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A bit of humour

pjm99au

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Not sure if this is funny or a bit sad. The Heritance Kandalama Sri Lanka wine list is quite extensive with a selection of wines from around the world. In the sparkling section Australia is represented by two wines. One of which is Passion Pop at AUD$80 PER bottle :rolleyes:

68B1E1A6-D993-4A77-9174-1069D5502423.jpeg
 

Hvr

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Which word has 5 letters, but becomes shorter if you add 2 more?




Short.
 

Hvr

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A two word joke:




Dwarf shortage.
 

cosi

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A parishioner was in front of me coming out of church one day, and the priest was standing at the door as he always is to shake hands.
He grabbed the parishioner by the hand and pulled him aside.
The Priest said to him, "You need to join the Army of the Lord!"
The parishioner replied, "I'm already in the Army of the Lord, Father."
The Priest said, "How come I don't see you except at Christmas and Easter?"
He whispered back, "I'm in the secret service."
 

Bundy Bear

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I have heard that this can cause a problem if you are staying at an overseas hotel that didn’t have toilet paper.

752DA010-D4D6-4751-86D9-601B61AA3C58.jpeg
 

cosi

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“A labor and green paradise would be a place where everybody has guaranteed employment, free comprehensive healthcare, free education, free food, free housing, free clothing, free utilities, and only law enforcement has guns.”

And believe it or not, such a place does indeed already exist.

It's called Prison."
 

drron

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A young woman brought her fiancé home to meet her parents. After dinner, her mother told the girl's father to find out about the young man. The father invited the fiancé to his study for a talk.

"So, what are your plans?" the father asked the young man. "I am a biblical scholar," he replied "A biblical scholar, hmmm?" the father said. "Admirable, but what will you do to provide a nice house for my daughter?" I will study," the young man replied, "and God will provide for us."

"And how will you buy her a beautiful engagement ring, such as she deserves?" asked the father. "I will concentrate on my studies," the young man replied, "God will provide for us." "And children?" asked the father. "How will you support children?" "Don't worry, sir, God will provide," replied the fiancé.

The conversation proceeded like this...and each time the father questioned, the young idealist insisted that God would provide.

Later, the mother asked, "How did your talk go, honey?" The father answered, "He's a Labor voter. He has no job, he has no plans, and he thinks I'm God.
 

Maca44

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The reason the old criminal's new young wife could not fall pregnant is he was a safe blower
 

Hvr

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I quite like whiteboards. In fact, they're remarkable.;)
 

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