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"No, Nope, Nada....said every insurance company ever.They keep stonewalling - like the examples above - until you give up and go away!

now that's showstopping

I am reliably informed by MrMac - (a golfer for 60 years) that once he starts to play badly it's a sign that he needs another club or a new putter. He's been trying to buy his way out of trouble for many many years

Instal movement detector lights that will go on when anyone goes into the back garden at their place. Hire a trampoline and have a few mates over, add plentiful alcohol stand back and watch the show. Play opera. Loud. Spread Dynamic Lifter around (that's also helpful for your new plantings...

Yup & mine was Village Gold. I really wanted to see the film so just rocked up & same as you the three times I tried failed and only one other couple. I put on my cranky granny face but the staff couldn't give a fig

You do realize that they'll never be happy about anything you do?We had a cranky old sourpuss living next door to us; she confiscated tennis or footballs and wouldn't give them back even when the kids went and asked politely. Eventually one day I asked her what brand of vinegar she drank every...

Where do papers get these 'journalists'? In this week's food section a story about new restaurants - I read 'gildas served with jamon and potato crisps'. What is a gilda? Then 'Well regarded restaurant...is about to open a sophmore location seaside'. So are we in America? We would say sister...

Who would want to be judged by 12 people not smart enough to get out of jury duty?

A priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into a bar. The bartender asks the rabbit "what'll ya have?". The rabbit says "I don't know, I'm only here because of Autocorrect"

My dad, newly emigrated from England in 1949, thought the best sun care for me as a child was to mix petroleum jelly with sea water. Stand back and watch the little fair haired girl fry! 70 years later......for years now I've had skin checks every 6 months and a have a very lovely plastic...

Even with my reading glasses on, one huge bugbear is trying to decipher the 'use by' date on stuff.

Got 'em already......they've stopped working so well! 1737948787 I had no trouble reading the price. Blimey!

I actually bought a magnifying glass the other day because I couldn't read the instructions on the back of a food packet. I also needed it for the Melways. Turning 76 ain't for sissies!!

Well I can happily say we have watched our resident 2 bird families have their offspring fly away this week. Mr & Mrs Blackbird's 2 babies have left the nest, ditto Mrs Spotted Dove's 2 have finally left their spot on top of my market trolley, so I'm happy to have that back after 6 weeks of...

My understanding of physics is shady at best but my brain cannot comprehend how these ships don't just turn turtle!

So you found that famous French bakery where everything is calorie-free? I've been looking forit for years

Shades of my dear old Dad. 'Rohan Kanhi was a West Indian cricketer. You mean 'May I"

Question for the brains trust on here. My lovely daughter is shouting me a trip to the UK. I'll be travelling alone in April/May next year. I'm 75 and haven't flown o/s for 12 years -with SQ business on the A380. I'd probably have to fly cattle class having given away my points to her, have...

I know my hearing isn't the best but Colin Farrell is one actor I can't decipher. Thank goodness for subtitles

When we see a dud it's the ten minute rule. If it hasn't improved or grabbed us, we pull the pin, and think - as in this case - Antony Hopkins must have had an alimony payment due, only in it for the money