How to conquer a fear of flying

[carly]

Hi all

I need to somehow conquer my fear of flying as I'm due to fly from Australia to L.A in less than two months for a holiday (as well as a few internal flights)

To give you an example of my fear, I cried/shook in fear last December on the flight to and from QLD (which is only an hour and a half flight)

I can't tell you what exactly I fear, sometimes terrorists, sometimes faulty planes.

I know this may seem extremely silly however it seems to become worse each flight I take.

I would find comfort in talking to frequent flyers or pilots that can reassure my safety.

I have downloaded the Valk fly app on my iPhone and lately have been tracking flights so I can connect in my mind the thousands of flights that happen daily and how they manage to arrive safely.

I'll be flying Qantas on an Airbus 380 and have booked an extra leg room seat.

Any help is appreciated, and yes I am a sook - I know haha.

 

[puppysparkes]

Hi Carly, a friend of mine did this course in Sydney to successfully overcome his anxiety: http://sydney.flightexperience.com.au/category/packages/fear-of-flying/

I noticed this website offers a free version http://www.fearofflyinghelp.com

I totally understand anxiety and hope you find a manageable solution.

 

[TomVexille]

All I'd like to say is that flying is safer than ever. Safer than many daily tasks we take for granted. Also the A380 is a very stable aircraft.

 

[dodgeyhack]

Read the 'Ask the Pilot thread'. That should give you some good insight into the reality of flying and may help put irrational fears aside.

 

[Dr Ralph]

Prescription medication?

 

[Deleted member]

maybe this from Col Chris Hadfield, Canadian Astronaut:
He spoke of the need to "separate danger from fear". He asked: "How do you face up to danger in your life?". He challenged: "How do you change yourself from just hiding behind an amorphous fear ... to digging in to it, to figuring out that this is something worth taking a risk for?"

ok , its not likely you want to travel into space, but its an interesting perspective

 

[MEL_Traveller]

Hi Carly, a friend of mine did this course in Sydney to successfully overcome his anxiety: Fear of Flying Course Archives – Flight Experience SydneyFlight Experience Sydney

I noticed this website offers a free version Fear of Flying Free Help Course

I totally understand anxiety and hope you find a manageable solution.

I agree with this approach. Take a flying course.

There is another one here which is supported by Qantas, and the course ends with a Qantas flight: Fearless Flyers Inc.

 

[medhead]

My wife has the fear of flying. It only came on after the birth of number one child. She agrees that the fears are fairly irrational, but that doesn't remove the fear. I haven't seen shaking or anything like that on a flight, but it takes a good 12 months to actually build up to flying and taking a holiday. The other day I mentioned a vague possibility of a flying holiday, completely random side comment, and her heart starting beating faster.

On that background info, I would highly recommend talking to your GP, getting a referral to a psychologist and developing a care plan. This can all be covered by medicare, with the care plan to be implemented. My wife did this for our last trip to Asia. She was 1000 times better than all previous trips. We'd booked with Malaysian before their incidents last year, when MH370 disappeared she asked about changing airlines, but we did stick with Malaysian airlines. That's how much the program helped.

She did have a really good pyschologist, in South Australia, who was into all the flight stuff and could talk through the technicalities. He also provided drugs as a backup and developed a whole program for coping on the flight and all.

Highly recommended because of being able to work through all the personal issues.

I agree a fear of flying course is also great. But in discussing with my wife her experience I'm not sure such a course would have been as big a benefit.

BTW I've offered to do a fear of flying course with her a few times. She refuses because she says I'd enjoy it too much.

 

[MEL_Traveller]

We'd booked with Malaysian before their incidents last year, when MH370 disappeared she asked about changing airlines, but we did stick with Malaysian airlines. That's how much the program helped.

I'd almost see that as a program fail. There are times when gut instinct about potential danger is a good thing. Unfortunately, and tragically, avoiding MH after 370 would have been a good thing.

 

[maureeng]

I did the Qantas fear of flying course which did help a lot but on a long flight I still take prescription medication. I saw a psychologist who told me I have a fear of flying due to an incident. 20 years ago we lost cabin pressure on a flight and had oxygen.
Listen to your favourite music on take off and during turbulence and do the breathing technique in for 8, hold for 2 out for 5. It really helps with anxiety.

 

[medhead]

I'd almost see that as a program fail. There are times when gut instinct about potential danger is a good thing. Unfortunately, and tragically, avoiding MH after 370 would have been a good thing.

Except it isn't gut instinct, it is irrational fear. The program allowed rational consideration of the situation to arrive at a response rather than knee jerking irrational reaction. That's a success.

Given that no one knows what caused MH370 you're other comments are at best ill-informed nonsense.

 

[MEL_Traveller]

Except it isn't gut instinct, it is irrational fear. The program allowed rational consideration of the situation to arrive at a response rather than knee jerking irrational reaction. That's a success.

Given that no one knows what caused MH370 you're other comments are at best ill-informed nonsense.

And one rational line of thinking would be that if you don't know the cause of a crash, you start to ask questions.

While airlines owe us a duty of care, there is considerable capacity for a person to try and keep themselves out of harm's way.

An unexplained crash, poor handling of the aftermath (which raises questions about airline management), and I think it's a perfectly logical, rather than knee-jerk reaction, for anyone deciding not to fly that airline.

 

[medhead]

And one rational line of thinking would be that if you don't know the cause of a crash, you start to ask questions.

While airlines owe us a duty of care, there is considerable capacity for a person to try and keep themselves out of harm's way.

An unexplained crash, poor handling of the aftermath (which raises questions about airline management), and I think it's a perfectly logical, rather than knee-jerk reaction, for anyone deciding not to fly that airline.

An another rational response is to consider the likelihood of reoccurence and/or the level of risk of reoccurence. Plus the whole range of other factors. Rather than just say they had a crash don't fly them. The program was a success because SWMBO was able to sit down and talk through all the issue involved. Rather than the old response, which would have been they had a crash, ARGH! That is a success.

 

[juddles]

.... I know this may seem extremely silly ....

Hey there Carly!

First up, it is NOT silly! It is perfectly natural. We all fear things, some irrational, some not.

I have been flying since a baby - not heaps, but quite a bit. And I absolutely love it - all things planes, travel, etc etc. And through luck and devotion have managed to attain many thousands of hours in the sky. But even so, occasionally I look out the window, and for some reason suddenly suffer a true perception of the height, the un-naturalness of being up there, and it gives me the absolute willies!! But I have learned to just look back inside, grab a magazine (or a large rum!) and put my mind somewhere else.

It is 100% NOT natural that a human being is whizzing along at a million miles an hour 30000 feet above the ground. We were designed to walk around the plains of Africa. So that fear is PERFECTLY natural. Same as doing 100kmh in a car.

I make no claim to being a shrink, but I think that to start out you need to believe that your fear is not "silly" - it is a very reasonable thing. But also understand it is not necessary. In the moment of travel, the statistics that show very clearly you are safer there than in a cab may not reassure you. But those statistics are REAL. You ARE safe!

Others here have suggested courses and psychiatric help - and I agree in your case this could help. Those professionals understand not just the safety of modern flying, but they also understand what makes an individual suffer that fear so acutely, and can thus give you great advice to improve things.

Please work on your situation - flying is an amazing perk of living in the current age - cheap, safe, and opens the whole world to you

 

[JohnK]

Prescription medication?

This was my solution.

I am claustrophobic and suffer from panic attacks/anxiety attacks on flights.

I used to take a 5mg valium tablet ~45 minutes-90 minutes before flight. It helped tremendously and once I was in the air there wasn't any issue at all. Later dropped that down to 1/2 a valium tablet before each flight. T

Somewhere along the way I went from having panic attacks to having anxiety attacks instead.

Then ~10 years ago my GP recommended I start using Xanax instead of Valium. So I started off 1mg Xanax before each flight and soon reduced that 1/2mg Xanax before each flight and to this day that is what I do. Some days 1/2mg is not enough so I take the 1/2mg as well.

 

[smcgrego]

After a bad incident about 15 years ago, I've also suffered from fear of flying. It has improved quite a bit in recent years however, just due to reading some books, making sure my mind is in a calm, good place before I fly and trying to think positive thoughts on take off and landing - reminding myself that that pilots are the best of the best, that the engineering on these planes is a modern miracle and how many flights take off and land every minute of every day without incident.
I also find that the bigger the plane, the less anxiety I have. The shuttle planes Qantas use domestically I find quite scary as you feel every little bump and acceleration. The A380, however doesn't frighten me a bit. It feels so safe and stable. Take off is more like going up in a lift that going up in a rocket. I really hope you enjoy your trip!

 

[Milboo]

I have had periods where I have been anxious about flying and found the Ask the Pilot thread here to be quite helpful as it helped me understand more what different things during the flight were all about. I have a strong 'control freak' streak - so the more I am in control (in this case by having knowledge), the calmer I feel.

I also remind myself of the perspective - how many people fly a day etc and the fact it is riskier to get in a car than on a plane.

I also ensure I have some Valium or sleeping tablet at hand.

The other thing that has helped me is simply flying more. Perhaps schedule in some weekend trips before the big flight - maybe with someone who knows a bit about flying and can explain sounds etc to you.

 

[badseed]

My mother also suffers from fear of flying, stemming from an incident on a TAA flight as an unaccompanied child. Many years ago she did a course offered at the time by Ansett (R.I.P.) which involved a classroom-type situation out at Melbourne Airport run by a psychologist with guest pilots, flight attendants, maintenance workers etc. They then held a session in an A320 whilst it was being towed from the terminal to the hangar, and then the next week had a 20 minute flight around Melbourne. Since then her fears have been managable, and she's been able to travel far and wide, and often. So I'd recommend speaking to the professionals on this.