A bit of humour

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straitman

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I propose the Hvr is banned from the jokes thread! 😂😅😆😄
Unless he starts telling real (read funny) jokes!
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Major

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A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.
UP
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v]. It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, lookUP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP! Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U P ! Did that one crack you UP? Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . it's UP to you. Now I'll shut UP!
 

TheRealTMA

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A reminder that one word in the English language that can be a noun, verb, adjective, adverb and preposition.
UP
This two-letter word in English has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that word is 'UP.' It is listed in the dictionary as an [adv.], [prep.], [adj.], [n] or [v].
It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP? Why do we speak UP, and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report? We call UP our friends, brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver, warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and fix UP the old car. At other times, this little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UPexcuses. To be dressed is one thing but to be dressed UP is special. And this UP is confusing: A drain must be opened UP because it is stopped UP. We open UP a store in the morning but we close it UP at night. We seem to be pretty mixed UP about UP! To be knowledgeable about the proper uses of UP, lookUP the word UP in the dictionary. In a desk-sized dictionary, it takes UP almost 1/4 of the page and can add UP to about thirty definitions. If you are UP to it, you might try building UP a list of the many ways UP is used. It will take UP a lot of your time, but if you don't give UP, you may wind UP with a hundred or more. When it threatens to rain, we say it is clouding UP. When the sun comes out, we say it is clearing UP. When it rains, the earth soaks it UP. When it does not rain for awhile, things dry UP. One could go on and on, but I'll wrap it UP, for now . . . my time is UP! Oh . . . one more thing: What is the first thing you do in the morning and the last thing you do at night? U P ! Did that one crack you UP? Don't screw UP. Send this on to everyone you look UP in your address book . . . or not . . it's UP to you. Now I'll shut UP!
You forgot the Western Australian use of the suffix “UP”!
 

Hvr

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'Up' is an interesting word when you can 'nude up' and 'dress up' and achieve the exact opposite outcome.
 
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drron

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Actually in Laos I am very attractive to young women.A fat belly is a sign of the Happy Buddha.
 

TheRealTMA

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Actually in Laos I am very attractive to young women.A fat belly is a sign of the Happy Buddha.
Tasmania is the place for you I would suggest, judging the lipstick on the glass.
 
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