Very scared of flying and no one really understand because Im a frequent flyer

[robinyoung]

Hello and I am very pleased I found this site! What a great source of information.

Like many here, I am a very frequent flyer internationally and have seen most of our beautiful world.

I guess I stumbled into this site because I have a terrible fear of flying, which my friends just don't understand because they cannot see how a person scared of flying could travel as I do all over the world for pleasure.

If I had to go to Darwin, I would drive from Sydney, ensuring I had a extra week to get there. Not because I like driving but because I will do anything to avoid flying. Internationally of course, I cant do this.

My fear is almost at the panic stage as we take off and descend. It is becoming crippling.

Now, when one doesn't have this fear, I expect one will say "suck it up cupcake" and that's what I do, but I wish I could deal with this. (I am an RN and I take blood and put in IV cannula, and find it something I cant understand how such a small little jab can bring a full grown man into a full on panic state of mind), so I don't expect others to understand my fear.

I recall when my fear started.... on a Aeroflot flight from Cameroon in Africia to Moscow many years ago. I was certain we would die. Prior to this, I had not a care in the world.

The only time I felt my fear lesson , was 2 recent flights Sydney to LA on the A380 in July this year. The reason I believe i felt less fearful was a) I could watch via live web cam when we ran down the runway and took off ascending though the clouds. Same for the descent! No idea whay this didnt make me more scared, but I guess it was to do with fact I could see us going up (my fear is about coming crashing down) If only this was available on all flights. However, I then had over 20 flights through he USA that had me panicked. b) the size of the A380 with the number of passagers made me feel like they would have been "extra careful" making sure plane was ok to fly as so many souls are on board.

My fear is getting worse, but I still fly, travel and spend all my time planning my next vacation overseas.

I wish I could enjoy being a frequent flyer.

 

[simongr]

Given the extent of your frequent travel I think this greeting is appropriate

Welcome
Welkom
Mirë se vjen
Wellkumma / Willkumme
أهلاً و سهلاً
Bienveniu / Bienvenius
Բարի գալուստ! (Bari galu'st)
Բարի՜ եկաք: (Pari yegak)
Ghini vinit! (plural) Ghini vinishi! (singular)
Xoş gəlmişsiniz!
Ongi etorri
Menjuah-juah! Horas!
Вiтаем (Bitaem - We greet you)

স্বাগতম (shagotom)
स्वागत बा (swagat ba)
Dobrodošli
Degemer mat
Добре дошъл (Dobre došãl) >1m
Benvingut (>m), Benvinguda (>f), Benvinguts (pl), Benvingudes (pl/f)
Maayong pag-abot
Bien binidu / Buen binidu
марша вагIийла хьо
歡迎
欢迎
歡迎光臨
Dynnargh dhis
Benvinuta
Dobrodošli
Vítáme tĕ
Velkommen
Welkom
A me di o
Bonvenon
Tere tulemast
Woezor
Vælkomin
Tervetuloa
Bienvenue
Agradît / Benvignût
Benvido / Benvida
Willkommen

To your original comment we had a similar thread posted about a frequent flyer having fear issues - might be some insights in that thread for you.

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....cussion/my-freakin-flyer-hubby-can-40636.html

 

[yohy?!]

Welcome to AFF, you should definitely feel that you are not alone in your fears - many people have issues with flying (including myself). I have found a number of things that have helped me over the years to overcome this:

-Learn everything you can about flying, I've found the more I understand about the physics and mechanics of aviation the less likely I am to be scared by a strange noise or a steep bank or turn.

-Watch Air Crash Investigations, probably sounds weird I know but this I think has helped 'desensitize' my imagination to fear of a plane crash - it's also nice to know that in a lot if instances people do survive them too.

-Avoid caffeine and alcohol the day before and the day of flying, these will just increase your nervousness so best to avoid (pharmaceuticals also, things like vicodin etc can sometimes wear off or become tolerated so it's best to treat the pyschological fears themselves than just the symptoms). You could also try Valerian tea as a natural herbal relaxtant (camomile or peppermint are also good).

-Get in a routine: visit the lounge, have some food and drink, send emails, board flight, stow baggage, read the paper or a book, go to the toilet after the seatbelt sign is off. You probably already do this as a coping mechanism but if not it really helps to be busy and structured in your activities when you fly to stay occupied.

-Noise cancelling headphones: I put these on just before take off to dampen the noise of the engines at climb power, it really seems to help calm my nerves.

 

[robinyoung]

Thank you both for your welcome (especially in just about every language, LOL). Loved it.

Thanks for the link to, to the other thread...I will go and have a look see now!

yohy?! Great suggestions...especially about the noise cutting out headphones. The noise as you know, or engines does unsettle me, and many times I sit there with my fingers in my ears, rubbing them back and forth so I cant hear all those noise. I never thought of headphones.

I have watched air crash investigations and although it is unsettling, I find a "very small" amount of comfort in the fact, most of these events were many years ago (so we have improved,right?) and many are on little airlines I would never fly with!

 

[defurax]

-Learn everything you can about flying, I've found the more I understand about the physics and mechanics of aviation the less likely I am to be scared by a strange noise or a steep bank or turn.

-Watch Air Crash Investigations, probably sounds weird I know but this I think has helped 'desensitize' my imagination to fear of a plane crash - it's also nice to know that in a lot if instances people do survive them too.
.

I completely agree. I used to be terrified of flying and one day I started reading reports and watching TV shows about crashes and accidents and it completely obliterated my fears. Now I'm almost enjoying turbulences like it's a free ride at the amusement park!

Sent from my HTC Desire using AustFreqFly

 

[robinyoung]

Ok, I will start reading up about flying and about noises and turbulence etc etc. Up till now, I have avoided these details, but since they have helped those here, I will give it a go!

 

[robd]

If you have some spare time, I would also recommend "Ask The Pilot" -

http://www.australianfrequentflyer.com.au/community/your-questions/ask-the-pilot-30478.html

There's some technical stuff in there, but there is also alot of questions being answered that you may have wanted to know the answers to. It's a really interesting read.

 

[robinyoung]

Sometimes I would prefer to just not know. It is amazing how information given to passengers that is meant to be helpful, can end up causing fear in another. For example...

In May I was booked on an American Airlines flight Vancover to New Orleans via Denver. This was about my 5th flight with AA in last few weeks and I was beginning to feel comfortable with them, and less stressed each time until..............We boarded the plane and of course "I" spotted a maintenance man climbing inside the engine. After about 1 hour on the ground, we were informed we would have to be unloaded and alternative flights found as the engine had severe damage from a bird strike last night as it came in, and it had not been reported. (I guess when the pilots were doing checks, they found the issue)

Well, I had got into a comfortable place with AA till them, but as soon as I realized a pilot had never reported the bird strike, or maintenance had never acted on it, it undid all the good "moving forward" I had done. I just could not believe something so major was not reported, and the risk of "what if we had taken off" came overpowering me. This sort of thing unrattled me for every flight after that with AA.

So this little bit of info that in reality I would have much preferred not to know, put me back as I was moving forward. I am sure some will understand.

 

[robinyoung]

Thank you for the suggestion about "ask a pilot". I will go check it out!~

 

[moa999]

There was also a post a while ago about a course that Qantas ran, that some found very useful

 

[moa999]

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....ussion/fear-of-flying-course-report-4890.html

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....-airline-discussion/fear-of-flying-17995.html

 

[markis10]

Do a course that is designed to remove those fears!

Fearless Flyers Inc.

I would highly recommend it having met many of the participants over the years when they came to talk to the Air Traffic Controllers, and its sponsored by QF, is a non profit organisation. There is even a trip report from one of our members who had a family member go down this path:

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....p-photos/tr-for-the-fearless-flyer-42791.html

 

[robinyoung]

Thank you all so much... the links and the info re courses etc is invaluable! I will follow that path.

 

[robinyoung]

On the "fear of flying course" I just read about, someone said the course has "given back their life". ...... I really understand that.

Despite flying internationally all the time, I feel I am robbed at this stage of doing short weekends away such as Sydney to Central Australia/Gold coast/melbourne etc for 3 nights when I see great deals come on, or something I can use my points on. I never book them because of my stupid fear.

Feel like I will take the plunge now, and do a course, ask a pilote etc and get out of this hole!

 

[defurax]

On the "fear of flying course" I just read about, someone said the course has "given back their life". ...... I really understand that.

Despite flying internationally all the time, I feel I am robbed at this stage of doing short weekends away such as Sydney to Central Australia/Gold coast/melbourne etc for 3 nights when I see great deals come on, or something I can use my points on. I never book them because of my stupid fear.

Feel like I will take the plunge now, and do a course, ask a pilote etc and get out of this hole!

I really hope it works out for you and remove all your fears. Since I've lost my fear of flying I think I could live my life just hopping from one flight to the other (like many people here I suspect).

 

[Blinky]

Hi robinyoung.

Until a couple of years ago I was much the same and went to the stage of refusing to fly back to Melbourne from Mildura and hired a car. I was so anxious about one very bumpy flight into Launceston that I went to the doctor, who prescribed me anti-depressants (without explaining exactly what he prescribed and all the side effects).

What definitely helps me is only sitting in an aisle seat. Even though I'm over the worst of my nervousness, I still don't like looking out the window on takeoff and landing. I did get over my fear through a combination of habit and having great faith in the professionalism of the pilots and maintenance crew. Pilots, after all, have a pretty big vested interest in the plane landing safely.

Any, good luck, and welcome.

 

[MAX_1]

Hi robinyoung,
Welcome to AFF. If you have an iPhone or i- anything , go to the iTunes store and search in the apps for " fear of flying" . Some free and some costing a few $$.
Hypnosis apps, information apps all there. I would recommend try some until you find one that suits you.
Good luck and hope you enjoy your flights more each time you travel.

 

[mella2007]

Good luck Robin. Part of facing your fear is to admit it and want to overcome it. That in itself shows the good character and determination you have. Welcome!

 

[robinyoung]

Thanks for suggestion about apps.... yes I have an iphone, so will go look see.

Wow... cant wait to actually want to jump on a plane!! That would be the best thing ever.

Blinky....I so hear you! Recently, I could not face flying from Las Vegas to LA and did as you did, hired a car. Instead of a 1 hour flight approx, it took from memory about 5 hours , but I didn't care! (considering I was driving on wrong side of road, into LA traffic , I am so aware I stood far greater chance of being killed or hurt, but fear isn't logical is it?) That was the only time on my last trip I actually backed out of the flight due to fear.

Ok, thanks for support again. So appreciated.

 

[katiebell]

I think BA also have a desensitisation course if you happen to be in the UK. Somw psychologists and pschatrists run individual desensitisation treatments. Phobias can be overcome: you just need tofind the right person/programme and persevere.

If you tell teh cabo crew they can often be very helpful too.

Everyone has at least onw phobia: itis just that some of us know what they are and others are yet to find out.

Good luck!