Thanks for all the suggestions guys. Most of them were defeated by information you didnt have which is I am travelling with my wife and 16 month old daughter - for 2 weeks in QLD.
I am sure you can imagine the luggage including oversize we will have!! It also meant I couldnt change the J flight of ADL to BRIS as the only earlier one leaves at 0605 - before junior wakes. I tried two different people in call centre with same result.
Good news though is we have an outcome. I emailed VA complaints at the same time as posting here, and got concerned when it said a response may take 15 days (although it did mention sooner for plat, gold and business). I got a phone call this afternoon from a helpful VA chap who arranged for me to be able to change the BRIS to EMER leg to a later flight a no charge whatsoever.
Now whilst this means a 4 hours layover, this solution would have made me happy from the start. It is a shame it took as much energy as it did to get there. Needless to say I have learned my lesson about connections!!