Two errant lines intersect in Chile, a TR with two perspectives.

[love_the_life]

Hurry up. I'm still breathless and run the risk of fainting soon....

 

[juddles]

My masterplan commenced long ago, in a place far far away. Truly grand schemes require such forethought and preparation. And I am a true professional.

Anyone who has read my posts will probably also have fallen into the erroneous belief that I love travel, that I grew up in Chile, that I have lovingly restored my family’s old home here, etc etc. But that whole “reality” was just a charade, and for that deception I beg forgiveness from the innocent in this forum. But for the greater good I had to deceive, in order to lure The Botanist in….

I do not have a “holiday house” in Chile. I actually never set foot in the country until last year when the CIA plan required it. They even made me pose for photos on ridiculous rocky points and stage photos of “out there” wine and vegetables. All to play to what the Company (CIA to everday folk) had organized to reel in this vile foe. (Funny but true – I actually learnt Spanish in Darra, an ethnic community in Brisbane!!)

Anyway, ever the consummate professional, I took on this particular mission with great energy. Some of the deeds The Botanist had done were breathtaking. Nauseating, but I saw here a level of hideousness that formed in me a personal crusade, a desire to be the Chosen One who would vanquish this blemish on human civilization.

For many years this one mission has been the centre of my existence. I had to both learn my foe, and learn the character that would successfully bring him in. Quietly sliding into AFF was a very well planned and executed process. We studied his every post (some lurkers are not travel people ) and worked out exactly what bait was needed – thus the “juddles” identity and the Chilean connection was formed and the process began…

 

[juddles]

Skipping past the incessant years of research and preparation, essentially the Company worked out that to take out The Botanist, a psychological attack was the appropriate tool. Violence was ruled out due to his apparent love of remote messed-up countries. Blackmail would be useless against a man without moral restrictions. Direct threats, again useless against a person who actually CHOOSES to live in Perth!!! This was a tough one…

So the Company worked out what would psychologically destroy this person. And in the Company we can be perceived to be cruel - but essentially we believe in using a sledge hammer when a tap could do the job.

In psychological warfare you must learn your target – what makes them tick, what they love, what are the emotions that drive them, their desires and sources of pleasure. And above all, what their true weaknesses are. Some people strive for recognition, they feed off notoriety, others have to have the best in life and show it off. Others are pretenders but live with their own charade, pretending to be more worldly or more important than others. Some cover their own smallness with travel to exotic locations so they can brag. Some even get into such trivialities as “wine appreciation” where they are in an environment that they can be unchallenged snobs. Humans have many many weaknesses, but in the case of The Botanist our original dilemma came when we realized he suffered the entire gamut of these! So which do we specifically use and target???

In the end we chose his wine fascination. This is where truly deep emotions can be easily manipulated, and we were playing safe.

And so the plan was hatched….

 

[juddles]

Yet another exotic trip, yet another chance to be a snob and post photos of wine – at the end the plan became simple.

Once he was lured into Chile, I started my real mission. Little visits to some wineries, vineyard photo-opportunities, the usual. And in he fell. In spy-vs-spy operations, there will always be secondary threads happening – hidden agendas and so forth. And I am sure that The Botanist was successfully led to lose his guard by letting him carry out these.

It was painful. His annihilation of pisco production, the massacre of the foxes – each of these despicable acts truly hurt. But we had to make him feel in control, they were necessary collateral damage

But during these minor skirmishes, I started to execute the Grand Plan.

Between looking for ever new wines to taste (really it was for his need for photo opportunities) I started to drop a few hints. A few emotional morsels of taste. I let him know that as an exalted guest I had asked a wine-buff friend to source me a special drop to appease this VIP visitor. And that the friend had duly done so – found me an EXTREMELY rare bottle of red wine.

But I just slowly, over the days, let out a few snippets about this bottle, knowing that this would start to drive him wild in anticipation. And it worked.

Every day The Botanist would ask more questions. Stuff like “so what varietal is it?”, “what vintage”, etc etc etc. And I just flippantly said a lot of vague things without really answering his questions. I let him know that it was somewhere in my cellar and that one of these days we would crack it out. I managed, through manipulation of the itinerary, to delay the much-anticipated unveiling of this prize until today

 

[juddles]

So this is the moment that I retrieved the legendary wine - mysteriously held in an ancient box:



Note the seriousness of the Botanists face! He even donned his best pair of glasses. At that moment we could have had an earthquake, but his mind was focussed! Finally he was mere seconds from The Answer.

 

[juddles]

This is clearly not a usual bottle of wine! I know his true emotion was of the excitement of posting bragging photos of a rare wine experience, and the uniqueness had nothing to do with the actual beverage, but this is what wine is all about......

 

[juddles]

As he gingerly removed the wine from its cradle, his hands fumbled with excitement.

 

[juddles]

Overcome with excitement, his hands tore furiously at the packaging. Like someone taken back to boyhood and Christmas presents, he lost all defenses and became meek. It was all too good to be true! He transformed into a possessed mess of gleeful expectation.

 

[juddles]

And then came the magical moment - the Reveal!! By God I enjoyed those few milliseconds. The look on his face, the desperate disbelief, as his eyes and brain finally realised that what they were seeing was reality. A $3.80 bottle of Dan Murphys cleanskin "Soft Red".

I love this photo. I captured the moment, in which he erupted into into a chilling howl of pain and disbelief. This wail was deafening. The very Earth almost split. I stopped filming as I had to cover my ears, but The Botanist, after that eternal wail, slowly fell to his knees and collapsed.

I had won. I destroyed him.

 

[juddles]

After several hours of my foe lying in a pool of desolation, I hauled him out onto the deck and suffer the total humiliation, I forced him to drink it!

Not just drink it, but suffer the shame of knowing I would take a photo, and gleefully post it in that rarefied thread of wine snobs, so they could also ridicule the fallen Master

 

[juddles]

Good night all, my work is done here now. Thanks for the memories

 

[drron]

Oh jumbles.This thread is rivetting.Sometimes I wish I was there but then I think what devilish punishments he would have in store for drwrong.I have decided I am not a masochis_ so remain safely ensconced in Tasmania far from the evil of Chile.

 

[RooFlyer]

A $3.80 bottle of Dan Murphys cleanskin "Soft Red".

I don't get it. What's wrong with that?

 

[love_the_life]

The plan and its execution literally took my breath away. I was laughing so much I couldn't breathe!
I see you in a totally new light Juddles.
But....will there be a counter attack? Maybe something involving rum?

 

[Pussels]

John, OMG man! I didn't recognise you without the beard. What year did you take it off? You have aged very well ''ol boy, - must be due to the pickling effect of all that pisco and wne, right, ..........salud!!

 

[VPS]

@juddles you need to get that book written. Just set up a gofundme page to support you for a year and I'll donate

 

[JohnM]

Well, needless to say, I CAN’T BEAT THAT!

 

[JohnM]

I don't get it. What's wrong with that?

I did suggest to @juddles that I take the unique and rare ‘Chilean’ wine home to share with @Daver6 because he wouldn’t know the difference....

But we couldn’t resist consuming this rarity .

We think we can safely say that it’s the only bottle of this wine in Chile .

How can I seek revenge from such a foe? I simply cannot.

Vanquished, I now grovel at my Master’s feet...

 

[JohnM]

Oh jumbles.This thread is rivetting.Sometimes I wish I was there but then I think what devilish punishments he would have in store for drwrong.I have decided I am not a masochis_ so remain safely ensconced in Tasmania far from the evil of Chile.

Wimp...

 

[JohnM]

The Master making pebre (aka Chilean chimichurri) while we slurp an excellent Viognier sourced today in the Limari Valley, about 50 km away and a very diversified agricultural region. Yet another sensational day .