MEL-HKG-LHR (DUB) LHR-SIN-MEL September 2011

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Lawlass

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Sep 10, 2010
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QF30 – MEL-HKG-LHR

Recently took a trip to London to attend a party I really really wanted to go to.

Being a destitute student (tautology, I know), I sought the advice of the good folk of AFF as to the stingiest way to do the trip. I finally settled on a YASA, which pretty much wiped out my points balance, but covered all those pesky taxes and fees and things.

I chose a flight a day later than I’d planned so that I could take advantage of the FLounge guest spot of jdlover23, me being a mere SG and all. It is completely irrelevant that jdlover23 is WP, because he was flying F. I was really good at sucking back in the jealous green bile that kept spewing out of me every time I spoke to him and I’m pretty sure he had no idea at all that I was envious.

At T-80, I managed to nab seat 40G on QF30 :D (747-438), again having received assurance from the good folk at AFF that it is, indeed, a darn good Y seat.

We had all sorts of grand plans to maximise our FLounge time, including travelling carry-on only and checking in online. We planned things meticulously and when we arrived at the airport…

I realised I’d totally forgotten to check in online.:oops:

I endured much eye-rolling and ‘pffffting’ from my fellow AFFer, but rather than abandoning me, he accompanied me to the service desk, where we were assured by the meanest looking dragon in history that there was NO WAY we could possibly check in for QF30 five hours before the flight. We politely pointed out that we could have checked in online and she gave us some answer that sounded vaguely like a threat, along with a look that had me fearing her head was about to do a 360, so we went away meekly, but used lots of words that would totally come out as …. if I tried to repeat them here (stoopid AFF swear filter).

So we trundled off to the Dom J Lounge, used the computer and printer to check in online, hiked back to Int where, as is ALWAYS the case, I was randomly selected for the explosive test, while jdlover tapped his foot impatiently and shot me dark looks, muttering about wasted FLounge time and bimbos who couldn’t remember simple instructions like “make sure you check in online”.:rolleyes:

But we did finally make it and had the place to ourselves. This was my first MEL FLounge experience and I was really excited, even though I know I came across as totally cool and worldly and WP-like.:cool:

We had discussed the distant possibility that the FLounge dragon might take pity on the poor lass who had to travel Y whilst her companion swanned around in F and offer an op-up to PE, but it was the Day of the Unsympathetic QF Dragon. She barely glanced at my freshly printed BP while she fawned over jdlover23 (he is a rather goodlooking chap), who clearly had a far greater right to be there than me, even though he was being difficult by insisting on getting a proper cardboard BP so he could put the pretty new colour in his scrapbook of BPs or whatever.

Because of my blonde moment, we had only four hours (instead of the planned five), but reassured each other we could make up for it by drinking a bit quicker.:mrgreen:

Now, about the drinking. Both jdlover23 and I are partial to a tipple (yes, that’s a reference to a bogan beverage in his handle) and I always convince myself that I can drink like a bloke, only I can’t and get obnoxiously giggly and pissed, as anyone who was on the ATA Wake can attest. But then I forget the latter bit and try to keep up anyway.

So anyway, we settled in for some tucker, ordering a Taittinger to start (and then again, and then another champagne, and then the waiter suggested another one that was off the menu and probably was something cheap and nasty because it tasted odd, but we finished it anyway and then ordered Taittinger again to wash the taste out). I’ll let the pictures tell the story of dinner.

Menu:
IMG_2415.jpg

Starter: asparagus and poached egg. Very awesome.
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Main: Salt’n’pepper squid - far superior to the bland offering of said dish in the SYD FLounge
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Dessert: I can’t remember, all I do remember was jdlover23’s was some sort of chocolately deliciousness that was way better and I got serious food envy.
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Once we were done, jdlover23 wandered off to enjoy a massage while I switched to red wine (always a smart idea – not), battled with the wifi and fiddled on my iPad, which must have been faulty because the screen was all fuzzy.

Apparently the massage was cough and jdlover23 had to order several more beverages to wash down the disappointment.

Suffice to say, by the time we were called to board, neither of us exactly made a beeline to the gate – it was more like a staggery-zigzag and seemed to take an inordinately long time.

11.gif

Upon boarding, he turned left and I turned right and luckily I wasn’t even thinking clearly enough to contemplate trying to give myself an op-up.

All good though, because, let me tell you, 40G is a choice seat. On the aisle of a four-across config, directly behind PE (I could peek through the curtain and smugly note they had less legroom than me) and with a wall behind me. It’s like your own little mini-cabin. Nobody in front to recline into me and nobody behind to cough when I chose to recline. Even better, there was someone on the other aisle and nobody in the two seats between.

It was so good that I hardly felt even a twinge of jealousy when jdlover23 SMS’d a picture of his seat in F.

After take-off, I realised I could no longer contact my fellow AFFer by text message, so scribbled a note on the corner of my boarding pass and gave it to the FA to take up the front. To this day I have no idea what it said and jdlover23 took great delight later advising me it was incomprehensible gibberish. But he did come back to PlebLand and admired my seat, then I demanded that he score me some F jammies.

At one stage I asked the other guy in my little mini-cabin whether he was a WP. I actually said “WP”. Or, more accurately, slurred it. He, not surprisingly, had no idea what I was talking about and ostentatiously put his headphones in so I wouldn’t speak to him again.

When jdlover23 came back with the jammies, I was disappointed to discover they were the same grey jammies I’d previously scored in J. But I managed to put them on before I passed out, pretty much for the remainder of the leg. Classy. No doubt I snored.

Upon arrival in Hong Kong, feeling somewhat seedy, I met up with jdlover23 and we went to the FLounge there for a shower. We were both decidedly underwhelmed with the lounge, though they did have some exceptionally yummy little Asian nibbles.

Upon reboarding I was dismayed to discover the two other seats in my mini-cabin were occupied and even more dismayed to realise one was occupied by a very short person who turned out to be a toddler. I’m not a particularly kid-friendly people at the best of times, but the idea of toddler + hangover filled me with dread. At least it wasn’t sitting next to me.

As it turned out, it was one of the well-behaved species and really didn’t affect the rest of my totally uneventful flight at all.


Next instalment: Ryanair! And Seat 80A on the A380! (And hopefully jdlover23’s perspective from the lofty heights of F)
 
And here's Seat 40G (with a very drunk Lawlass), though the pics don't do it justice..

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IMG_2420.jpg
 
I don't know why my photos came up so big. I'm remedial. :( Can a moddy-type resize them for me?
 
Ok, that does look like a half decent seat although i would always take the window...

Might have to remember that one if its open to just a poor NB even though i am not sure when/if i will be flying QF again to Europe...
 
I have to say a very accurate report, like a good reporter you must have been taking notes. I will post my point of view shortly, just wanted to point out I would never call anyone a bimbo!

Great report! Good to know what was happening down in the cargo hold :p
 
Ok, that does look like a half decent seat although i would always take the window...

Might have to remember that one if its open to just a poor NB even though i am not sure when/if i will be flying QF again to Europe...

SeatGuru says the row is reserved for status pax and it didn't open up to me until T-80. Window wasn't available, but it has seats behind and isn't really in the mini-cabin. I'm normally a window girl, but I would pick G again.

http://www.seatguru.com/airlines/Qantas_Airways/Qantas_Airways_Boeing_747-400_4.php
 
I have to say a very accurate report, like a good reporter you must have been taking notes. I will post my point of view shortly, just wanted to point out I would never call anyone a bimbo!

Great report! Good to know what was happening down in the cargo hold :p

A gentleman would have given his seat up for a lady! :p
 
Ok, that does look like a half decent seat although i would always take the window...

Might have to remember that one if its open to just a poor NB even though i am not sure when/if i will be flying QF again to Europe...

This is 40A on QF 1, sat in it last month. Almost made Y bearable :0
ImageUploadedByAustFreqFly1318885281.622365.jpg
 
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PART 2

So London was awesome and the party I went for was totally worth the trip. I was lucky enough to have offers of spare rooms at a number of friends and availed myself of rooms in Camden Town, Hackney, Soho and Covent Garden, spreading myself around so people wouldn’t have the chance to realise they don’t actually like me that much after a few days.

So no hotel reports in this TR sorry.

The Covent Garden flat was mind blowing, with a ledge overlooking the market which I could access by climbing through my bedroom window. My host mentioned I was the first to try this as he passed espressos through while I checked the news on my iPad of a morning.

IMG_2531.jpg

Ryanair

My godson lives in Ireland, so naturally I had to make a side trip. Good old Ryanair had flights so cheap they were practically paying me to take them.

Now say what you like about Ryanair, if you follow the rules, my experience has never been anything but good in the ways that matter – getting you there on time. Mostly because they force you to be BIS about 45 minutes before the actual departure time.

They are also good for your health and fitness as you walk the 14 kilometres to the gate. I do wonder if the combination of the strict boarding cutoff (even though the plane is still sitting there for the next hour) and the marathon-length hike to the gate allows them to oversell the plane, happy in the knowledge there will always be people that don’t make it.

I can’t remember much about the flights, except that they were on time and nobody tells you to switch your iPad off. And I could have won free flights and money with scratchies, but like the rest of the plane I declined this kind offer.

But here’s the reason I went to Ireland (caution: cute kid pic follows):

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Back to London

Upon return to London, I was touched to discover my friends had organised a going away party in Soho on the Sunday night. We went to BKB, Rupert Street, The Yard and then finally managed to get kicked out of Shadow Lounge, which is one of those places that all the dregs go to when everything else is shut. It is not easy to be evicted from this place. Please note it was one of my companions and not me who was the catayst.

We had the bright idea of going to a restaurant – and bless Soho, there was one across the road, serving dinner at 3am. Upon seeing the bedraggled state of our little party the doorman told us he’d let us in to eat, but we were not to be served alcohol. Our waiter reiterated this when taking our dinner orders. (Eggs Florentine at 3am= WIN). We were okay with this, but when one of our party ordered a couple of 80-quid bottles of champagne, suddenly we were sober enough to be served. Go figure.

QF9 LHR-SIN-MEL

Once again, the T-80 Gods smiled on me and I discovered 80A had opened up. Mind you, I had scored 71D on booking, so was already pretty happy, but getting window and legroom was just icing.

One of the great things about staying in Covent Garden is the Tube goes straight to LHR and doesn’t take more than ten minutes longer than the Express once you factor in getting to Paddington. Three quid on the Oyster compared to twenty-six quid for the Heathrow Express does it for me.

At LHR I had access to the Admiral Club which was nothing too exciting, but better than not having access. I’d been there before so only gave myself half an hour.

Oooooh…. Seat 80A on the A380 Best. Economy Seat. Ever.

Being one of the last on, I had the stares of those around me as they’d been hoping that the seat was vacant. I’m not sure how they would have decided who would have been entitled to it had I not turned up, but I think it would have been bloody.

Knowing I had a kilometre of legroom in front of me, I had decided an inflatable ottoman was required. I searched London high and low to no avail, but at Dublin Airport, I found this classy number:

Guinness Guiness Inflatable Pint Cooler | eBay

It was perfect. Blow it up, stuff my bag and coat into it, turn it upside down and it was totally at seat height, big enough to squirm from back to side without it moving.

When I felt like it, I stood up, walked straight forward from my window seat, past the chumps who had paid for exit seats and helped myself to the self-serve bar behind the curtain.

Virtually everyone who walked past stopped, looked and commented on, or asked about, scoring the seat. I wanted to get a photo of me in it, but felt like too much of a wanker asking people because they were already soooooo jealous, so here’s some serfty prepared earlier:

http://www.australianfrequentflyer....m/seat-80a-80k-new-a380-16487.html#post225853

To be honest, I don’t remember much about the flight except that it was super-comfortable and I stretched out like I was in an old-style J-Seat. Changi lounge was okay and then I had a whole new batch of people to notice and covet my precious 80A on the next leg.

THE END

Oh. Movie advice. Don’t watch Snowtown when you’re in a confined space with people who look normal but could be serial killers. Or Sleeping Beauty (the Australian one, definitely not Disney) when you’re in an aisle seat where people can see your screen as they walk past. I totally looked like a pervert and it wasn’t even that great a movie.
 
OMG - the blow up ottoman idea is a great one. I'm so going to look for something similar for my flight back to Aus.
 
Loved it.Impressed by the enlightened attitudes they have to ETOH in Ireland.:D
 
Loved it.Impressed by the enlightened attitudes they have to ETOH in Ireland.:D

I wondered if I missed it because I'd been watching a movie while we waited to move, but I took my headphones out when they did the safety demo and nobody else switched theirs off either. Certainly no cabin crew came through to check.
 
After the description of your "adventures", very brave to post a pic! You look like you are - and could even be - wearing a hat. Good on you, bringing elegance back to travel.

And here I was patting myself on the back for leaving out all the bits not fit for public consumption. Damn. :(

p.s. that's the curtain separating my mini-cabin from the rest of Y :rolleyes:
 
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