Horror Flight To Gladstone...

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munitalP

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Horror Flight To Gladstone

26 June 2008 0207am

Passengers on a fight between Brisbane and Gladstone yesterday faced a horrifying sixty five minutes of up and down while the QANTAS Dash 8 aircraft was stretched to its performance limits and the pilots had to use the onboard navigation to get the aircraft to safely land at the final destination.

Mrs. Ronda Smith (89) a frequent flyer with QANTAS said “it was horrible. I knew something was not right when the lovely hostess told us to watch closely as she showed us the emergency landing procedure. What made me nervous the most was the yellow life jacket not matching my cream cardy. This happened on my last flight with this terrible airline as well! (QANTAS) They put me next to a young man who sold typewriters and smoked the whole way on the DC8”

“the plane surged forward at a tremendous speed” Mr. Frank Walker (87) of Gladstone explained, “there was a shuddering then it just went quite smooth. You could feel the plane surging and I knew the pilots barely had it in control as the front of the plane was riding a lot higher than the back”

A QANTAS spokesman confirmed that this had actually happened and said it was a reasonably frequent occurrence. Investigations by this office have found that this maneuver by the QANTAS pilots of traveling with the front of the plane higher than the rear has been going on for quite some time and happens for a considerable time during the flight. When again questioned about this practice, the QANTAS spokesman clamed up and refused to answer anymore questions after saying, “its normal”.

To compound the confusion further, it has been alleged by a source inside the corporate office of QANTAS in Melbourne that there is a time during the flight that the front of the plane is purposely pointed downwards and the back of the plane is higher than the front. This has to yet be confirmed by this office.

“I thought we were going to dye” said Mrs. Petra Bagel a textile sales person from Brisbane, “my whole life flashed in front of me when for no reason the power just came off the plane. One minute we were in control, the next the power just lowered and the plane started plunging toward the ground”

“they told us electronic things would interfere with the navigation system and to turn them off. That’s when I knew we were in trouble. I switched off my hearing aid...” Mr. Frank Walker said, “the pilots have got to be commended though, having only their navigation system to get them from Brisbane to Gladstone must have been harrowing for them (pilots) as well”

This reporter has unearthed documents on the internet that show that these navigation systems are high tech gadgets that allow planes to get from point A to point B when the pilots cannot visually pinpoint their location. I suggest that if QANTAS was to travel with the front of the aircraft lower than the back, use of the navigation system would not be needed! Apparently a spokesman for the British Royal Navy, a Captain James Cook has endorsed the use of navigation to find places. He was quoted as saying “I would never found Australia and New Zealand without the use of navigation…” This reporter says get a map book – duh!

The DASH 8 pitched and yawed for a further 10 to 12 minutes before finally coming to rest at the Gladstone terminal. “You could feel the fight the pilot was having with the mechanical beast” Pastor B. Goode of the Brisbane Brotherhood said, “it was an endless struggle with the roar of the motors and the violent descent of the plane. Then there were the moans and groans of obviously distressed components as our speed just seemed to vanish and we landed. I was shocked at the braking and my copy of the in-flight magazine went flying from the seat next to me. I was going to take that magazine home. It shows a map of Australia where there are other states – not just Queensland – fancy that” he said.

An unnamed source at the Gladstone Airport said that he saw smoke come from the area of the landing gear possibly the tires as the plane hit the ground.

QANTAS refused to comment about the smoke other than to refer us to another company called Michelin – at this stage the relationship between the two companies has not been established by this office.

Asked whether the recent strike action by the engineers created this horrendous situation where the passengers feared for their lives, the general reaction by the passengers asked was unanimous.

Mrs. Ronda Smith a frequent flyer with QANTAS had these parting words as she was whisked away by her care givers, “that’s twice in 48 years I have flown with QANTAS and both times the same result. They have no control, one minute the planes going up, then it settles down then the next it’s going down again – like a yoyo! Where’s the young man selling them typewriters?”

This office will be conducting further investigation into the practices of the QANTAS pilots and the outlandish behavior of going up and down as described by Mrs. Ronda Smith (89) of Gladstone.
 
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They put me next to a young man who sold typewriters and smoked the whole way on the DC8
how long has it been since she last flew? I suppose it was a B707 since I don't think QF ever operated DC8s and they look similar.;)

“I thought we were going to dye”
Really? :shock: what colour? Cream to match her Cardigan?

the pilots have got to be commended though, having only their navigation system to get them from Brisbane to Gladstone must have been harrowing for them (pilots) as well
ahhh... ok... umm, how else are they going to navigate to Gladstone if not with their navigation systems? Divine intervention? :shock:

Anyway - good to see QF's two most elderly pax to Gladstone got their say in what publication? ... what was that? it's a hoax you say? surely not! I've read similar articles in mainstream media regularly.;)
 
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You mean that the front of the plane has to be higher during a flight? I think that's called takeoff.

And the front of the plane has to be lower during a flight? That's call landing.

:D
 
Whats with the clothing theme to this piece?

Matching Cardy colours?
I thought I was going to Dye?
Textile sales person?


But *lol* all the same :)
 
I've read similar articles in mainstream media regularly.;)


I doubt it, this "article" is covering a recent event, needs to age a little before the mainstream press pick it up :rolleyes:
 
I doubt it, this "article" is covering a recent event, needs to age a little before the mainstream press pick it up :rolleyes:
They might pick up the story about Rhonda's previous flight any day now...
 
ahhh... ok... umm, how else are they going to navigate to Gladstone if not with their navigation systems? Divine intervention? :shock:


Ahhh....... follow the "seam" between the water and the land?
 
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Gold!! Be sure if Newsltd publish (whih they will!) in the Outer Woopwoop Times you get due royalties......
 
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