A bit of humour

[p--and--t]

 

[straitman]

I have decided to insert a few words just before THE END. Those words are "... and I had a wonderful time"

 

[TheRealTMA]

https://www.facebook.com/Dawnfrenchfan/photos/a.168076799916725/3347474855310221

 

[p--and--t]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[straitman]

 

[straitman]

 

[straitman]

 

[straitman]

 

[JohnM]

Apparently spotted in Karijini NP in the WA Pilbara.

 

[TheRealTMA]

 

[p--and--t]

 

[JohnM]

 

[love_the_life]

Nothing like shuffle play for these funnies

 

[drron]

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[TheRealTMA]

 

[TheRealTMA]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=951087435354055

 

[Cappuccino99]

 

[drron]

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[Major]

I can relate to most of these

When one door closes and another door opens, you are probably in prison.



To me, “drink responsibly” means don’t spill it.



When I say, “The other day,” I could be referring to any time between yesterday and 15 years ago.



Interviewer: “So, tell me about yourself.”

Me: “I’d rather not. I kinda want this job.”



Cop: “Please step out of the car.”

Me: “I’m too drunk. You get in.”



I remember being able to get up without making sound effects.



I had my patience tested.

I’m negative.



Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid that doesn’t fit any of your containers.



If you’re sitting in public and a stranger takes the seat next to you, just stare straight ahead and say “Did you bring the money?”



When you ask me what I am doing today, and I say “nothing,” it does not mean I am free. It means I am doing nothing.



Age 60 might be the new 40, but 9:00 is the new midnight.



I finally got eight hours of sleep. It took me three days, but whatever.



I run like the winded.



I hate when a couple argues in public, and I missed the beginning and don’t know whose side I’m on.



When someone asks what I did over the weekend, I squint and ask, “Why, what did you hear?”



I don’t remember much from last night, but the fact that I needed sunglasses to open the fridge this morning tells me it was awesome.



When you do squats, are your knees supposed to sound like a goat chewing on an aluminum can stuffed with celery?



I don’t mean to interrupt people. I just randomly remember things and get really excited.



When I ask for directions, please don’t use words like “east.”



It’s the start of a brand new day, and I’m off like a herd of turtles.



Don’t bother walking a mile in my shoes That would be boring. Spend 30 seconds in my head. That’ll freak you right out.



That moment when you walk into a spider web suddenly turns you into a karate master.



Sometimes, someone unexpected comes into your life outta nowhere, makes your heart race, and changes you forever. We call those people cops.



The older I get, the earlier it gets late.



My luck is like a bald guy who just won a comb.