A bit of humour

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A group of American tourists walked into a pub in Dublin.

One of the Americans said, in a loud voice, "I hear you Irish think your great drinkers. I'll wager €5,000 that no-one here can drink 30 pints of Guinness in 30 minutes."
The bar went silent, the American noticed one Irishman leaving, no-one took up the bet. 40 minutes later the Irishman who left returned and said "Hey Yank, is your wee bet still on?"
"Sure" said the American, "30 pints in 30 minutes for a bet of €5,000."
"Grand pour the pints and start the clock." It was very close but the Irishman managed to consume the last drop with 2 seconds to spare.
"Ok yank, pay up."
"I'm happy to pay, here's your money" said the American. "But tell me, when I first offered the wager I saw you leave. Where did you go?'
The Irishman replied, "Well sir, €5,000 is a lot of money to an Irishman, so I went to the pub across the road to see if I could do it." :)
 
President Putin and his driver were on their way to Kyiv in a car when all of a sudden they hit a pig near a farmhouse, killing it instantly.
Click to expand...
Putin told his driver to go up to the farmhouse and explain to the owners what had happened. About one hour later Putin sees his driver staggering back to the car with a bottle of Horilka (Ukrainian vodka) in one hand, a cigar in the other and his clothes all ripped and torn.

"What happened to you?" asked Putin.

"Well, the farmer gave me the Horilka, his wife gave me a box of cigars and their 19-year-old and 21-year-old daughters made mad passionate love to me simultaneously.

"My God, what did you tell them?" asks Putin.

The driver replies, "I'm president Putin's driver, and I just killed the pig."
Click to expand...
 
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