One Hancock, One Harridan and too much Habromania

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TonyHancock

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This year promises less travel, although Griselda informs me I will be visiting Blighty on at least five occasions, presumably via some far off place in Norway again.. Thanks to Griselda’s incompetence I am, alas, unable to make my customary January trip to China. She failed to realize that reapplication for my APEC card, whatever that is, should have been made six months ago. :shock:

The prospect of queuing up with everyone else at Shanghai immigration was not something I wanted to face……ever. I quizzed Griselda about the status of my APEC card on a daily basis but as usual she was completely unprepared and unable to provide a satisfactory response. :?:

I was feeling deflated and lacked a certain “je ne sais quoi”. Usually my brilliance shone through, but I was decidedly lacklustre. Not even a Mint Julip (3 oz. of ice cold Coates Plymouth gin waved in the general direction of Lexington, Kentucky) could cheer me up.”

After last year’s debacle Griselda had at least waited a few days into the New Year before regaling me with the travel plans she had organized, and I use that word loosely, for me. Quite frankly I had little interest as she rambled on and on about Stavanger, Heathrow and Basel. My curiosity was only slightly piqued at the mention of San Diego.

“Ms Pugh I can’t face South America again, I am still recovering from the Formule 1 incident in Belo Horizonte four years ago” Perhaps it was five years ago I couldn’t actually remember.

“Don’t be silly Mr Hancock, San Diego is in The United States of America” Griselda was at her condescending best….or worst depending which side of the fence you sit.

From my experience places in North America sounded like New York, Chicago, Cincinnati, Pittsburgh (although that sounded a bit German) or Boston. Anything with a Las or San or for that matter El in it sounded South American or Mexican although I wasn’t quite sure what the difference between those two was.

“San Diego is in the South West of the USA” Griselda added, only slightly less than helpfully.

“I say Griselda, could you pass me The Times Atlas of the World please, the 1895 edition not the one with all of those new fangled countries I don’t recognize?” I asked firmly.

It was just as I thought; San Diego was less than an inch from the border with Mexico and by my reckoning that made it practically in Mexico. I wondered whether that Trump chap would get a decent wall built before my April visit. He sounded just the type of chap to sort The United States out, although I wasn’t too sure about the need to clear out the lobbyists in Washington. I rather fancied one of those lobbyist jobs. :p

I prepared myself a Manhattan (3 oz. of ice cold Coates Plymouth gin waved in the general direction of New York) in another attempt to extract myself from the fog of melancholy that enveloped me.

I fear travel has finally done for my sanity. Those wonderful days when travel was luxurious and filled with glamour had long gone and I had been dragged into a world of noise, confusion, flip flops and singlets. Sadly I will now always associate travel from Australia with a day out at Skegness.

There was a time when a visit to the Qantas first class Lounge in Sydney or Melbourne generated an almost child like anticipation. I wondered if familiarity had bred contempt or whether it was just that the lounges were overcrowded with Qantas Platinum types. [-]Even that Joyce chapped legged it sharpish when faced with the choice of staying to provide support to stranded Qantas Platinum types or being pilloried in the media for abandoning them.[/-] I give credit to that Joyce fellow who manfully remained in Dubai with the baying mob of Qantas Platinums when he could have been away on the very next Emirates flight. (I would have been gone like a shot!!!) :p

The last trip had really brought the modern awfulness of travel home to me. I had been forced to run at Hong Kong airport in order not to miss a flight. This was what my life had come to. I did not even have time for a White Russian (3 oz of ice cold Coates Plymouth gin waved in the general direction of St Petersburg)

I mixed myself a Singapore Sling (3 oz. of ice cold Coates Plymouth gin waved in the general direction of Singapore) in a further attempt to lift the gloom, although I was conscious that mixing drinks would lead to no good. :p

Surely I could find something to look forward to in 2017? I think the New Years Honours List had started me down a rocky road. Apparently someone named “Posh Spice” had received an honour. I presume he is a Peterborough United football player of Asian descent with a name like that. I thought I might be in with a shout this year given my patronage of the British Gin industry but alas I have missed out once again.

So I am a world weary, disillusioned and reluctant traveller as I prepare to bore you with tales of the same old routes and problems Griselda sets before me.

TTFN
 
This could certainly be an education in coughtail recipes.
Yep - although the bottle of Plymouth is just under 2/3rds full with 17oz left by my reckoning. (It would have been approaching half full if there had been more time in Hong Kong airport ...)
 
Yep - although the bottle of Plymouth is just under 2/3rds full with 17oz left by my reckoning. (It would have been approaching half full if there had been more time in Hong Kong airport ...)

Unless it's a 2.25L duty free special ;)
 
Griselda's standards certainly are slipping.

Subscribing to see what happens.
 
Yep - although the bottle of Plymouth is just under 2/3rds full with 17oz left by my reckoning. (It would have been approaching half full if there had been more time in Hong Kong airport ...)

Shouldn't let the monk's feet get dry before getting a new bottle
 
After last year's trials and tribulations I'm looking forward to the 2017 version...
 
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Trying to teach us ignorant colonials some upper class Olde English words Mr.Hancock.
As I am a fully paid up habromaniac I object.:oops::shock:
As for Ms.Pugh I regard her as more of a vixen than harridan.She just has to be as wily as a fox to put up with your endless letters of complaint you demand she sends.;):D

Now a bit of advice.Here in the colonies it is not at all popular to use posh words or drink foreign sounding concoctions so I suggest your next drink should be 6oz ice cold Coates Plymouth gin(from your ramblings it is obvious the dose should be increased) over ice and waved in the general direction of Sydney's international cruise terminal for a more Aussie gin on The Rocks.:p:p:D
 
Never boring, always seeking to stretch our understanding of both travel and human interactions. I am on board for another fun ride.
 
When would one want to be in Basel to start a flight, this would be a new routing for me...

BA fares originating in continental Europe are significantly cheaper than those from the UK.This is not just due to the horrible APD tax but also to encourage the Euro-people to use BA
Qatar fares are also cheaper ex-Europe but Mr Hancock seems to like the Concorde Room and the BAEC Gold Guest List perks
 
BA fares originating in continental Europe are significantly cheaper than those from the UK.This is not just due to the horrible APD tax but also to encourage the Euro-people to use BA
Qatar fares are also cheaper ex-Europe but Mr Hancock seems to like the Concorde Room and the BAEC Gold Guest List perks

Thanks, I was wondering if there was special date or routing to make BSL work? The OSL ones I know and it is rare to get cheap OW from Switzerland.

A recent example.... on Tuesday I fly one way to BLR, could have started from GVA or ZRH. GVA was 2150 CHF whilst ZRH was 560 even though both are on the same LHR-BLR. So in the end just easy to take a train to ZRH and save some decent coin...
 
Thanks, I was wondering if there was special date or routing to make BSL work? The OSL ones I know and it is rare to get cheap OW from Switzerland.

A recent example.... on Tuesday I fly one way to BLR, could have started from GVA or ZRH. GVA was 2150 CHF whilst ZRH was 560 even though both are on the same LHR-BLR. So in the end just easy to take a train to ZRH and save some decent coin...

I have a meeting in Southern Germany in May, according to Griselda, and apparently Basel is the nearest airport, although I am sure she is just trying to confuse me.
 
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