A bit of humour

[marki]

britexit is winning according to the latest polls

Contemplating life post-Brexit:


Source: Telegraph, UK

 

[amaroo]

britexit is winning according to the latest polls

Go you good thing ... I'm voting, YES!

 

[Foreigner]

Will be quite a momentous event for Britain


PS: i said this too soon...politics-related killing of Labour MP today:

http://www.theguardian.com/politics...endum-live-osborne-brexit-budget-leave-tories

 

[Major]

A blonde hadn't been to church for many many months.
She always promised to go, but never did.
One day, the pastor was astounded when
she suddenly showed up for Sunday service. Thereafter, she was at every Sunday service,
every prayer meeting, every home group meeting,
etc.
Three months later, one Sunday after the service, the Pastor
asks her, "What happened to you? You always dodged church and now
it looks like you can't get enough of it?"
She replied, "It's this
new car of mine, Pastor; they told me the warranty will lapse if I
miss even one service!"

 

[Foreigner]

Two football players, Bubba and Tiny, were taking an important exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week.

The exam was “fill in the blank” and the last question read, “Old MacDonald had a_____.”

Bubba was stumped -- he had no idea what to answer, but he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. “Tiny, what's the answer to the last question?” Tiny laughed, then looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed. He turned to Bubba and said, “Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows that Old MacDonald had a farm.”

“Oh yeah,” said Bubba, “I remember now.” He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. Then he stopped. Tapping Tiny on the shoulder, he whispered, “Tiny, how do you spell farm?”

“You are really dumb, Bubba. that's so easy,” hissed Tiny, “Farm is spelled ‘E-I-E-I-O’.”

 

[Foreigner]

The Bride kissed her father and placed something in his hand. Everyone in the room was wondering what was given to the father by the bride. The father could feel the suspense in the air and all eyes were on him to divulge the secret and say something. So he announced, "Ladies and Gentlemen, today is the luckiest day of my life." Then he raised his hands with what his daughter gave him and said......, "My daughter has finally returned my Credit Card to me!!!" The whole audience burst into laughter. But one was in complete silence...... The Groom

 

[anat0l]

Warning: a little bit of strong language, but the main warning is nerd humour alert.

No, seriously. If you are not a nerd, you are not going to understand squat. On the other hand, if you are a nerd... :mrgreen:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/nerdy-jokes?utm_term=.pr1nZVLw6#.rme97QOlN

 

[JessicaTam]

Warning: a little bit of strong language, but the main warning is nerd humour alert.

No, seriously. If you are not a nerd, you are not going to understand squat. On the other hand, if you are a nerd... :mrgreen:

https://www.buzzfeed.com/daves4/nerdy-jokes?utm_term=.pr1nZVLw6#.rme97QOlN

I did like the Volkswagen.

And yes, I did get them all. *sigh*

I might have to go and have five beers.

 

[Foreigner]

A couple, hosting a dinner party, were interrupted when the maid called the hostess to the kitchen.

"Ma'am, the cat climbed up on the kitchen counter and ate the lot of the fresh salmon."

Light on her feet, the hostess told her to replace the missing portion with canned salmon, then returned to her guests. As everyone enjoyed the fish, the maid summoned the hostess into the kitchen again.

"Ma'am, the cat is dead!"

The frightened hostess felt obliged to inform her guests and suggested everyone go to the hospital together to get their stomachs pumped.

Returning home after their long, expensive, and embarrassing ordeal, she asked the maid where she had put the cat.

"Nowhere, Ma'am. It's still out in the street where the car hit it!"

 

[GarrettM]

I did like the Volkswagen.

And yes, I did get them all. *sigh*

I might have to go and have five beers.

I didn't get the Volkswagen. I did like the velociraptor though, and all the mole references.

 

[Ikara]

This is an interesting concept for the future in aircraft tyres, but I don't think it will take off!

Boom, boom!

 

[JessicaTam]

I didn't get the Volkswagen. I did like the velociraptor though, and all the mole references.

The Volkswagen is affectionately known as a Bug. But the numberplate disagreed and said it was a 'feature'

 

[GarrettM]

The Volkswagen is affectionately known as a Bug. But the numberplate disagreed and said it was a 'feature'

The Bug bit I get, but there is no way I would have cracked the feature reference. That is hyper-nerdy.

 

[JessicaTam]

The Bug bit I get, but there is no way I would have cracked the feature reference. That is hyper-nerdy.

I will take that as a compliment.

 

[love_the_life]

My brother sent me this. I apologise if people find it ageist or sexist

 

[Moindardt]

The Bug bit I get, but there is no way I would have cracked the feature reference. That is hyper-nerdy.

I just read it with my nerdy eldest daughter and the only one we couldn't work out was the bug/feature. I even said "I don't know what feature has to do with a bug. Maybe a reference to Herbie (as in feature film)". Thank you for the answer as it was "bugging" us

My favourite was the Formaldehyde.

 

[get me outta here]

I have been known to send my youngish adult daughter in to do a spot of negotiation. Only because I seem to be invisible to them if she is there. :shock:

My brother sent me this. I apologise if people find it ageist or sexist

View attachment 73608

 

[Foreigner]

Political hokum...


(Source: The AFR)

 

[penegal]

Sign of the times?

 

[marki]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SAHvLAJ-5aQ


Seriously this is a sign of the times ...... And ROTFLMAO