Weekend in Centre-Earth

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Skyring

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Our Ayers Rock adventure begins in Canberra. Sleepy businessmen and public servants clutching folders of briefing documents, setting up laptops with a lounge cup of autoespresso, staring at the political news on the television.

In my khaki cargo pants, I stand out. My travelling costume, I’ve swapped my everyday white shirt and dark tie for a red check shirt and scuffed brown shoes. My wide belt, Velcro and plastic, is designed to go through metal detectors without a beep, but if I wanted to, I could hang water bottles, machetes and utility pouches from its sturdy web. I’ve got my broad-brimmed slouch hat with me, and I’m dressed for the outback.

My wife is dressed less dramatically. As ever.

Our commuter plane arrives and is turned around efficiently by a crew of yellow jacket ground staff, snaking luggage trains and power carts around with the ease of children playing chasey.

First and Final Call for Qantas flight 1462 to Sydney, the loudspeaker cheerfully announces, and we’re off, my wife pausing tolerantly as I fuss and focus with my new toy camera.

I capture the propeller blades spinning into power, hauling us around past the cabyard, down the taxiway where the sleek jets, bullet-shaped and saucily decorated, are lined up at the terminal.

The pilot lets it go and we race down the runway and into the air, climbing above offices, roads, suburbs and dwindling paddocks full of drowsing kangaroos.

I love this part. The world turns into a map, Google Earth made real, and I have to be dragged back in through the window to face breakfast, which turns out to be cooling coffee and a tiny plastic banana loaf, lost in a box big enough for a dozen.

It’s only a half hour flight, but there’s plenty to see as we loop around Sydney. The western suburbs stretch out, punctuated by industrial parks full of warehouses and trucks, railway lines with commuter trains shuttling back and forth, schools and green ovals, here and there a mall surrounded by asphalt carparks filling with a morning tide of shoppers.

We bank and glide in, the city, harbour bridge and opera house dark shapes against the glare. Four cruise ships are scattered around the docks, including P&O’s Arcadia, whose chief purser keeps a well illustrated blog of the Grand Voyage, mandatory daily read for me, prospective passengers, and ex-cruisers in England whose mournful comments are blanketed in snow.

We land briskly on the main runway, our landing roll a fraction of the longhaul jets nosed into the international terminal. I gaze out, trying to spot the bright new Airbus A380 superjumbo, and suddenly there it is, a puff of smoke from its multitude of tyres as it arrives from Los Angeles.

We shop in the terminal, searching for a broad sunhat for my wife and clip-on shades for me. Browsing too enthusiastically in one shop, I spill a pack of cards over the shop floor. “You’re the third person this morning to do that,” the attendant smiles reassuringly, before finding a strip of tape to seal the box shut.

Our flight to Ayers Rock waits at a gate, when we tire of shopping. The seats in the gate lounge are filled with travelers from all over the world, Japanese tourists with technocool cameras, chunky Americans with hefty digital SLRs, and tall Europeans flipping through guidebooks, all anxious for the outback.

There’s another wait after boarding, captain blaming luggage arriving late from international flights. The baggage handlers are flat out in the cavernous luggage decks of that Airbus, hauling down the sober black nylon bags of efficient American tourists, Dallas to Ayers Rock in three hops.

At last our jet is whipping down the runway to the north, quick left turn taking us over the Blue Mountains covered in trees leaning over sandstone cliffs.

Farmland and forests up past the ridges, and as we fly steadily west, shades of pink begin to appear in the green fields below. Pink and then red and finally there is nothing but ochre.

Lake Eyre is on the flightpath, a great flat expanse slowly filling with water from the floods up north. The landscape below is delicate swirls, dottings of trees, pastel colours and endlessly fascinating.

Our snack for the flight is a sandwich sealed in plastic. Ham, cheese and lettuce, with an ingredients list in small type that stretches on and on for dozens of lines of things you never thought you’d find in a simple sanger.

Scraps cleared away, we’re angling down to our destination. I’ve selected a seat on the left side of the plane, in response to a tip on the Qantas Insider website where to sit for the views of Ayers Rock on approach.

Not disappointed. Some fine shots out the window. The Japanese lady in the aisle seat hands over her camera – a lovely little thing with a touch-screen back – for some shots and she smiles and bobs her head when I hand it back.

And then we are down, rolling along the single runway, making a turn on the hammerhead, quick out, grab the bags and hop on the free resort bus. Gone are Canberra’s suits and button-down collars. Here are broad hats, casual shirts, tanned arms and relaxed faces. The bus driver swings behind the wheel, closes the door and we’re off into the ochre landscape.

“Please fasten your seat belts, ladies and gentlemen, and when we go around this bend, you’ll see Ayers Rock ahead of you.”

QF1462 VH-QOI Q400
Canberra-Sydney 20.2.9
Scheduled: 0800
Boarding: 0745 (Gate 14 – ramp)
Pushback: 0800
Takeoff: 0802 (to North)
Descent: 0824
Landing: 0845
Gate: 0850 (16)

QF728 VH-VXR “Shepparton”
Sydney-Ayers Rock 20.2.9
Scheduled: 0950
Boarding: 0930 (Gate 9)
Pushback: 1007
Takeoff: 1024 (34L to North)
Descent: 1125 (NT time)
Landing: 1147
Gate: 1150
 
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Flowers in the desert

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We turn a corner, and there is the Rock, quite a long way away actually, but it somehow fills the windscreen. Cameras click and chirp all over the bus. Mine included.

Only a short ride to the Yulara resort, with accommodation options ranging from campground to luxury hotel, and the bus driver fills it up with good advice about drinking plenty of water, wearing protective clothing, and putting on sunscreen and insect repellent.

The flies are plentiful in the summer, he says, and face veils are available for a few dollars apiece. I’ve read some very caustic online comments about the flies, and I was half expecting to be immediately covered with a thin black layer of insects upon arrival.

The flies are an irritant, to be sure, and they don’t disappear until the sun sets or the first frost of winter, but I soon find that a bit of insect repellent and the good old Great Aussie Salute is sufficient. None of the staff are wearing the veils, I notice.

The landscape, Ayers Rock aside, is quite alien. The soil is red sand - the bright rusty-orange ochre of the Australian desert. Here it is mostly covered with small grassy bushes, low to the ground, some skinny trees with pale green leaves, and larger trees that look hard and ancient. No wildlife visible - everything seeks shade and shelter during the day.

Ten minutes got us from the airport to the resort complex. When the old airfield, campground and motel were closed down last century, several different firms built and operated hotels in competition with each other at the Yulara site, which is actually quite some way from the Rock, outside the designated park.

Eventually one firm, Voyages (which also operates resorts around Australia such as Dunk Island in Queensland or El Questro in Western Australia) gained control of the whole resort site and now operates it as a monopoly. I was wondering what effect this would have on prices, but so far I couldn’t complain about the bus ride.

We pull up outside Sails in the Desert, which is the high end of the accommodation range here. Billed as five star, but again, several online reviews give a far lower rating. Only a handful of guests alight here, and the remainder, headed for the bottom end campground and tourist lodge options, stare enviously after us from the bus windows.

We are approached by porters, who offer to vanish our luggage and reappear it in our rooms. I surrender my big yellow bag to them, but Kerri keeps her rollaboard. How she manages to travel with hand luggage alone is a mystery to me.

There’s a souvenir gallery at the entrance, prices ranging up to several thousand dollars, but it looks well-stocked and wonderful, and I make a note to return for a closer examination.

Check in is well-staffed. As it happens, we get the young lady behind the “Japanese check in” sign, and an odd thing happens. The manager appears as soon as we give our names, introduces himself - “Hi, I’m Doug” - and makes a few comments about the Qantas travelwriting competition for which this trip was a prize. One of the conditions is that I have to submit a 500 word story for publication on the Qantas site, and I suspect that the manager wants to smooth over any difficulties.

While I am very glad to meet him and to chat about the resort, he really needn’t worry. For a professional article, I’m not going to mention anything negative unless it’s a major and longstanding flaw. Stuff like poor room service or a dirty swimming pool could be a one-off and long corrected by the time my article is published and readers turn up (or not) in response.

So far, I’m impressed. We move outside the spacious lobby - I notice a stack of free newspapers, Wall Street Journal among them, by some comfy looking couches - and the middle of the hotel is taken up by a sheltered courtyard about the size of a football field or two. There is a grove of pure white ghost gums, a generous expanse of lush green lawn, a big blue swimming pool, and everywhere there are bushes, flowers and planter tubs.

“It’s all local vegetation,” Doug explains. Sourced from sheltered valleys and riverbeds rather than the open desert just outside, but it’s a peaceful place to rest the eyes. The triangular white shade sails that give the hotel its name are strung from masts, an intriguing series of shapes that block the bright sun.

We are led into the Red Ochre Spa. Part of the prize package involves hour long treatments here, and we selected from a wide range of treatments, each of them sounding more pleasant than the last. Kerri has opted for the deep tissue muscle massage, and I’ve selected the “Total Wellbeing Experience”, which is based on foot and back treatments. We meet the staff, confirm our appointments, and the manager leads off to our room.

There’s a moment’s hitch with the key. It’s an actual metal door key, not one of those swipe cards. “The sand outside is full of iron,” we are told, “and it ruins the magnetic codes.”

We’ve been upgraded to a spa room, which turns out to be a huge room for a hotel, with as much space again outside on a deck/balcony offering a splendid view out over the courtyard. The spa area can be screened off by shutters, should we wish to jaunt in the jacuzzi.

King-size bed, enough seating for a football team, mini-bar fridge full of reasonably priced goodies, bathroom stocked with fragrant oils and lotions. This all looks very comfortable indeed, and we sink down gratefully into the chairs. There’s no noisy airconditioner. Instead chilled water is pumped through the walls, keeping everything bearable. From the few minutes we’ve spent outside in the high noon, we can judge the room temperature to be... perfect.

A knock on the door before we fall asleep, and it’s the porter with my duffle bag. Perhaps he’s more used to hauling crocodile-skin valises about, but my big yellow LL Bean rolling duffle has been around the world five times now, veteran of a hundred airliner holds and baggage carousels, and I wouldn’t leave home without it.

I’ve packed a change or two of clothing, a broad-brimmed army slouch hat complete with puggaree, some hiking boots, a jumper against the chill of evening, a tripod and a few books, including the Lonely Planet guides to travel writing and photography. Paul Theroux for inspiration, if I need it.
 
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Re: Flowers in the desert

Great report so far Skyring. Would love to see pictures of the room - sounds like it is awash with splendour!

There’s a souvenir gallery at the entrance, prices ranging up to several thousand dollars, but it looks well-stocked and wonderful, and I make a note to return for a closer examination.

I'm hoping this is not like those crazy pricing schemes like on the Gold Coast which are "catered" for international traffic, particularly naive Asians. :rolleyes:

While I am very glad to meet him and to chat about the resort, he really needn’t worry. For a professional article, I’m not going to mention anything negative unless it’s a major and longstanding flaw. Stuff like poor room service or a dirty swimming pool could be a one-off and long corrected by the time my article is published and readers turn up (or not) in response.

But when a TR goes up on AFF and there are quite a few of us with valuable $$$ to spend, nothing is sacred or withheld! Right, Skyring? :D :mrgreen:
 
Maybe he'll be reading your TRs for inspiration skyring!

Great TR, as always.:mrgreen:

And yeah, dont spare the negatives on AFF, we seem to prefer them.:rolleyes:
 
Re: Flowers in the desert

We are approached by porters, who offer to vanish our luggage and reappear it in our rooms. I surrender my big yellow bag to them, but Kerri keeps her rollaboard. How she manages to travel with hand luggage alone is a mystery to me.

Looks like you've found yourself a keeper! :D
 
I dips me lid.Great report in your own great style.
A few shots of the room would be great.We stayed there way back when it was a Sheraton-when they were filming Evil angel with Meryl Streep-who had the room next to us in Alice Springs-another brush with fame.
 
There was one huge negative.

My reading of the online reviews told me that the Sounds of Silence tour was something that was universally popular. Only a few mild criticisms, even from people who savagely attacked the hotel.

I was keen to get shots of the Rock at sunset, and video of the didgeridoo player. Plus the talk by a local presenter on Aboriginal star myths sounded pretty special. The dinner wasn't included in the prize, but I was happy to fork out the steepish price for what sounded like a marvellous meal.

After checking my flights on the Qantas site, I noticed on a sidebar ad that I could book the tour through Qantas. I put my details and preferred day through and got a response "subject to confirmation". This was for dinner on Friday, booked on Wednesday night, so it was late notice, but it's not the high season in Central Australia, so I was optimistic.

Thursday I got a series of mist calls from a blocked number. They hung up too quick. Then an email from the booking agency saying Friday night was booked out, but Sunday was OK. I responded that I'd be home in Canberra on Sunday night, so what about Saturday?

I got three more responses, all from different folk with Indian-sounding names saying the same thing and ignoring my question. Then a phone call when I was actually at the resort, saying they had tried to contact me but failed. She didn't know about the emails, but said the Saturday night was booked out. Bugger it.

Well, fair enough. If I leave a booking to the last moment while others have gotten in weeks or months ahead, I can't complain if I miss out.

I'd asked the manager about the tour and he pointed me towards the booking desk in the foyer. He said that it was very difficult, given the nature of the tour, to add another table or to open up a second site. Numbers are limited by seats on the bus and at the tables.

So I was extremely disappointed to think I might have missed out on the experience.

As it happened, there were places available on the Saturday night, when I asked at the desk. I didn't get the impression that I was being given special treatment or that another site had been set up. The dinner guests didn't quite fill the coach, and there were maybe half a dozen seats vacant at the dinner tables.

So the Indian call centre Qantas uses for their tour bookings were just stringing me along. Maybe they didn't have the full story, maybe they were trying to boost numbers for the Sunday night, I don't know.

But it was stressful and upsetting experience all the same. Not the resort's fault at all - I thought I was getting a jump by using the Qantas link, but my best bet would have been to go through the resort's website.

The dinner itself was about as pleasant and delightful a meal as I've ever had. More on that later.
 
Very poor effort, Skyring! I would definitely complain, and be asking WHY?!
 
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Re: Flowers in the desert

...and makes a few comments about the Qantas travelwriting competition for which this trip was a prize. One of the conditions is that I have to submit a 500 word story for publication on the Qantas site...
Great report... can see how you won. Please let us know when the Qantas articled is published.
 
Very poor effort, Skyring! I would definitely complain, and be asking WHY?!

Well especially given the reason he is on the trip i expect that he should get a decent response to the complaint.

Love the TR so far :)
 
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