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A bit of humour
- Thread starter Maca44
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mrs.dr.ron
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Oh, people, you're too harsh. I like some of hvr's jokes. They have a certain je ne sais quoi. 
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Given the weather we've been having, appropriate I think.
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I can't believe I did that .
.
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Neither can I!I can't believe I did that
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mrs.dr.ron
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Major
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I think this has been posted before but if not...
Conundrum
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winter's morning,
“Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back, "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later, "Computer really cough**d now."
but if not...Conundrum
Wife texts husband at work on a cold winter's morning,
“Windows frozen, won't open."
Husband texts back, "Gently pour some lukewarm water over it."
Wife texts back 5 minutes later, "Computer really cough**d now."
mrs.dr.ron
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Flashback
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John is in a queue at the Supermarket when he notices that the rather attractive young lady behind him has just raised her hand and is giving him a big 'hello' .
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, John can't place where he might know her from, so he says, 'Sorry, do you know me?'
She replies, 'I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children'
John's mind harks back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, 'Blimey!' he says, 'Did we meet on Mark's stag do in London? He continued, 'When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.'
'No' she replies ......
'I'm your son's English Teacher'.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although her face is vaguely familiar, John can't place where he might know her from, so he says, 'Sorry, do you know me?'
She replies, 'I may be mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children'
John's mind harks back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, 'Blimey!' he says, 'Did we meet on Mark's stag do in London? He continued, 'When I got out of the police station and got back to the hotel room you had gone.'
'No' she replies ......
'I'm your son's English Teacher'.
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Ha ha 
codash1099
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Flashback
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A little silver-haired lady calls her neighbour and says, "Please come over here and help me.
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
"According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces
into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ..........
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get started."
Her neighbour asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"
"According to the picture on the box, it's a rooster."
Her neighbour decides to go over and help with the puzzle.
She lets him in and shows him where she has the puzzle spread all over the table.
He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box, then turns to her and says,
"First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces
into anything resembling a rooster."
He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax.
Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then," he said with a deep sigh ..........
"Let's put all the Corn Flakes back in the box."
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Do you know what happened to the dog that swallowed a watch?
It got ticks.
It got ticks.
codash1099
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