Scott K
Member
- Joined
- Sep 18, 2017
- Posts
- 266
I have always been fascinated by Rube Goldman Machines, and I am desperate to see the one Qantas uses for transitioning points from their Online mall and other locations, into our points accounts. I reckon it must be spectacular as it seems to operate over a period of months.
Not sure what a Rube Goldman Machine is? Think: the ‘Mouse Trap’ board game – or at least the fun plastic bits any kid actually plays with. Or even any clip by the band ‘Ok Go’.
I first became aware of the Rube Goldman Machine system when I heard about people’s points from Jetstar taking increasingly longer to transfer from JQ to QF. As often happens with these things the media becomes involved and oddly overnight the time for those transfers dropped down to pretty much nothing.
From this I deduced that the points must fall off some kind of conveyor and into a bucket. Here a candle burns the string holding the bucket, which then falls into a tiny sailing boat that gets launched by a rubber-band out into Sydney Harbor. There a magnet catches it onto a passing ferry where a homeless man picks up the bucket somewhere around Manly a few days later after and hangs onto it for a while unaware of the points contained inside. Eventually a police officer finds the bucket in the man’s possession while harassing him one night, and notices the ‘property of Qantas’ tag on the side. From here the points are promptly taken Qantas HQ then deposited into the requisite account.
The sudden change to a single day transaction hinted to me that they maybe just gave the homeless guy a job, and he now spends his days carting the points from JQ to QF in a timely manner. Probably in a rusty old Ford Transit van that breaks down occasionally, causing the odd random couple of days delay.
The Qantas Mall on the other-hand is a different beast altogether. As anyone who has tried making one of these Rube Goldman things knows, no matter how much effort you put into the setup it will most likely fail right at the first step. This seems especially true with both the Mouse Trap game and the QM. Many a time I’ve swung the boot in ‘Mouse Trap’ and been disappointed by the sheer lack of anything happening afterwards. It’s a bit like my dating life in my late 20’s come to think of it; but I digress.
That transition from the QFP site across to the iTunes app and subsequent store? I reckon I’ve seen maybe 50% of the points that should have come from that. They’re accidently booted off the side, never to be seen again. Considering the value of the points they usually aren’t worth the cost of the extended phone call/s (often plural) required to get them – if that can even be achieved at all.
But what of the points that do start to make the journey? I really wonder. I’m not even sure how the mechanism even starts. I have often thought maybe the points are held aloft waiting for a pigeon to come and collect them with a specially made hook attached to its feet, fluttering by maybe once or twice a season. But then the transfer times ballooned out from around a month to approaching quarter of a year. Whoooooaaaa…. Where do those points go for that time? This Rube Goldberg Machine is clearly impressive in scale.
Being an airline, Qantas has a world-wide stage with which to play with and plenty of planes to play it across. As points have no actual physical mass there’s no logistical problems that will cause fuel burn, so why not! I imagine the points are delicately poured into a faux velvet lined box – kinda like the Chinese do when packaging a piece of wild ginseng root. The lid snaps shut and locks, the motion of this causes the box to slide down a Teflon slide where it builds up speed. I’m sure this is where the points disappear the most, as there’s nothing to stop it falling off the sides; especially the slide that comes from Ebay, which has become one of my biggest points deficits.
From here they drop onto a skateboard where with their built-up high velocity they are flung with a rattle across the room then hit a brick and are catapulted up into the air. Eventually they land on a balloon which floats up into check-in area of T1 at Tullamarine Airport (or as the Qantas Website refers to at the time of writing as ‘Tullermarine’) where they hit a pin above the baggage conveyor causing the points to drop onto a suitcase.
Once out the tarmac the points are used as incentives for the baggage handlers to handle luggage properly. They achieve this by being the fall-guy for any frustrations the handlers have at the time, as it is QF policy to let them throw the points around as violently as they want. It doesn’t really work though as the mass-less points are very unsatisfying to chuck. But sadly sometimes these points end up getting left on the tarmac. Probably my points from ‘Hardtofind’ are here somewhere.
If they do make it onto the plane, I’m sure our points enjoy a world-wide tour where they get to see the Queen, and with any luck may also end up inside a mountain in North Korea where they get to witness a nuclear explosion. We’ve lost a few points here too.. I’m sure.
They are eventually picked up by backpackers looking to make a quick buck, where they are brought back and exchanged for special plants that some backpackers love. The trouble is sometimes this plant stock occasionally falls into other traveller’s luggage, causing all kinds of problems at Denpasar airport after being found in wakeboarding bags. No one really knows who is growing these plants or if Qantas baggage handlers themselves are exchanging them personally to get missing and lost points back.
Whatever happens at this point, the baggage handlers grab them and make sure the points make it onto a plane to Brisbane where they are transferred onto another plane to Longreach - where ‘Qantas started’, just to grow some extra Qantasness. They don’t actually do anything here other than sit in a dark storeroom and get pooped on by rats for a while until someone, somewhere, says ‘Yep, those points are good to go’ – and thus they are whisked back on another plane to whatever city the account-holder lives in, to be dropped directly into that person’s phone.
Thank Fudge the points from Qantas Wine come across quickly. I would hate to see what would happen with the points at the hands of a group of people who have an unlimited access to alcohol to fuel their imaginations.
Not sure what a Rube Goldman Machine is? Think: the ‘Mouse Trap’ board game – or at least the fun plastic bits any kid actually plays with. Or even any clip by the band ‘Ok Go’.
I first became aware of the Rube Goldman Machine system when I heard about people’s points from Jetstar taking increasingly longer to transfer from JQ to QF. As often happens with these things the media becomes involved and oddly overnight the time for those transfers dropped down to pretty much nothing.
From this I deduced that the points must fall off some kind of conveyor and into a bucket. Here a candle burns the string holding the bucket, which then falls into a tiny sailing boat that gets launched by a rubber-band out into Sydney Harbor. There a magnet catches it onto a passing ferry where a homeless man picks up the bucket somewhere around Manly a few days later after and hangs onto it for a while unaware of the points contained inside. Eventually a police officer finds the bucket in the man’s possession while harassing him one night, and notices the ‘property of Qantas’ tag on the side. From here the points are promptly taken Qantas HQ then deposited into the requisite account.
The sudden change to a single day transaction hinted to me that they maybe just gave the homeless guy a job, and he now spends his days carting the points from JQ to QF in a timely manner. Probably in a rusty old Ford Transit van that breaks down occasionally, causing the odd random couple of days delay.
The Qantas Mall on the other-hand is a different beast altogether. As anyone who has tried making one of these Rube Goldman things knows, no matter how much effort you put into the setup it will most likely fail right at the first step. This seems especially true with both the Mouse Trap game and the QM. Many a time I’ve swung the boot in ‘Mouse Trap’ and been disappointed by the sheer lack of anything happening afterwards. It’s a bit like my dating life in my late 20’s come to think of it; but I digress.
That transition from the QFP site across to the iTunes app and subsequent store? I reckon I’ve seen maybe 50% of the points that should have come from that. They’re accidently booted off the side, never to be seen again. Considering the value of the points they usually aren’t worth the cost of the extended phone call/s (often plural) required to get them – if that can even be achieved at all.
But what of the points that do start to make the journey? I really wonder. I’m not even sure how the mechanism even starts. I have often thought maybe the points are held aloft waiting for a pigeon to come and collect them with a specially made hook attached to its feet, fluttering by maybe once or twice a season. But then the transfer times ballooned out from around a month to approaching quarter of a year. Whoooooaaaa…. Where do those points go for that time? This Rube Goldberg Machine is clearly impressive in scale.
Being an airline, Qantas has a world-wide stage with which to play with and plenty of planes to play it across. As points have no actual physical mass there’s no logistical problems that will cause fuel burn, so why not! I imagine the points are delicately poured into a faux velvet lined box – kinda like the Chinese do when packaging a piece of wild ginseng root. The lid snaps shut and locks, the motion of this causes the box to slide down a Teflon slide where it builds up speed. I’m sure this is where the points disappear the most, as there’s nothing to stop it falling off the sides; especially the slide that comes from Ebay, which has become one of my biggest points deficits.
From here they drop onto a skateboard where with their built-up high velocity they are flung with a rattle across the room then hit a brick and are catapulted up into the air. Eventually they land on a balloon which floats up into check-in area of T1 at Tullamarine Airport (or as the Qantas Website refers to at the time of writing as ‘Tullermarine’) where they hit a pin above the baggage conveyor causing the points to drop onto a suitcase.
Once out the tarmac the points are used as incentives for the baggage handlers to handle luggage properly. They achieve this by being the fall-guy for any frustrations the handlers have at the time, as it is QF policy to let them throw the points around as violently as they want. It doesn’t really work though as the mass-less points are very unsatisfying to chuck. But sadly sometimes these points end up getting left on the tarmac. Probably my points from ‘Hardtofind’ are here somewhere.
If they do make it onto the plane, I’m sure our points enjoy a world-wide tour where they get to see the Queen, and with any luck may also end up inside a mountain in North Korea where they get to witness a nuclear explosion. We’ve lost a few points here too.. I’m sure.
They are eventually picked up by backpackers looking to make a quick buck, where they are brought back and exchanged for special plants that some backpackers love. The trouble is sometimes this plant stock occasionally falls into other traveller’s luggage, causing all kinds of problems at Denpasar airport after being found in wakeboarding bags. No one really knows who is growing these plants or if Qantas baggage handlers themselves are exchanging them personally to get missing and lost points back.
Whatever happens at this point, the baggage handlers grab them and make sure the points make it onto a plane to Brisbane where they are transferred onto another plane to Longreach - where ‘Qantas started’, just to grow some extra Qantasness. They don’t actually do anything here other than sit in a dark storeroom and get pooped on by rats for a while until someone, somewhere, says ‘Yep, those points are good to go’ – and thus they are whisked back on another plane to whatever city the account-holder lives in, to be dropped directly into that person’s phone.
Thank Fudge the points from Qantas Wine come across quickly. I would hate to see what would happen with the points at the hands of a group of people who have an unlimited access to alcohol to fuel their imaginations.
