My husband wanted to stay at the HHV, as that's where he'd stayed on his first trip to Hawaii, which was without me. The main reason we chose Embassy Suites was the separate bedroom - meaning we could have a single hotel room, not two, but still be able to shut the door on Miss 2.5 without having to shut ourselves in the bathroom - which we did on at least two occasions in regular sized hotel rooms in Europe in 2008. I think your kids are older, but that suite room, and the included brekky, was the #1 advantage for us. We went to the pool almost every day, as Miss 2.5 didn't like the beach much, except to play with sand. There was a big spa, a small kiddie pool at one end, and then the regular pool, but they were all together. The pool was fine enough for our 2.5yo, with the $2.50 blow-up ring from the ABC store. If your kids are older, they might want a more exciting pool. And if you are around the pool late in the afternoon, you might score some choc-dipped strawberries from one of the chefs - they must hand out the leftovers after the honeymooners are organised.
I thought the hotel, and most everywhere, was kid friendly. Hawaiians love kids, and they didn't even get cranky when Miss 2.5 would join the hula dancing on stage each night at the happy hour. A great kid-friendly restaurant is Senor Frog, across the road from Embassy Suites and upstairs from PF Changs - there's an inflatable jumping castle in there! Great fun for kids, although most restaurants had some kind of activity pack they'd give her, this one had lots of kiddo activities going on as well.