine certificate everywhere.

 

[JohnM]

Great TR mr Hancock.

Yes yellow fever thingo is one to watch. I carry my vaccine certificate everywhere.

I have mine stapled inside the back cover of my passport to ensure I always have it with me.

 

[drron]

Well your Formule1 room looked just like mine at MEL only newer!
Also on your trip back the F as J cabin looked nicer than the F is F cabin on QF1!:shock:

 

[TonyHancock]

The Journey Home Part Four (AKA Mr Grumpy and Priority boarding)

I was already a little testy by the time I had left the J lounge at SYD Domestic. Part of me feels sorry for the effort that QF made to change my flight in anticipation of the late arrival of QF18, but the systems at QF really do not help the team that has to use them. Don't you think that once the change had been made an SMS would have been sent? So with BP Mk III in hand I headed to the gate 30 mins before departure in a bid to see what impact RedRoo may have had on priority boarding.

The inbound flight was not there so on time departure was at best highly unlikely. I was due to fly on a 737 800 and fortunately I was at the pointy end. I believe the technical term for the gate/pax ratio is "rammed". Dandenong Rangers basketball teams were spread around the gate and it was clear this was going to be a full flight.

An FA mingled with the crowd inspecting bags. It wasn't long before she latched on to me. I had already overheard her requesting that bags be checked in and I knew it would not be long before it was my turn. I did after all have a carry on and backpack....and worse a yellow carrier bag with duty free in it. :shock:

"You seem to have a few bags there!" She said. "You will need to check the carry on."

"No thank you!" I replied politely, but firmly and explained that I was returning from an overseas trip and had carried the bags on all of the way so far.

She relented quickly and said it would be fine as long as my backpack went under the seat. (I had changed from the first row of J for this very reason.)

Phew....close call. Technically she was right.

The flight for Perth was boarding at the next gate and what was this? An attempt at priority boarding? Certainly seemed that way. J, WP, SG, OWE, and OWS were asked to board with pax needing assistance or those with small children. After about 3-4 mins economy pax were asked to board by row number. :shock:

I remained seated confident in the knowledge that I too would experience this rare treat. As the first words came across the PA I knew I didn't have to rush, I could have my DYKWIA moment and push through the assembled throng. I smiled the smile of man sniffing a great victory.

"QF467 to Melbourne is now ready for boarding." echoed around the boarding gate. :shock:

"Eh? Golly gosh that doesn't seem to be right." I said, or words to that effect.

What followed was my undignified scramble to get somewhere near to the gate in the throng of people who appeared to be attempting a mass rugby scrum. As I scrambled through and on to the aircraft I politely requested a complaints from. My carry on found it's way into an overhead locker without too much difficulty but I only just made it, as Y pax simply opened up the J lockers and crammed their luggage in on the way down to their seats.

I spoke to the CSM and aired my complaint about priority boarding. She was very attentive and sympathetic. She took my meal choice first and served me ahead of the rest of J. (The food was lamb with mash and was actually very good.)

When we landed she asked if I would like someone from QF to contact me about my complaint. I said "Yes please!"

I know we have a whole thread dedicated to priority boarding but quite frankly I just wish QF would just admit they can't deliver priority boarding and remove it as a benefit. At least then I know to stand directly in front of the BP scanner 30 minutes before departure. :-|

Next up the epilogue.......eventually!!!

 

[TonyHancock]

The Epilogue

What an emotional roller-coaster ride it has been, mmmmmm, whoops that is a completely different epilogue, errr ah yes, Brazil, yes I remember now I went to Brazil on a business trip. It was my first journey to Brazil and I wasn't kidnapped, nor did I find myself stood in front of an ATM with a gun to my head. I'm rather pleased about the latter, I had so much trouble getting money out of the ATM I went to voluntarily that I would almost certainly have been shot by a very frustrated thief. It is also looking likely that I haven't contracted yellow fever, but I won't be able to confirm that for a couple of days. All in all a reasonably successful trip.

You really do need to be a meat eater in Brazil, it seemed to me that if it moved and was fauna the Brazilians would shoot it and barbecue it. At one lunch there were forty different meats on offer, ranging from small birds to bison. (I swear one meat was a rat type animal.:shock The steak was spectacularly good.

My experience of Azul, the LCC, was nothing but positive. Unlike Jetstar there didn't appear to be a need to charge pax for just about everything. The Embraer 195 was modern, comfortable and really did not feel cramped compared to the A320 or 737, and that just seemed odd. :?: Apparently Azul has been very successful with it's passenger loads and I can see why from my experience.

The less said about Formule 1 the better, but Ibis was OK, nothing flashy but comfortable enough. I almost enjoyed my stay at the HI, but then again compared to everywhere else is it was palatial! In all of the hotels the internet was pretty poor, but then the locals pretty much had that view of the internet in general in Brazil.

TAM J, EZE-GRU-EZE, was pretty good. It is only a 2 and a bit hour flight but the "sleeper" seats and meal service were good. (Not as good as the long haul QF J product but this wasn't long haul.)

The FA's on QF18 were outstanding, and on QF17 they were OK. It gets back to consistency again and QF does not do consistency well. I experienced priority boarding failure on both my domestic legs. (As in no call at all other than flight is "now ready for boarding". This really is pitiful.

I struggled with the whole meet and greet thing. Brazilians love to shake hands and then pat you on the shoulder, which turns into a bit of a hug when you know someone a little better. :shock: Not being good with personal space invasion this was a little off-putting, even with my new-found metro-sexual status. (I have yet to purchase hand cream though, and am not sure if I will! Do you think I should?))

All up I didn't dislike Brazil, and that places it above...well the majority of places I have traveled to.

My travel reverts back to the humdrum for the next 10 months with my regular commute to LHR every couple of months and the odd NZ, BNE, SYD, and PER trip thrown in for good measure, but that is not going to stop me inflicting more dire, verbose, comma laden TR's upon you. I have a FASA and a BA F trip coming up to bore you with and I want to produce a detailed comparison between the QF 380 F toilets and the BA 747 F toilets.

Thanks for reading my egotistical drivel, and thanks for all of the comments.

 

[sergeyvzn]

All well that ends well
That said - just wait a little longer for those yellow fever symptoms to appear

 

[Mollycram]

I have really enjoyed reading your trip report over the past couple of weeks and am now sad you have finished. Love your sense of humor. Will look forward to reading your next epic adventure!

 

[Kylie36]

Enjoyed both of your recent TR's Tony, you definately have a way with words .

 

[Fantic125]

Nice TR Tony, and I think you should get the hand cream....