Hidden costs to be exposed

[Platy]

I heard a rumour that Geoff Dixon was planning a change to the fleet purchase strategy and now has added the new Sopwith Lancashire to the A380, B787 and extra B737 purchase list. Apparently, the Lancashire has excellent fuel efficiency and is now regarded as the flying machine to bring home the bacon and is expected to completely rejuvenate the UK commerical airliner industry. A new maintenance facility will be based on the Darling Downs and there will be a Danish crew base. Rising fuel costs will be avoided by using biofuels to power the Lancashires with a new generation array of fermentation chambers replacing more traditional single combustion chambers. Competitive suppliers, Boeing and Airbus, have warned that the radical new design may not deliver claimed performance with composite materials replaced with hydroxyapatite load bearing struts supporting a mix of renewing organic materials. In return, Sopwith point to the failure of both the Boeing Dreamliner subsonic aircraft and the fantastical Airbus A350 and cite the long standing tradition of using flying animals to ferry passengers efficiently, including the Spruce Goose, Gunman Mallard and their own Sopwith Camel. Sopwith also believe that regular airline travellers are so industry savvy through rip off frequent flyer schemes, hidden charges and non delivery of advertised services, that most will not have a problem paying premium fares for the promise of a ride on a flying pig and many will regard huge airline profits as a sign that total confidence can be placed in airline management.

 

[straitman]

I heard a rumour that Geoff Dixon was planning a change to the fleet purchase strategy and now has added the new Sopwith Lancashire to the A380, B787 and extra B737 purchase list. Apparently, the Lancashire has excellent fuel efficiency and is now regarded as the flying machine to bring home the bacon and is expected to completely rejuvenate the UK commerical airliner industry. A new maintenance facility will be based on the Darling Downs and there will be a Danish crew base. Rising fuel costs will be avoided by using biofuels to power the Lancashires with a new generation array of fermentation chambers replacing more traditional single combustion chambers. Competitive suppliers, Boeing and Airbus, have warned that the radical new design may not deliver claimed performance with composite materials replaced with hydroxyapatite load bearing struts supporting a mix of renewing organic materials. In return, Sopwith point to the failure of both the Boeing Dreamliner subsonic aircraft and the fantastical Airbus A350 and cite the long standing tradition of using flying animals to ferry passengers efficiently, including the Spruce Goose, Gunman Mallard and their own Sopwith Camel. Sopwith also believe that regular airline travellers are so industry savvy through rip off frequent flyer schemes, hidden charges and non delivery of advertised services, that most will not have a problem paying premium fares for the promise of a ride on a flying pig and many will regard huge airline profits as a sign that total confidence can be placed in airline management.

Unfortunately close to the truth :!: