17 Things Your Flight Attendant Won't Tell You

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The pay thing was new I me also, but most if the rest of it is nothing too dissimilar to what you'd hear from anyone working in customer service.
 
The way they are paid here must be different, and the duty hours there must be different, as I can imagine them being delayed and going over hours before even getting paid not going over well!
 
Thought I'd put in my 2 cents.

1. You know that coffee you ordered? It's actually decaf even though you asked for regular. We'd rather that you sit back, relax and fall asleep so you don't bother us too much. Our airline sent around a memo wondering why the decaf supplies were going so fast, noting that decaf costs more than regular coffee.

I could never give someone something they didn't ask for.

3. Our airline used to pay us when we showed up for duty at the airport. That was eons ago. Then we got paid our measly hourly wage when the cabin doors closed. Then it was when the plane's brakes were released. Now we get paid only when the wheels leave the ground ("wheels up" in airline parlance). We don't even get paid when we're taxiing! There can sometimes be hours of delay between the time we show up for work and when we're airborne. Different airlines have different policies, but it's a way for them to save money. So when we greet you at the door, we do that for free. When we serve you your pre-flight drink, we do that for free, too. No wonder our smiles are so fake.

I didn't know they were paid like this either. My hours are calculated like this: 1hr 25min before departure (1hr when overseas) until the aircraft arrive at the gate plus 30 minutes. At EK I believe it's door shut to door open.

7. Please don't ask me what we're flying over. I'm as clueless as you are. I am not flying the plane.

Agreed!! You have the moving map :) But I will always ask the pilots if you enquire exactly where we are flying over.

11. I want to yank your headphones off your head after I've asked you what you want to drink and you've responded "huh?" three times. After the fourth time I just move on or give you a Coke.

I think every flight attendant would agree with this. Please pause your movie or take off your headset when they are talking.

Also, the answer to "tea or coffee?" is not "yes please".

12. Yes, we do ask the captain to leave the seatbelt on long after the turbulence has ended so we can serve in the aisles.

This wouldn't apply to us as the seatbelt sign on means everyone including crew must be seated, so there is no advantage to having it on unnecessarily.

13. On night flights, we sometimes hold off on meal service as long as we can so that you'll be asleep and we'll have less to do.

On night flights, we get the service done as quickly as possible!
 
PAy thing was a new thing to me.

I thought they seemed to rush the dinner service so they can get a rest and the plane sleeps.
 
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I've noticed point 2:

2. When we "arm" the doors on your aircraft, each flight attendant checks the work of his colleague at the opposite door. You've heard it a million times: "arm doors and cross check." Did you hear "crotch check?" It wasn't your imagination. We get silly sometimes. And yes, despite all the cross checking -- maybe because we're checking crotches instead -- once in a great while we screw up and we forget to arm the doors, which means the emergency slides won't automatically deploy if needed in an emergency. We can get fired for that.
Click to expand...

Qantas don't do "crotch checks" anymore but Virgin still announce they are! :p
 
The US style is around in Aust, with QF domestic pilots paid based on Block Time (breaks off to breaks on). Long haul are on a different model, more like the one described above for cabin crew.
 
Lot of this is very US-centric, I can literally hear them up in the galley whispering in that really strong accent "Let's just make it DEE-CAAAFF" :D

Love number 15. Have just survived a couple of holiday season flights and those precious little monsters made life on board hell not only for the crew but for all other passengers as well :shock:

I've said it before and I'll say it again: There is no reason in the world why an under 3 year old should be traumatized (and hundreds of other paying passengers inconvenienced) only for the egocentric parents to have a nice far away holiday. I'd say no children under 3 on airplanes in general unless you can proof in writing that you have a really good reason for it (medical treatment, grandmother in England is dying from cancer and wants to see her grandchild before she goes or similar...). :evil::shock::mad:
 
I'm surprised that the FA who wrote that article didn't mention the other kinds of undesirable non-infant pax on a plane, e.g. the suave smooth-talking passive-aggressive, or the one who constantly reminds you of how many miles / status credits / EQMs / dollars they spend on the airline per year as they ask you to bend the rules, or generally those pax who commit reprehensible acts to FAs (and/or other pax) who would be unlucky to be arrested once the aircraft lands and would be even unluckier if they get put onto a no-fly list and would be the unluckiest person if they actually served jail time for their action. I'm livid about the last types as there are several adults who seem to be able to do what they want, hurt FAs (either verbally, physically or professionally) and they will never face consequences of their actions. If they did the same thing on the ground they would be charged and jailed. Instead, many of them invoke an "out of character" defence and are lucky to be let off with a fine. It's disgusting, and I'm surprised that whilst FAs in the US have more official powers relating to the reporting of incidents, FAs in general have not campaigned to have the laws and sentences made more stringent with respect to aircraft conduct.

And then we have #16... are you kidding me? Why would you poke a FA? Would you poke any other total stranger? Or anyone else in the service industry for that matter? Anyone who even thinks of doing that (unless they are deaf / mute / have another disability which prevents them from speaking) is an idiot.

I'm surprised that this FA generally hasn't said that people tend to forget to pack their manners with them when they travel. I know lack of oxygen can do weird things to people's senses sometimes....... I'm sure there are many FAs who would love to put many pax in their places, so to speak, but of course cannot do this (unless said pax is breaking a law or the like).

Bottom line - FAs are people too. They are primarily there for our safety. They are not a temporary butler or maid, and even then they deserve to be treated with respect, just like you would for any other good-standing human being.
 
Right after September 11 when UA and AA in particular laid everybody off, I worked with a number of former UA pursers and FA's late 2001-end 2002 ish.

I was gobsmacked when they explained to me that (at that time) they got paid from "pushback".

They did seem to have some tricks (or really it was just the play of the game) to ensure pushback occurred before confirmations of ground holding :)

One of the pursers who had years of experience was one of our parking lot attendants! Any work was good work at the time!
 
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