bambbbam2
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- Feb 13, 2005
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From here
An Open Letter To American Express | Cracked.com
Dear American Express,
How are you?
I know how hard this global recession has been on everyone, so I thought I’d check in on an old friend. We have had a professional relationship for over ten years.
Me? Well, I’m getting by. Several months ago, I was laid off with millions of other people. I had to take a job at half my prior salary and sell my house. But what am I saying? You know all this! That’s right.
After you saw that my credit report showed a sudden three month hiccup in my otherwise flawless finances, you called to see how I was doing. No wait. Not to see how I was doing.
To unilaterally cut my credit limit from $25,000 to $1,000. Oh, and you didn’t actually call. But that post card was nice.
So I decided to call because that’s what friends do, right?
They don’t jump to conclusions and take rash actions without the facts. But, apparently, it wasn’t an error. One of your employees –let’s call her coughFace— conveyed the sentiment in a subtle way:
"It’s not an error, Mr. Gladstone," she said, twisting her heel into the larynx of a baby chihuahua.
As I bent over to see if I could find what was left of my self worth and dignity rolling away on the floor, she upped the ante:
“We have you right where we want you.”
Yeah, I’m not joking. Who says that? I think she meant Amex had me at their desired credit limit, but seriously?
“We have you right where we want you” is third on the list of evil phrases right behind “we have ways of making you talk,” and “we’re going to revoke your Facebook account if you keep harassing teens.”
An Open Letter To American Express | Cracked.com
Dear American Express,
How are you?
I know how hard this global recession has been on everyone, so I thought I’d check in on an old friend. We have had a professional relationship for over ten years.
Me? Well, I’m getting by. Several months ago, I was laid off with millions of other people. I had to take a job at half my prior salary and sell my house. But what am I saying? You know all this! That’s right.
After you saw that my credit report showed a sudden three month hiccup in my otherwise flawless finances, you called to see how I was doing. No wait. Not to see how I was doing.
To unilaterally cut my credit limit from $25,000 to $1,000. Oh, and you didn’t actually call. But that post card was nice.
So I decided to call because that’s what friends do, right?
They don’t jump to conclusions and take rash actions without the facts. But, apparently, it wasn’t an error. One of your employees –let’s call her coughFace— conveyed the sentiment in a subtle way:
"It’s not an error, Mr. Gladstone," she said, twisting her heel into the larynx of a baby chihuahua.
As I bent over to see if I could find what was left of my self worth and dignity rolling away on the floor, she upped the ante:
“We have you right where we want you.”
Yeah, I’m not joking. Who says that? I think she meant Amex had me at their desired credit limit, but seriously?
“We have you right where we want you” is third on the list of evil phrases right behind “we have ways of making you talk,” and “we’re going to revoke your Facebook account if you keep harassing teens.”
